judgement of jim

heya

a fairly recent television thing brought to mind that which is, look you see, unlikely. which would be an aspect of Bullseye (real or imagined) what i had not ever mentioned here before. that would be the instance, or incident, in which His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen used his stature and status in the world to solve a major murder case. 

some background, then. no, actually, it is rather much more better to say to recap. as has been explored on this blog before, frequently, prior to his ascendancy to (or acceptance of) the role of pope, it was so that His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen used Bullseye as a platform, or conduit, or if indeed you prefer pulpit, to administer various teachings and lessons. 

these lessons, which as mentioned earlier (just right there above) were teachings for us to learn from, were always focused on achieving a plateau of a harmonious existence; to create a world where aspects of peace, tranquility, splendour, having thousands of pounds in cash randomly in your suit pocket and love and merged, converged and blended into one universal ideal. it was excellent, and of tremendous benefit to the world. proof of this is measured in by just how much gone to sh!t the world has since he ceased doing the job. went f****d it has, to be sure. 

on a superficial level, or at face value even, it might seem that solving crimes, in particular heinous ones such as murder, or twats like Phil Collins and later Boris Gardner blocking Frankie Goes To Hollywood from being number one in the charts, would be part of such a remit. not so. in his wisdom, it was that His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen believed Bullseye should only advocate how life would be, and not seek to punish those who made choice which defied his vision. 

but, and of course there is a but, otherwise the story would end here, one exception was made. much of this has been documented in the recent, generally well received series off of ITV here in the UK, called The Pembrokeshire Murders. regrettably the title is a bit of a spoiler, but still, here is a link to their show. well worth watching, even if only for a reminder of how great Keith Allen was in the 80s, when he was a versatile, talented actor as well as being a gobby opinionated sh!tbag, before ditching the talent aspects (briefly) to concentrate on being a gobby opinionated sh!tbag and raising children who appear to lack his natural flair or talent but do indeed excel at being gobby opinionated sh!tbags, even outstripping him in some instances. yes, especially her. but that is another story. 

right, where was i? oh yes, that time His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen used his immense gifts, and his cathedral of Bullseye, to help the coppers work out who done the murders. so yes, also spoilers shall flow for the remainder of this post. although yes, the culprit was brought to book. had his collar felt, or however you would word it. an American would say something like "his ass got busted", i suppose, and i think in Japan criminals are supposed to kill themselves in some sort of peculiar ceremonial way rather than have the shame of being caught. 

generally, and actually, His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen had a fondness for each and every part of the British Isles, except of course Hartlepool, blemished as the place is with an unnecessary and heavy handed approach to propping up their economy with trivial traffic and parking fines. he was, it is believed, or rather i assume, particularly fond of Pembrokeshire, mostly because of how lovely and delightful it sounded when spoken with his distinct, discerning accent. 

it was the thought of this (presumably) lovely place being blemished by crime, of being tainted by the falling of the blood of innocents in defiance of nature, which prompted His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen to act. and act swiftly he did, breaking the vow of making Bullseye a place of learning not punishment for it was the only way to achieve harmony. 

you were, i believe, rather fairly warned about spoilers above. these now come below, with the rest of this post. and, in particular, in this all too brief video clip below. believe me, i have no wish to showcase or give air to this or any criminal, but it is important to note how he did not respect, if not directly disrespect, His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen.

at that point above, in the presence of His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen, if there was any hope of redemption or salvation for this chap, then he would have broken down there and then, confessed all, and pleaded for mercy. but no, he carried on as if he had not done the murders. shocking that someone should have fallen so far from grace that not even in the face of His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen would they repent. 

quite a lot of what followed then, was a real version of that ludicrous, false and patently ridiculous urban legend surrounding Phil Collins and the song In The Air Tonight. to briefly recap it, a story is that he wrote it about a murder he witnessed, he investigated the murder, found who did it, invited him to a gig, and as he performed the song had the spotlight shine on him, at which point the police swooped in and arrested him. instead of, you know, going to the police, reporting that you saw a murder, giving them a description of who done it, and handing over to them all investigations so that they might arrest him without having to arrange a concert to do it. 

sure, yes, in the TV series (or dramatisation) of it, they do depict it that his appearance on Bullseye was just incidental and co-incidental, and how it led to his capture was a partially lucky fluke occurrence. but, also, at the front of each episode (all three) there is a disclaimer, stating that certain events had been altered for "dramatic" purposes. this i am assuming is absolute confirmation His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen arranged the whole thing so as to catch the criminal, but requested no attention be drawn to this so as not to blemish the temple of universal ideals what he had forged Bullseye to be. 

one rather surprising aspect is, of course, that this was all done via a British (as in proper) television show, and not an American one. everything we know (and see) of American media gives every suggestion that this would be a perfectly natural and unsurprising thing for them to have done. i can only imagine it is because of the huge amounts of commercial breaks they have, and the amount of time they have to dedicate to audiences whooping and laughing and applauding, that there is just nowhere near enough time available to solve a crime during a standard television episode of whatever it is they watch on the tele over there. 

let me conclude by pointing out, again, no major crime (that i can think of) has been solved via television since His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen took the pope gig. whilst i have every confidence in our constabulary to crack on and do so regardless, i am sure they appreciated what he did in this instance, and look upon it fondly. it would be fitting if every police station in the land had a framed image of His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen on display, as a reminder that it is all worthwhile. 

unfortunately, and with regret, i am not at all sure too many more references to Bullseye, or for that matter His Holiness, His Excellency Jim Bowen, shall appear here. a key (pivotal) reason for this would be that the channel what shows Bullseye have shoved the broadcasts all the way out to 11pm at night, thinking for some reason showing things with Bradley Walsh in them for 16 hours of each day would be quite class. he is all right, mind, but no. 

be excellent to each other (except murderers)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!