of urinal torment

hi

please, be under no illusion or false impression. i am quite aware, look you see, that the subject here is not one which generally features in polite, day to day conversation. this is really not something which i particularly wish to give all that much consideration to, bar the commonly accepted practicality of requirement of such things. but, Spiros gets upset if i don't include something here for him from time to time, and so here is where we are. 

many would be the number of forgotten (overlooked, is better, maybe) casualties or closures brought about by the invisible war on the new plague. as various ringleaders conspired to cease all usual, standard or normal actions and activities to try and prevent this corona or covid thing spreading, not all was thought through the full distance. whilst i would imagine you have worked this out, one such of these many is very much public restroom facilities for the gentry.

initially, a decision was made that all public restroom facilities for the gentry (or "bogs", if you prefer less wordy names) were to be closed, as this would more or less immediately win the war against this plague. regrettably, it did not. also, gentlemen had to seek other places to do whatever it is they would as standard do in such restrooms, and things got a trifle messy, not to mention in one or two instances uncomfortably embarrassing. 

to this end, a partially right decision was swiftly taken to half correct the folly. a decree was passed, or whatever, and restroom facilities for the gentry were permitted to open once more, but only at 50% of the usual capacity. or, half. one provision of this was a strict limitation on the number of gentlemen who could congregate in any one restroom at one particular moment. no clarity was given on who might patrol or enforce this limitation, but Spiros has assured me that, in his extensive experience, it is quite comment (indeed frequent) to find members of the constabulary in this particular social setting. 

for those wondering what, and where, Spiros is up to with a great deal of precision, above is an image he recently elected to share with me. and, as a consequence, you. not urinal limitation lament torment related per se, but close. someone, an anonymous source (but likely one of them london hackney carriage black cab drivers), had told Spiros that Wood Lane station, of all places, was now the most interesting spot for like minded men to meet. congregate, if you will. so, off he went. 

so, closing down (or making unavailable) some 50% (half) of the facilities (urinals, let us be honest and grown up about it) in gentlemen's restroom facilities in order to win the invisible war on the new plague. whereas i get the logic, the thinking and perhaps the intention of it, this was not thought out at all. by decreasing the number of things one may conventionally use in such a facility, what they have done is, as point of fact, increased the number of members of the gentry standing around, in close proximity to each other, waiting to have a go (so to speak). 

above is an image of a private cubicle, with a non-urinal relief facility within, closed off. i do not believe this is due to any covid concerns, but rather due to some damage in it. possibly from a distressed incident, i would rather not know or ask. or maybe it is closed off as part of the invisible war. i had no wish to move any closer to read the sign. 

with the idea being to "maintain social distances", commonly accepted as 6ft (or about two metres) apart from one another, then surely, to get back on some sort of vague point, it would have been much wiser and more better to increase the number of facilities available to the gentry, rather than decrease them? i proclaim to be no expert, and clutch at a shield of defence that i am but partially educated, but if i have counted correctly then more urinals would mean less men standing around near each other for prolonged periods of time. 

right there above is the taped off, blocked or if you will banned (barred) urinal, but not presented in the greater good and glory of Commodore 64 mode. for some reason it is so that someone appears to have put a little bit of a tear in it, maybe one of them "glory hole" things i have heard about in passing. no, it most certainly was not me. 

he is the only person i know what spends a considerable, nay formidable, amount of time in public restroom facilities, so i asked of Spiros his thoughts on urinals being blocked off. this was done with an innocence not reciprocated. a brief element of his response indicated that he did not notice, and then he commenced telling me tales along the lines of meeting like minded men to form short term but mutually beneficial friendships. i listened for a short while but soon, as i felt my sense of purity being desecrated and corrupted, told him that it appeared my leg (or similar limb) was falling off, and that he would have to tell me all about it at some other, deliberately not specified, time. undoubtedly, he shall. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!