Monday, January 07, 2019

a high wind in the trees, a cold sound in the air

hey there


i am aware of a quotation, look you see. not just any quotation, to be sure, but a quite fancy sounding one off of one of them philosopher type dudes. fancy sounding, indeed, but when you think about it one which simply states the (possibly bleedin') obvious.

anyway, the quote is something along the lines of "life must be lived forwards, but can only be understood backwards". yes, it sounds all clever and poignant and that, but since none of us know how much time we have, or what will happen with whatever period we have here on this particular planet, this is not as profound as the Welsh one out of the Manic Street Preachers who brought it to my attention might think it is.

no, ostensibly certainly i am aware that all of the Manic Street Preachers are Welsh, but you know the one i mean. the really or uber Welsh one off the band. more on that later, if i remember. but for now, to get to the point, the relevance of the fancy philosopher quote to this post is that if one doesn't know exactly when the end point of life is, then one truly cannot be sure as and when they are having a so-called "mid-life crisis".

which all makes it tricky, perhaps even a bit of a bugger, to understand or otherwise contextualise my recent decision to purchase a can of lynx (axe) apollo deodorant as being either a symptom of me having a midlife crisis or some other sort of matter for concern.



this is not, of course, my first experience with lynx apollo. i have purchased this particular make and model before, and did not particularly care for it. as a deodorant it kind of serves a purpose, but the scent is not really all that enthralling. curious, then, that lynx (axe) elected to call this "apollo", as it would strike me that this is not a suitable, fitting or respectful tribute to any of the well known people, projects, deities or what have you which one would normally associate with the name Apollo.

now that i think, for what reason is it that whoever makes lynx (axe) decided to name any of their produce after a concept so complex as Apollo? as per previous reviews of this lynx business, the main purpose or point of all lynx deodorants is that it is used by feral, rather unsavoury teenage types to attract a mate for breeding purposes. people, you would argue, of an age, social class and educational level that would care not for any of the incarnations of Apollo.

so yes, then, midlife crisis. am i in the midst of one, i wonder? probably not, in truth, for as i have established in previous posts according to science i am immortal, what with a lack of evidence of an empirical scientific nature that i can die or otherwise be killed. should i be here forever, well, then, there is not really going to be any "middle bit" for a crisis or anything else, is there?



on the off chance that i am not, as point of fact immortal - let me dare to say the lack of scientific evidence does not matter and i shall take it on faith that i can indeed die - then there is every chance that i am in the middle part, heading towards the business end. which may well go some way towards explaining why, as illustrated above, i appear to have ended up as part of the cocktails brigade.

so anyway, there i was, stood in one of them supermarket things, before the altar what the supermarket proprietor had designated as being for the celebration of deodorants. i dismissed the concern that i am not a feral teenager and set about selecting a can of it. despite several variations of it that i actually like (well, two) being available, for some inexplicable reason i found myself internally vocalising "yeah, go on then, i fancy some Apollo for a change". as my arm protruded to pick up a can and place it in my shopping basket i had a sense that i was doing wrong, but i proceeded anyway.

did i mention to Spiros that i had apparently joined the cocktail brigade? yes, in passing. he was tremendously excited about it, and with some enthusiasm proceeded to state that he had some rather splendid cocktails to share with me. it was not, believe me, all that long into the conversation that it transpired Spiros had heard "cocktails" as "cock tales". unfortunately i cannot share with you any of the details of the subsequent conversation, but i can assure it was all rather exciting.



indeed, Spiros enthusiasts, that above is - unless i am mistaken - the first picture of Spiros for 2019 to be showcased here. a heavily censored or edited one for security reasons, to be sure, but nonetheless a most splendid image. what is he up to here? something something peninsula, something something nuclear proliferation, something something negotiated disarmament, something something Korea. oh yes, don't you worry, he will be making a pile of coins of money off of it.

any lingering regrets about my decision to purchase a tin or if you like can of lynx apollo? my understanding would be that this post exists purely to expunge or otherwise address those regrets; to face them and try to make sense of it all. just what the devil, what the bloody hell, for goodness sake what on earth was i thinking?

to make matters worse - or better - i took a decision to wear / use the vast majority of this can of lynx apollo in an area of England, or the wider United Kingdom, known as the black country. further, i combined its use with some "new" hair gel what i got off of Poundland; one that they advertised and promoted as being either used in or "of" London.



a certain element still exists within marketing and advertising circles (actually squares) that believes referring to something as being "the London" or "of London" makes it, in the mind of consumers, superior and better to all others. yeah, sure. whilst there is much of merit to, from, and about London, let us not forget some things. like, for instance, their inability to elect a decent mayor. or the fact that London black cab drivers prefer you not to pay your fare in any combination of Euros, Scottish Bank Notes or Northern Irish Bank Notes. believe me, try the latter and just see what happens.

how does the gel perform? not so bad, as you will see in the very next picture. appearance wise it is rather suspect, though. it is a purplish concoction, far too explicit to publish here as it looks like the secretions or other such discharges what might be made by a fiendish alien sexual beast off one of them space movies.

well, with little else to say, and there being every chance that you are quite excited by the promise of the above, here you go - a picture of the hair gel in action. and yes, another brave venture into the world of cocktails.



oh yes, that whole Manic Street Preachers and Welsh and philosophers thing. actually, i did have something to say further about it in mind, but i cannot recall what it was. never mind, i suppose if you really wanted to know you could listen to a couple of their albums and see if you can't work out whatever observation it was i was contemplating.

it would be highly unlikely that i shall purchase or obtain any further cans of lynx apollo. my hope, perhaps aspiration, is that this whole sorry episode has now got whatever it is that was in my system about it well and truly out of my system. but, you never know. should i for some reason by another can of it, i will do everything i can to let you know.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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