Sunday, April 05, 2020

fancy lighters

heya


or indeed ciao, look you see, as all this isolation business appears to have increased the number of readers i get from countries what are presently locked down. how bleak it must be if my musings are considered entertainment to get through it; may this all pass soon.

although perhaps it has, since this is written in the later parts of march with an intention of being published or "live" in the early (ish) stages of april. perhaps it has all gone away by now, or maybe that is just half full optimism from moi. better than full tilt pessimism, though.

but then, maybe it is so that as and when this appears my most treasured (or relied upon) cigarettes are also a thing of the past. rationing and panic buying appears to have affected or been implemented on everything else, so who knows. as they exist in the here and now, however, time to revel in a most splendid find.



yes, fancy or if you like posh cigarette lighters, with pictures on them. for quite some time now all one has really been able to find on the shelves has been plain, basic coloured lighters, so it was a particular delight to spot these.

why has it been so that lighters of a more exotic aesthetic have become so obscure? i do not know. my speculation, and this is pure conjecture, is that it is all to do with the strange idea they had to get rid of all colourful branding off of cigarettes, forcing them to be sold in a rather dull identical shade. let me assure you, if only from my perspective, that it wasn't the pretty colours on the box which did it for me and cigarettes, although i do miss the iconic marlboro packaging.

provenance of these lighters? why, poundland of course, and yes indeed it was a case of the pack of three cost me £1. this is a most delightful throwback. back in the 80s, one could walk around town and see some earnest entrepreneurial type pitching to punters, offering to sell them three lighters for a quid. no, i did not do business with them at the time for i did not smoke then, but all the same the sight and sound of such recalls a fond memory.



let it be made clear that i am no linguistical pioneer, but as far as i can ascertain it is certainly probable, indeed maybe probable, that these lighters were made with the intention of being sold to a decidedly german market. actually i have a good friend who is (tres) (or perhaps even uber) good with words and that, so maybe i should ask them to translate this text. but, perhaps they will read this and let me know, if they feel that they should.

that does seem like an awful lot of instructions, guidance, indicators and warning labels for a cigarette lighter, does it not? my favourite symbol is totes the one which warns of how a cigarette lighter is flammable, followed by the one which appears to give every suggestion that they (cigarette lighters) are not suitable toys for children and should not be given to babies. perhaps you have your very own favourite, which is excellent if so.

being intended for the german (or germanic), or wider bavarian market makes a lot of sense. this is for a couple of reasons, with the most obvious (and overt) being that The King, Elvis Presley features in a bold, stark way on one of them. it is known that He, The King, Elvis Presley, visited germany, one of the few countries that it is known He travelled to. to get there he stopped off in scotland, which has given the scottish a (rightful) sense of entitlement ever since. one unsubstantiated claim is that He also visited london, but no documentation exists for this, just (admittedly compelling) testimony.



you might look at the kid galahad lighter and consider that this was hardly the most iconic role played by The King, Elvis Presley at the movies, but for germans it probably was. high on the list of requirements for anything by germans is an admiration and embracing of efficiency. so, for them, kid galahad probably is an iconic film, for in it He, The King, Elvis Presley plays a boxer who can also sing. also, charles bronson out of death wish is in it, which is a plus.

any other examples of germans embracing an acute sense of efficiency in entertainment preferences? of course. you really don't need to look further than the hoff, david hasselhoff. being completely sh!t at acting and being totally sh!t at singing was, for some reason, the consummate win for germans, and they thus embraced him to the extent that he healed their entire nation. steven seagal (or however you spell it) is probably quite popular there too. not only does he sing and act, but his film roles always display strikingly versatile efficiency. he can play either a biochemist who is good at knacking people, or a buddhist monk who is good at knacking people, or even a chef that is really good at knacking people.

well, anyway, if i am sat here writing all of this then i am not off, out there, using these lighters. that simply must not be. so, i shall more or less leave this here. for the other two lighters, i have every confidence that you can consider casablanca and indeed rebel without a cause from your own perspectives.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





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