whenever i see an object for sale that catches my eye, my first instinct invariably is to think of as to how it could be used as a conduit to pay homage to Vernon Wells. it is my understanding that i am not alone in this thought process, look you see, for my assumption is that most of the population of most of the known world have precisely the same reaction.
of late, i confess, i have been rather slack with such thoughts. last October was when i previously had an object which could be used in celebration of Vernon Wells, the rather magnetic details of which can be found by clicking here. time, then, to ensure that i am showing the correct, acceptable level of respect for the man.
it was during the course of some routine, rudimentary shopping that i saw sets of "frame keyrings" for sale. they looked instantly like they would be a most splendid way to convey images of Vernon Wells in all two of his key (excuse the play on words) iconic roles. and so i made the purchase, and set about some fancy printing.
yes, indeed, quite desirable items i have crafted there. the pricing of these keyrings (blank, and not with Vernon Wells images in them) was also desirable, or if you like attractive. it cost only £1 for a set of three different ones. strangely, no, i did not buy these off of Poundland, despite the pricing giving every reasonable indication. Yorkshire Trading, i think. which is a nice touch, because in bringing Yorkshire and Vernon Wells together i have finally achieved the dream of a unification of two of the greatest things in the world, if not the two greatest.
the frames bit of each keyring is pretty easy to open up and assemble. one finds a little gap on the base of each frame, and if you insert a pin or the tip of a pen into it you can get it open easy enough to place your cut to size images in. no, of course i did not use a pin or a pen. as these were for celebrating Vernon Wells it would have been disrespectful to use anything but my most massive knife to open them up. well, most massive knife that happened to be on my penknife, and was also of a size making it possible to fit into the gap.
a closer look at the actual frames, with the standard stock photographs in them, placed purely for display and illustrative purposes? sure, why not.
oh i agree, those stock photographs are splendid, showing a rather happy, wholesome family scene. i would suspect that more than a few have bought these picture frame keyrings and just left the stock images in, so that they may go about their business and just pretend that they are familiar with, or somehow related to, the models and actors pictured.
but no, that is not me, and that is not my way. also, it is not my way to put pictures of my own family in such frames. i would, i suppose, if Vernon Wells did not exist, for if he did not, then there would be no reason to celebrate him. thankfully, however, he does, and so i do.
yes, i have indeed selected all both of the most iconic roles of Vernon Wells to use in the keyrings. i hardly need tell anyone this, but those roles are of course those of Wez, the homoerotic maniac out of Mad Max 2 (or The Road Warrior if you are one of them Americans), and Bennett, the homoerotic maniac out of Commando. more pictures were used of the latter rather than the former purely because i happened to have more pictures of that role at hand when i got all excited and made these.
if i were ever to meet Vernon Wells, are there any questions i would ask of him? actually, yes. quite often i have wondered if Vernon had considered changing his name to "Vernon Welles", so that there would be a balance of vowels in his forename and surname. this lack of balance, or symmetry, in his name in all likelihood bothers me a good deal more than it bothers him, but you never know.
yes, i did have to cut quite carefully. no, i did not use a massive knife, just conventional scissors. i sort of traced an outline on the parts i wanted to cut out from some pictures i printed, using the stock photo in each keyring as a makeshift, or perhaps intended, template.
what have i done with the Vernon Wells keyrings? distributed them. several contemporaries of mine are blessed with a healthy level of respect for this fine Australian actor. granted, in some cases, i have assumed that they have this, but still. one associate of mine in particular will no doubt be very pleased with his, for he struggled somewhat with the concept of a magnet and made several futile attempts to attach it to some wood.
a look at the reverse, or if you like other, side of the magnets of Vernon Wells that i made? sure. if nothing else, these images will go some way to ensuring i secure the top search engine result on google and similar for anyone who searches for the keywords "Vernon Wells keyrings". unless someone has set up an empire selling them.
something of an obvious question here is whether or not i would consider sending a Vernon Wells keyring to Vernon Well(e)s himself. probably not. for a start, i do not have is address. even if i did, i suspect it would cost a lot of money to send it to him in Australia. and, when you think about it, spending a lot of money to send someone an image of themselves from the other side of the world would not, i dare suggest, be in keeping with the Vernon Wells way of doing things.
is it likely that i will make more keyrings? oh yes, but perhaps not all featuring Vernon Wells. there is every chance i shall decide to create one for Spiros, featuring David Lee Roth. or one for myself, for that matter, as i failed to retain one of the above three.
anyway, that's that. for now, at the least. undoubtedly the time ahead, as opposed to the time behind, shall allow me to find yet more most splendid ways to celebrate Vernon Wells. it is my most earnest hope that you stick around to see how.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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