well, there is a bit of a clue as to what sort of content you will find here in this post right there in the title, look you see. it is not a clever or witty play on words, or rather word, to be sure. that is really what you will find here. you have, as it were, been warned, or given fair notice.
for those who prefer some sort of form of visual warning by which they decide if they carry on at their own risk or read on, well, fine. here is a picture of some bunnies. do be warned, for after that we reach the business end of the subject of urinals.
sometimes things just exist which do not prompt any thought or consideration. they are matters which exist purely for functional purposes, are accepted as such and everyone just moves on. it would be entirely reasonable to suggest (or assume) that urinals would very much fit in to this bracket. not so, it seems, not so. out there is someone what very much overthought the purpose, the aesthetics and the reason for a urinal, which led to them overdesigning it.
recently, for my sins, i travelled to that place where one should not go if at all possible to avoid. that is to the south, with south being defined as anywhere lower (in every possible sense) than Yorkshire. little of goodwill and much of ill is all that generally exists that way.
actually, in fairness my trip to the strange place was really rather good. during my visit, out of necessity i once or twice was compelled to make use of various bathroom facilities. on one such instance of this i was confronted with the below.
yes. these, i eventually worked out, are what qualify as or meet the criteria for urinals down in a place which is down in that south place. quite unexpected, really, and i must admit it took me a while to register in my mind that yes, those really were where they expected me to expel bodily fluids, to urinate or if you like to just go for a p!ss.
why. just, why, really. for what reason is it that someone felt that a urinal was not fine as it was, that it required some avant garde, post modernist artistic reimagining? really, it did not. the thing only needs to be functional and there to use.
the only reason i could think of for them urinals being all designer fancy la-de-dah was to provide patrons - gentlemen - using them with an ice breaking conversation starter. as i have never, ever had reason to start a conversation with someone whilst making use of a urinal, this is not something it is appropriate for me to comment on. with that being the case, i consulted Spiros.
several of you more regular readers will be all too familiar with my great friend Spiros. when not being the greatest legal mind of his generation, or out fighting insolent taxi drivers, usually he can be found in public bathrooms designated for use by the gentry, making short term but mutually beneficial friendships with like minded men. often (but not always) in uniform.
in his infinite generosity and kindness, Spiros agreed to pass comment. he made it most clear, in no uncertain nor debatable terms, that his preference was for no-nonsense, functional, proper urinals. quite like this one pictured below.
for him, this is where it is all at. by all, and by that i mean his, accounts, this is the only conversation piece a gentleman needs. one simply needs to stand, or if you like loiter, here and wait for a like minded chap to snuggle up next to you. when they do, you can either form a short term yet mutually beneficial friendship, or you can express a wish not to pursue such. Spiros says the way he does the latter is by angling it so that he does a little bit of wee wee on them.
as it happens, Spiros says that these days, or at least of late, he is making more friends (short term basis, etc) in elevators (lifts) than he is in bathrooms or general lavatory facilities. to this end, so to speak, he has sent me a video. one which you should watch only after being warned it is naughty. so this is a warning, and the below scrolling text is a warning.
right, this is your final warning, do not click on the video below unless you mean it.
Spiros said that i have to make it quite clear that it was not him what did that graffiti or vandalism, but he did give every indication that he wished to have thought to have done such himself.
let us be honest here, there is nothing more i can say on this subject that you wouldn't know if you are interested in this sort of thing.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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