it feels like quite some time (or a fair bit of, look you see) since i gave anyone particularly (bewilderingly) interested an update on my current shampoo use. my plight, as it happens. yes, once again i have been struggling to find one which is both agreeable and effective.
this was not always the case, and should not be now. for many years we, i, were able to get on with a general standard of shampoo, until the late 80s. at that point it was that a blessing came in the form of Jason Donovan, who taught (or instructed) us in his ways of using shampoo what has lemon in it. everyone with any ounce of sense followed his path, and those of us who did had amazing hair, all thanks to (if i may be so informal) Jase.
but then for no given or real reason they took the lemon infused shampoo away from us. no, it was not that "something better" came along, for there is no documentary evidence of Jason Donovan ever announcing that he had found an even better shampoo. if one goes down to the shops - any shop - and consults the shampoo section, there one shall find shampoos with a bewildering range of objects and items thrust into them, all unified by a common condition of not being lemon.
where this leaves me, then, is in a position of having to randomly try various shampoos in the ragged and desperate hope that they will make my hair as awesome as it was when only the very finest of shampoos laced with lemon touched it. results, as regular readers of post such as this shall be all to aware, are seldom positive. it is almost as if the shampoo sector (or some shady government department applying pressure on them) wants me and everyone to have completely sh!t and unacceptable via the denial of lemon laced products.
for my latest adventure (foray) into non-lemon shampoo, i have selected not one, not three, but two different types. well, yes, ok, sure, you can see three bottles in these pictures. i just left the exhausted bottle of "banana" shampoo in for fun. that was bad, that one. whereas it had a nice smell of banana milkshake, and was a lovely shiny yellow, it was terrible, leaving my hair most crass and vulgar. as you can very clearly see in the above Commodore 64 mode image, and the (the shame) "regular" image below, i have gone for what claims to be a hemp loaded shampoo, and also one what reckons that it has extract of blueberries (presumably the fruit and not the once popular and much loved type of phone) in it.
quite, yes, the (ahem) "hemp" one is a bit of a controversial choice. hemp, as you may well be aware, is the posh way of saying either cannabis or marijuana without using those terms. strange that they would use the rather obvious leaf of such and yet use the distracting name, but no matter. in truth it was less that which attracted me (honest) than it was the colour. that really shiny, bright, glowing, nuclear waste like proud green struck me as being a homage to that 'Slimer' ghost out of Ghostbusters, so i thought why not.
one interesting element to this is that hair is where they are most likely to check on you for any possible recreational use of "hemp" variations. for some reason (i know i sound like one but i am not a scientist. yes, i dabble in biology and am a rather keen, enthusiastic and occasional gynaecologist, but not an official proper qualified science dude) your hair is where your explicit use of "hemp" in a smoking sense lingers the longest, so that is where they check. presumably, then, anyone who has given reason for the authorities to check their hair for any such use will be buying this shampoo, so they can claim that it is giving the sense of a presence of it and not any smoking.
my rudimentary understanding is that someone somewhere discovered, or had the idea, that cannabis can fix (or cure) absolutely anything at all that is wrong with anything at all, hence the drive to both make it legal and shove it into as many products as they can. how i dearly wish these people would now say "except for hair, cannabis does nothing for it, only lemon does, so please go back to shoving lemon into shampoo". or maybe i should just plan to make a visit to Fortnum and Mason. such an establishment of sophistication and class shall surely have clung to the traditions of lemon shampoo.
the thinking behind the "extract" of blueberry shampoo? i would like to say something along the lines of how blueberries are the lemon of the berry word, but i suspect they are not. no, that one came down to the fact that i rather liked the blue shade of it, and that massive bottle was a mere 80p,
so far, at time of writing, i have not used either of these shampoos. but, well, i have every confidence that they will be somewhere between acceptable and rubbish, and that overall my feeling is that not one of them does the excellent job what lemon shampoo used to do.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment