we prick you

hello once more


nothing much really, look you see, just yet another of them scam warnings. again, no, i am not an expert in safety and security, but i do believe in passing on what you know. many, if not most, of the problems in this world stem from everyone assuming that what they know is known by all. this is not the case, and making such an assumption leads to many a misunderstanding.

anyway, onwards with this, and a rather unwelcome return of that most intrusive of "scam span", the text message.

my first thought when this gem (not really a gem) landed was "oh, that's weird, as my service provider has been doing what they are supposed to, along with all the others, and stopping this sh!t". but, one plucky, intrepid criminal sort played the odds and won, resulting in this landing.

oh goody, i most decidedly did not think, how nice. my "Mobile No" has been selected as a "winner", has it now? fancy!

this is of course complete rubbish. what happens is the mastermind behind it sets up a computer system to generate thousands of numbers which follow the pattern of providers in the UK. this text message then gets fired off with gay abandon, and the criminals behind it simply wait for someone to respond. i have no doubt at all that anyone who responds will be asked to provide their banking details so that this "Euro-Mega Draw" can be paid into their account, and then find that their account has been wiped out.

indeed i have taken the liberty of blanking out the number, and the email address where you could write to and find out how to give all your money away. on that note, i guess someone has worked a way around Google's supposedly much tougher than ever ways of preventing fake accounts.

should you get rubbish like this arriving on your phone, the best thing to do is delete it. another thing to do would be to call your service provider with the details, and then kick off a bit at them, asking how and why such nonsense is still allowed.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

relocation to phony homelands

hello again


just one of them peculiarities sort of posts, look you see, showing off something that has come my way. and what has come my way this time is something of a blast from the past, since such is not really possible (so far as we are aware) from the future.

no, let's not do another time / space thing here. instead, let me put you in the picture, let me show you what i mean.

yes, as you no doubt worked out from the title, and indeed the picture above, a Sun City branded cigarette lighter. one that had not been used for some ten or so years, or if you will a decade, but remains in perfect functioning order.

with smoking being increasingly unpopular, and the target of blame for anything wrong in the world, i suppose that not many places bother to brand cigarette lighters with a view to selling them to tourists. that's a little bit sad, i guess, as it is a tradition going somewhere it is unlikely to return from.

how is Spiros, you ask, and has he been taking any train rides at the same time as what some revolutionaries have?

quite, yes, it seems he has in respect of the latter questions. as for how he is, well i assume he is ok, i don't ask but i have heard from him and he seemed fine.

anyway, back to the lighter. rather smart it is, and perfectly functioning. which it jolly well wants to be, dear reader, considering the price it was sold for.

there is no error there, yes, they really did sell these for R29 each. that's crazy, when you consider that you can get 4, 5 or 6 for £1 off of Poundland. sure, the Poundland ones don't have Sun City written on them, but when it comes to cigarette lighters, you have to ask am i buying this for what is written on it or am i buying it for its intended purpose?

anyway, i really can't think of much else to say about this lighter, so we shall call it a day.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

celebrating Vernon Wells through the medium of magnets

g'day


something quite exciting happened recently. well, maybe not exciting as such, look you see, but all the same a matter what got me all most pleased and happy. i was out shopping, as opposed to being in and doing so "online", and stumbled upon something called magnetic photo paper. with it being priced at all of £1 for a packet of two sheets (or if you like 50p per sheet, packaging free presumably), i figured why not get some and have a go with it.

what did i do with it first? let us be perfectly honest about it. as and when mankind has devised a new medium for artistic expression, the first instinct has always, always been to create something of a decidedly erotica content and nature to it.

having done that, and got it all out of my system and certainly not sharing it here, i progressed to the second perfectly natural thing to do with any new form of medium via which one may express artistic ambitions. this was, of course, as you hardly need me to tell you, to celebrate the magnificence of Vernon Wells.

i, in truth, must be quite careful here. my understanding would be that Vernon Wells is one of the best known people of all seven (or so) billion currently living on it, and thus any introduction to him from me would be a complete waste of time. but, that said, sometimes my understanding of certain things proves not to be as accurate as it could, and it is entirely possible - even if only due to a momentary lapse - that some of you could be quite uncertain as to who exactly Vernon Wells is.

the way forward, then, is to give an introduction to Vernon Wells here. a brief, short, quasi executive summary version of this is that he is quite possibly Australia's greatest ever actor, and this could also be said on a more global accounting system. legendary is the only way to describe his versatility. whether called on to play a decidedly homoerotic, leather wearing post apocalyptic scary psychopath in Mad Max 2 or to play a decidedly homoerotic, chainmail wearing, Freddie Mercury tribute moustached scary psychopath in Commando, Vernon Wells delivers. i have no doubt this is true of all his other no doubt fantastic performances, but i cannot think of them except Weird Science.

so, then, yes. you can see quite clearly why celebrating Vernon Wells via any sort of medium would strike one as being a very good idea. to be honest, and i do always strive to be so here, the person what invented magnetic photo paper probably only did so in order that people may use it for images of Vernon Wells, as soon as they had got magnet of erotica ideas all out of their system.

above is one of the images i took off one of Vernon Wells' greatest performance to use on a magnet. that is indeed him as Bennett out of Commando. this is indeed one of the moments in the film where he sneers in a quite scary, somewhat homoerotic in tone way at some matter or other relevant to the plot.  everything about Vernon's performance in the film screams that the writers and producers of Commando were convinced that Freddie Mercury would be cast as Bennett, and then when he wasn't they turned to Australia's finest to come in and do a tribute act to Freddie in portraying the role, right at the last minute.

this seems absurd to say, but if for some reason you have not ever seen Commando then i suggest you cease reading this, if momentarily, and go and watch it. one of the most inspirational and impressive cinematic works of all time. from what i recall my first encounter with the magnificence of the film came via my Dad procuring a dodgy copy of it off of some oil rig workers he knew, on Betamax. a mate of his had talents beyond mine and could convert it from that format to VHS, and it was a film what i held regular, after school screenings of for mates and, well, anyone that wanted to watch what at the time felt like the greatest movie to be ever made, ever.

some of you might, wrongly, be more interested in the mechanisms and dynamics of the magnetic photo paper itself, rather than the correct use of it as a means of paying homage and celebration to and of Vernon Wells. for those of you here for such, very well then, i shall indulge.

quality wise and value for money, i can assure you that this magnetic photo paper is excellent. but of course, the success depends on the quality of your printer, the images what you use and your skill in cutting the magnetic paper down to size. although yes, briefly, i did consider just making massive A4 size magnetic photo paper images of Vernon Wells, thus removing the need to cut.

if you are wondering whether or not it's worth getting some of this magnetic photo paper for your own images, my answer is yes it is. thus far i have found myself buying extra sheets whenever i am near somewhere that has it, stockpiling it for any such artistic expression which may come to mind that i believe would be best suited to being magnetic in respect of presentation.

now, then, on to what i would consider to be the greatest and most celebrated role ever undertaken by Vernon Wells, that of Wez in Mad Max 2.

this was no doubt and with no argument the most complex, difficult, demanding and challenging role what any actor could have been presented with. he, with the he being Vernon Wells, faced down all of this and delivered a performance what can only be described as a triumph. of particular note was the special trousers what Vernon Wells wore for the part, resplendent as they were with some quite remarkable arse flaps.

much as with Commando, it would be my understanding that all of you would have seen Mad Max 2 prior to reading this, or at the least reading this far. if not, go and watch it, now. for the sake of completeness, my first encounter with the film would probably have been in Australia, where it was made and where i was at the time. usually yes, Australians take pride in all that they do, but with this film they took extra pride. rightly so, too. this remains a masterpiece of cinema, and one i believe it is all but law for Australians to watch and admire and promote as showing how excellent Australians are at making smart films.

what am i planning on doing with these Vernon Wells celebration magnets? sending them on to some friends. that will probably have been done with these by the time you read this. after that, well, who knows, perhaps i shall make further ones. no, i have no idea if they will also feature Vernon Wells, or if for now i feel that i have expressed my celebration of him enough with these.

is there any possibility of me making more and exploiting them for financial gain? slight, i guess. the idea of making more and selling them is appealing as it would no doubt be quite lucrative. but, also, it would feel wrong, as they are not officially endorsed by Vernon Wells. although he has a fine name and reputation for being great with his fans, one rather suspects that this would come to an abrupt halt should an admirer exploit his work for their own personal gain.

but still, you know. i might get away with it, if no one alerts him or he doesn't notice. also, even if he did find out, i might get a cease and desist letter off his lawyers, or even Vernon Wells turning up at my house to give me a good kicking, telling me to stop. there is some appeal in such.

well, anyway, there you have it. my expectation is that all of this will have been of some considerable interest, meaning there is no need for me to express a hope that someone out there has liked this.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first world problems

howdy pop pickers


so, you know how it is. one gets home from verk, look you see, and discovers an email which heralds the best of times and, possibly, the worst of times. what's the fancy posh word for something that is good and is bad? is it bittersweet or similar?

yes, then, Ian Brown is a man of his word. back in 2011 when The Stone Roses announced their return, he assured the people that his solo career was not over, simply "parked". out of the garage it is, then.

indeed, i came home to one of them "email" things informing me that i, right now, could purchase the new solo single off of Ian Brown, First World Problems. and so i did.

my thoughts? instantly on hearing it i thought "this is Movin On Up" by Primal Scream,. but done on a Moog or similar. i mean, yes, it's a rather decent tune, and it's always good (for me and hopefully for you) to hear something off of Ian Brown, but successive plays have given every indication that Ian Brown recently played Movin On Up by Primal Scream and said to himself "i will have some of that, to be sure".

an inevitable question concerning the (welcome and splendid) return of Ian Brown in solo form is going to be what of The Stone Roses? is that "it" again, or are they simply now "parked" in the garage what his solo career was. whereas it's not fair that his solo career should be overshadowed by a band he was in, let us not forget he was in The f****** Stone Roses. i am pretty confident he is used to it.

whereas it seems, for another year at the least, my dream of Christmas With The Stone Roses by The Stone Roses being released will not happen, bring forth 2019, i say, with particular emphasis on March 1. yes, i dare say you shall find me in HMV that day, around 9am or whenever they open.

undoubtedly there is good reason for the name of the album, Ripples, but my immediate thought, i must confess, was that he wished to call it Nipples. and why not.

any chance that this is a Stone Roses album masquerading as an Ian Brown solo release? no. the press release notes, etc, all say that it's him and him alone on the majority of the instruments, with some family members being part of it.

should you, like me, wish to buy this new single, First World Problems, off you go to the Ian Brown website for links. alas, a "digital download" only; a shame as a 7" single would have been smart with that artwork.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is somewhat peculiar

hello


just like many a modern parent in this modern age i, look you see, have children what like all them Space Invaders type computer game things. these are, to be sure, all quite different from my era of such things, or if you like "when i were a lad".

back in the days when i played away on such superb machines as the Commodore 64 or the Sega one went to the shops, bought the tape or disc or cartridge of the game, and got on with with. yes, for clarification, my brother was all about the ZX Spectrum and Nintendo, so i have had exposure to them.

not so. these days one either gets a game "for free" (Fortnite) or pays a substantial, well north of £70 (FIFA 19) amount of cash for the game, gets a download rather than a nice disc or shiny box, and then is encouraged to throw even more and more money at the game for "download content" and what have you.

in a sense this is quite a clever (genius, maybe) way of selling you the same thing again and again. and again. just as the music and film industry like to resell you the same items again, promising "newly remastered" versions of things you have, sometimes paired with extras you have no need for, the games industry has clocked that you can easily get players (or the parents of) to fork out cash for stuff on a game what they have already bought.

but, as you can see in the above, they have got a bit cheeky. actually you may have to click on the image to make it bigger to see in the above. and yes, if you can see that all as it should be, between Amazon and Microsoft they are indeed - presumably with a smirk hidden behind a straight face - attempting to charge me £13.80 to procure £12 of whatever it is the boys spend on this Fortnite or FIFA business.

yes, indeed, i went off and did some research. i thought it would be interesting to see if this somewhere in the vicinity of 15% extra charge applied across the board. with respect to the £15 voucher, no it did not. fancy that.

what exactly do the boys spend this money on? i have tried to pay attention to it all as i have a genuine interest in both what they do and where my hard earned (well sort of hard earned) coins go, but a lot of it tends to fly over my head. from what i can work out, money spent on Fortnite lets you buy some costumes for your little computer fella on the game, and also lets you purchase dance moves. on that FIFA thing the money lets you buy a kind of "virtual card" that lets your players play better, or gives you players, or some other such thing of that nature.

now then, there's the peculiar part. like me you may have thought that you only get the face value of what you pay for higher amounts, but no. above it shows that if you give Amazon and Microsoft £10 you get a £10 credit or whatever it is called. so, for some reason it is only the value of £12 that Amazon and / or Microsoft have an issue or quarrel with, shoving some 15% on to the price to deal with it.

the abiding, overriding instinct is, of course, to tell someone or other to f*** right off with this approach to pricing. indeed, this would be because i only needed £12 to secure or otherwise procure whatever it was the boys wanted, but to get correct value i either had to spend £15 or 2 lots of £10 and then have extra. a problem is that i have no idea if this peculiar pricing on the £12 is down to Microsoft or Amazon, or both of them. as i would not wish to swear at the innocent party (if there is one) by accident, i suppose i shall have to refrain from such a course and simply write all about it here.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, if it's on the internet it must be true.......

heya


just another one of them sort of "public service" posts, look you see, or if you like, to be sure. whilst i am no expert in what all of this is about, i do seem to know a bit more than others. should one not share what they know, then that is simply lost.

and what this is all about is yet another of them very fake "pop up" things what happen when using (driving?) a computer across the information superhighway known as the internet. i tend to see them every now and then, but this one caught my eye. also, i was short of something to write here.

look, and pay attention. you may have to click on the picture below to make it legible. by all means do so, if you are interested.

now at a glance this might seem "legit". there are, however, many telltale signs it's not real. for a start, the font for Windows is incorrect, and there is no such company as Windows - it would be Microsoft. also, look at the domain names (or web address) - might not Microsoft or "Windows" use a domain in their own name, rather than a sketchy sounding one?

should you get this and call the telephone number provided (i have not blanked it out, feel free to call them and hurl abuse or whatever), one of two things will happen. either they will ask for your card or banking details to pay the fee to "unblock" your computer, or they will request access to your PC, install something which they shall tell you is meant to "remove the block" but will actually harvest all the information on your PC in the hope of finding banking or other such financial information.

if this pops up, how do you get rid of it? quite simple. click "cancel" on that pop up screen, then close down the window. if it gets stubborn, you can simply run something called "task manager". to get to it you can either press Control, Alt & Delete and select it from what pops up, or right click over the toolbar (the bit at the bottom of your screen where the Windows start button is, just click in a blank section) and select "start task manager". you will see it running there in programs, just select it and press "end now" or similar.

anyway, hope this is of some use to someone somewhere. remember, worst case with a computer and stuff like this, simply pull the plug from the wall........


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, however will i cope?

hello there


one of the most interesting aspects of our (fairly) modern society here in England is the proliferation of the use of the word "could", look you see. this is invariably done in association with that thing called 'Brexit', and even more invariably (if such is possible) done so in as negative a way as possible.

a great many people are quite upset with the whole Brexit thing, to be sure. which is fair enough, for it is quite something to deal with when things don't go your way. certain corners are, however, going full tilt on this upset, spreading stories of doom and gloom, all justified by saying "it could happen". well, yes, anything, i suggest, could happen. with anything. but that is not to say that it will. or, indeed, won't.

the most interesting of these stories to come along of late struck a particular note with me. according to someone or other, and you can read all about it by clicking here for the BBC story, as and when (when) Brexit happens, the - get this - warning labels on fags will have to change, for the current ones are the intellectual property of the EU. .

wow. really? it would be nice if this meant that we could just go back to proper cigarette packets, but apparently we will have the "Australian system" in place, whatever that is exactly.

good riddance, i say. the warnings do not bother me in the slightest and, as per numerous previous posts, they would appear to be ever so slightly racist. and that is actual, not modern day definition. why? well, all of images used on these cigarette warning things are very decidedly white. quite amazed that our modern, with it and progressive press have not picked up on this, and further asked why it is so. do they think that it is only white people what smoke, or is it that they only want to warn / scare off white people? i am certain members of other ethnic groups smoke.

perhaps our brave new warnings will reflect the bold, multicultural and diverse dynamics of British life, then. but probably not.

yes, of course, should i, or for that matter Brexit, make it that far, then i have every intention of bringing you news of the new warnings when they come, and how i am coping with them.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a reversal of fortune

heya


this, i know, shall all be me late to the party, look you see. at first i had thought to have stumbled upon something curious, but then when i considered the matter some more i recalled that what is on offer here was, for the most part, covered pretty well by others at the time.

i would really rather suspect that the crystal clarity of the above means you know exactly what i am talking about. should for some reason that not, as point of fact, be the case, well then of course, yes, this indeed is to do with me getting my hands on one of them celebrated 'Twin Peaks' chocolate bar things off of Poundland.

for those (possibly blissfully) unaware of the great controversy, a little while ago Poundland announced the introduction of their twin peaks chocolate bar. no, it seems not to be based on or "inspired by" either the splendid TV series (despite certain font similarities) or for that matter the equally splendid adult film actress of this name. rather, then, the name is apparently due to being inspired by two hills or other, the names of which escape me.

the makers of that tourist trap chocolate, toblerone, were having none of this. it was them what observed a similarity, either passing or more than passing, to their apparently quite famous design. as i recall it all there was a minor legal scuffle about it, but eventually the courts clearly wished for the Poundland to sell whatever chocolate they wished to, in whatever shape and with whatever ingredients.

i do remember, now, that this was quite big news at the time. well, we have a tendency to take our chocolate quite seriously here in England. at the time, though, i did not pursue purchasing a bar. this was partially due to the fact that Poundland announced only "limited quantities" would be made and sold, and i had no wish to be part of a mad scramble for them. mostly, though, it was all due to the fact that i am not all that keen on toblerone chocolate, be it the real deal or a similar bar. very few that i know actually are, but we will get to that, but first this.

we are indeed moving towards an understanding of why this particular post is called what it is, which is a reversal of fortune, if you missed it. look, and observe, how this particular tide now turns. in earlier posts i have lamented how posh biscuits, such as Club and Viscount, have now fallen to the level of the preserve of the proletariat, with their cheaper pricing making them accessible to all. a certain level of common sense has evidently prevailed, then, and both the manufacturers and retailers of Viscount are inflating the price by some 400%. even if this is artificially, it is for the best.

the interesting part here, of course, is the whole "balance", the "ying and yang" end of it all. or is it yin and yang? anyway. if we take it as a given that we are meant to interpret these twin peaks bars as being an accessible format of toblerone, how that price has fallen when Viscount has risen.

once, you see, you couldn't really get the toblerone in England. as our superior chocolates were available everywhere, there was no particular reason for any proprietor to waste valuable shelf space with a lesser, more expensive one. unfortunately this generated the idea that toblerone was somehow elusive, posh and desirable. which meant that people on holiday abroad picked up bars of the stuff for relatives and what have you, believing themselves to be bringing a great and most precious treasure.

so is this twin peaks chocolate any good? not really. well, the boys seem to quite like it. for me, though, it was substantially enough "like" toblerone, or however you actually spell it, to feel more or less the same way about it. but, due to the name, and the fact that the boys like it, i may purchase more.

anyway, no, i have had a little think, and there is nothing else of interest i have to say on this subject. for the moment, at least, but you never know. should something concerning it come to mind, undoubtedly i will seek to share such words of it here.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suede - the blue hour

howdy pop pickers


well, what can i say. later, look you see, has apparently become "later" with regards to my thoughts, musings or if you will review of a day of release album what i nearly missed out on. in fairness, i did make some comments back during the week of release on this one; with this one being The Blue Hour by Suede.

not that it matters too much, but there is reason or two for the delay in writing. yes, true, much of the number of reasons i could offer are time constraints. but, overall, or whilst it may be small in the grand scheme of things it is important to me - i wished to gather my thoughts and write all of this as best as i could. that would be for one of two reasons. either i have been duped by one of the most brazen efforts of taking refuge in audacity or, as i would rather think to be the case, this is one of the "most important" (whatever that means) recorded albums to be made, certainly at least as far as meanderings in that direction in this century go.

and no, i am not what you would call a "Suede obsessive". for several years my thoughts on them ranged from "pretty good" to more or less not troubling to listen to them. it is only "now", as in the two or so / and a bit years since the superb Night Thoughts, that i have come to accept that they were there all along, whether i was aware or not, whether i wanted them or not.

if you have somehow got through that rather clumsy set of paragraphs then it is possible you'd want a brief sort of overview of the album before you decide whether you care to read on or not. well, in that regard it does what it says on the box - the record is just south of an hour long, and it is blue in tone.

this record is a "concept album" in its purest form. by that i mean perhaps a story is being told, maybe it isn't, but a thematic mood prevails across all of the music which leaves you with the inescapable sense of being informed. comparisons are tricky, and something that i say i try to avoid but end up doing. not in musical or lyrical style or content, then, but think of the apparent confessional nature of Marillion's Misplaced Childhood and the (all bar one song, Sidewinder) focus on loss across REM's Automatic For The People, then you kind of have the direction here. but, all very much with the voice, the emotions and not so much what you would expect but what you would accept as being the continuation of how and what Brett Anderson and Suede have to say.

musically, the orchestral works that have always appeared on Suede's albums unmistakably come to the fore. i suppose this is perhaps an extension of Night Thoughts, but mostly it would seem its required to achieve the quasi gothic, crisp (hello, Faye) English / British countryside as it experiences autumn into winter required so as to deliver the tone wanted. and, yes, it really works. very well.

yes, indeed, that is what was on the go in the window of HMV during the week of release of The Blue Hour by Suede. no, no promotion of either that record or much in the way of music, with them instead electing to celebrate - and encourage the purchase of - one of the poorest Star Wars films ever to be made. that there are no so many options for the title one now cannot easily just name the worst Star Wars film ever should, you would think, be setting alarm bells off somewhere, but that's not for this post.

earlier in this post i mentioned i wanted so much to get what i say right, and yet i cannot feel that this is a clumsy, meandering mess of trying to write it. inevitable, perhaps, but let me press on.

i am not sure what to say of the lyrics. here, across The Blue Hour, we feel very far removed from the hedonistic sex and drugs fuelled joys of, say, Animal Nitrate and Metal Mickey. there's many, many wonderful lines across the songs, but there's also no simplistic, instantly accessible and sheer pure pop classic stuff as the was in, for instance, Trash and The Beautiful Ones. further, as was (i think) the case with night Thoughts, we are all finally free of Brett using cellophane and plastic as metaphors.

but, here's the thing. all of The Blue Hour feels inexplicably informed by the examples i have given, and beyond. the best way i can think to describe it all is that 2018 Brett Anderson got to go back to 1993 Brett Anderson, tell him tales of the future, let that Brett Anderson go through one quarter of a century (!) informed by it all, touched by a sense of desolate loss rather than assured acceptance.

growing up, maybe, you might call all of that. and in listening to it, possibly for the third or forth time i do not recall which, i became increasingly aware of it being of relevance to me too. no, not something daft or "meta" like "gee, i think Brett is speaking directly to me here", rather more i all of a sudden became aware of how he, Suede, have soundtracked my life - maybe mapped better. going back 25 years, the hedonism, the impulses, the sex, the drugs, the rock and the roll, the quasi maturing, the ageing, the ups, the downs, the lower than down, the resilience, the wish to feel, the where are we now is we are here now.

well, i did make it clear that i was struggling to find the right words to say all that i wished to say of The Blue Hour, and it feels most decidedly like i have in fact not found them. but maybe i have, you know, if to someone somewhere out there any of the above makes the slightest bit of sense. hopefully at least one of you will work out what it is i am trying to say, and go right ahead and articulate it better.

this is of little relevance to what i am saying, and i know quoting he who i am about to quote is about the least fashionable thing in the world, but i always love to throw this one in when i can. off Brett Anderson, Morrissey (yes, that one) once said "he seems continuously angry at God for not making him Angie Bowie". for some reason this has never failed to make me smile and laugh; if anyone ever had said any such thing about me i'd wear that one as a badge of honour.

at the least, then, HMV gave "pride of place" to the Suede album in the theoretical music section of the store. apparently Suede was "trending" that week, and rather thankfully HMV remembered they are British and that Suede are British (London, actually, since legally in the USA they are called The London Suede), and so had their album sat above the big selling one off of the frequently retiring Eminem.

would HMV have encouraged any increased sales, for them and indeed (The London) Suede, if the record had been advertised in the window? perhaps. in retrospect, i am not certain that Suede are now a band that inspire impulse purchases when one strolls past a window and observes a new recording is available.

on that note, a "Smiths phenomenon" has befallen the album in the charts. for those unaware of this "Smiths phenomenon", well, it really goes back to the days when the charts were proper and based on sales alone, not "streams" or other free listens. anyway, what happened when The Smiths (back in the 80s) released a new record, be it single or album, the (we) fans rushed to buy it either on the day of release or during its first week of availability, wishing and wanting to hear it as soon as possible. this caused the record to crash into the upper (northern) end of the charts. but, then it seemed everyone who wanted the record had bought it, and so it crashed south and out of the charts the very next week. to this end, if i have observed correctly, The Blue Hour by Suede entered the charts at a respectable enough number 5 position, but by week 2 was out of the top 40. oh.

if i am right about this record - and let us hope i am - then time shall be kinder to this album that the charts appear to have been. the mood, the tone and sound all to me suggest this is the album one should have a listen to on one of those cold, long and frequently lonely nights of the northern hemisphere window. but just how many, like me, still consider a fine evening to be just to listen to music? as in, do it and just that, with no other distractions. perhaps the passion for that will return, and The Blue Hour will be appreciated for what its.

so, the short, quasi executive summary of all of this is give this album a try, for it is superb. bar something like my much hoped for Christmas With The Stone Roses by The Stone Roses coming out, this is surely going to end up being my "album of the year" as and when i get around to doing that sort of post.

if you have read all of this, thank you indeed for sticking with it and trying to work out what it is i am attempting to say...........



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i swear i found the key to the universe

hello there


one question that almost never ever gets asked of me, look you see, is the title of this blog. superstition is all we have left. not sure if i have ever mentioned before, but probably not since i cannot recall anyone ever asking. well, it's just a line i like off of a song by the Manic Street Preachers, with the song in question being the superb, criminally not released as a single at a time when singles mattered still 1985.

since we are on the subject of superstition, then (play along), i have recently gained the power to know answers to the great mysteries. yes, i have procured, purchased or otherwise obtained one of those "see the future" devices known as the Magic 8 Ball.

quite why a billiard or snooker ball commonly used in the game of pool would be adopted as the conduit to reveal the mysteries and the secrets of life is something i do not know. but, let us go with it. everyone's got to believe in something, right?

a mere £2.99 this was, then, to be sure. you would think that such power would be priced out of the hands of the proletariat, even if only artificially. perhaps it is reverse psychology, then, with the ruling classes making this so cheap in price that the common folk mistake it for a novelty, and assume it cannot possibly be true or work or have power for such a lowly, affordable fee.

i have wanted to get one of these for a while now. however, i forgot, or simply had not seen one. why would me or anyone want such power? well, because David Thorne used a similar device to much humorous effect when responding to some verk related emails.

whereas i would advise you to get the books what he wrote and published, every now and then his own experiments with the mystical powers of the Magic 8 Ball feature on his website, found by clicking these words right here. yes, he is Australian, but the site appears to be the proper way around.

how do i propose to use this great power i have? carefully, partially responsibly, and when i remember. so yes, then, i have tested the powers of the Magic 8 Ball, as far as i dare. below are some of the questions i asked, and the answers given.

do be careful if you read on, then, for what is known may never be unknown.

Do you actually work?

UNLIKELY

Will The Stone Roses ever release an album called Christmas With The Stone Roses?

YOU MAY RELY ON IT

Will Britain ever have a proper Prime Minister again? 

YOU CAN COUNT ON IT

Once lost, can happiness be found?

FOCUS AND ASK AGAIN

Am I a proper fan of Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys?

YOU CAN COUNT ON IT

Are the French really all that bad?

CONSULT ME LATER

i figured by that last question i had worn out the magical powers of the Magic 8 Ball, then, so i stopped. also, as you may well have worked out, i could not think of any other questions.

no instructions came with the Magic 8 Ball, bar the bits on the box which i did not read. strictly speaking i am very much a leaflet man. so, i am not sure i used it properly. no chants or incantations were made prior to summoning the answers of revelations of the Magic 8 Ball, and i did not wear a special cape or cloak. but, in truth, i am happy with the answers.

should there be any interest, or if i am short of something to write, and i remember, then the answer is yes, i will make every effort to unravel further mysteries and bring you the answers here.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

solo

hello


so, then, i finally got around to watching this Solo film. or, if you will, Solo A Star Wars Story, look you see, for that appears to be its formal name. but, for the sake of typing it all, we shall simply call it Solo to be sure.

on the one side there seems to be little point in me rambling and making comments on a film that was release, what, 5 or 6 months ago. the other side, however, says that not quite so many saw it - Disney managed to pull off the presumed impossible with this and managed to make a Star Wars film that lost money, something not achieved with either the less widely loved "prequel" trilogy or, indeed, Ewoks Caravan Of Courage. maybe, then, there are a fair number who have not seen it but are for some curious reason wondering what it was like, or what my thoughts are.

to give a spoiler free (executive summary?), at a glance overview for those contemplating watching but wanting to know none of the "secrets", well, this is one boring film. had it been scripted and proposed as a movie without any Star Wars related character names, it would have been passed on. that's not the case with Rogue One, for example, which was a brilliant story and film in its own right that just happened to be set in that Star Wars universe. whereas their are some (brief) good to great moments in it, Solo is not a film you particularly need to watch in any great hurry, if at all.

right, you have had an overview. for the rest of this post there is no getting away from them - a really big, huge *** SPOILER WARNING *** is in place. seriously, read on not unless you have seen the film, have no intention of seeing it or could not care less if you knew the story and events backwards prior to seeing it.

so as we may start off on a positive note, a look at what this film gets right. and get right it does - perhaps for the first time since Disney took ownership of Star Wars, a "classic" character is presented exactly as they were and as they should be. take a bow all and sundry who ensured that Lando Calrissian was treated with the love, fondness and respect in Solo that precisely none of the other characters in the Disney era have been.

Lando - or if you will young Lando - looks, acts and behaves exactly as you would have imagined him to. every now and then someone does a list or article on actors what delivered really good performances in otherwise rubbish films. Donald Glover as Lando will forever be at the top of such a list. whereas his screentime is (infuriatingly) limited, it's easily the best parts. one really does wish they had just made a film called Lando, and had Han Solo as a bit part character in it. which gives you a clue, i suppose, as to how far wrong Solo really goes.

to this end, there is really one superb, great sequence in the film. well, sure, there are a number of ok moments, but by far the best is when Han, Chewbacca (Chewie, if you like) and Lando are pulling off a daring escape after a daring heist. never tell me the odds, etc.

really, this sequence should have been the premise for the film. the world simply did not need a Solo Origins story film. all and sundry of the target market are quite familiar with who the characters are; what we wanted was a two hour wise-cracking thrilling adventure of them in action. instead we just get a brief hint at how awesome such a film would have been.

yes, i am aware that i am treading quite dangerously close to the "fanboy" line here. hopefully i do not cross it, but let it be you, the reader, who judges and damns me if so.

what is sort of OK about the film? Alden Ehreneich (no idea how you pronounce, sorry) in the lead. but not necessarily for the reasons you might think. whichever actor took on this role was on something of a hiding to nothing, really. even aside from the fact that the part appears indelibly linked to Harrison Ford, what problem there is with the character is that everyone of my generation who loved Star Wars wanted to be Han. when, in the late 70s, it was break time in school and we were in the yard playing Star Wars, 100% of us wanted to be Han Solo, 0% wanted to be Luke or anyone else.

this Alden Ehreneich does a decent job of the lead role in the film, carrying as he does a pedestrian plot through a meandering script. alas, he does so without you (or maybe just me) ever really seeing or recognising him as Han Solo as such. he is not bad at all, he just seems to be playing some different character all together.

nothing unusual there, really, with the Disney approach to the source material. in The Force Awakens they successfully managed to make all of the "classic" characters be absolutely nothing like they were in the original films. for good measure, they then went ahead and changed them all about again in The Last Jedi, deftly undoing all of the (many) good parts of the first new sequel.

for the most part, they achieve this by simply refusing to let the characters be who they are. when all is said and done, when this new "sequel" trilogy of Star Wars Episodes 7, 8 and 9 are all done, one of the biggest retrospective complaints will come when fans at large realise they did not allow Han, Luke, Chewie, Leia and them robot things to have one last adventure together. with Solo, the major issue is that for some reason they didn't simply let Han be Han, having derring do scoundrel like adventures.

even when Disney relents and gives a bit of what i believe is commonly called "fan service", the results are somewhat mixed. one of the original films, i believe the first, makes reference to Han Solo doing something called the "Kessel Run" in a time or distance faster than anyone else, ever.

to be honest it's not really a part of Star Wars folklore, mythology or legend i have ever been all that interested in. so maybe i am not the best person to comment on it all. but, by the time it came into the film, i was rather thoroughly bored with it all, and nothing in the sequence was all that interesting or exciting. as point of fact, my abiding memories of the Kessel Run are or were that it was dark, murky and you had little or no idea what was going on, bar the much fabled Millennium Falcon sliding between two colliding planets or other such celestial bodies.

what of a big bad for the film? in this regard the makers were spoilt for choice, in truth. most would have reasonably expected Jabba The Hutt or a rival "space gangster" to be the villain of the piece, or failing that at the least some sort of encounter with Boba Fett or other such bounty hunter.

no, instead for the "big bad" they gave us a few seconds of a, surely in the eyes of many, bizarrely resurrected Darth Maul out of Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace.

oh yes, indeed. if one had watched all of the animated Star Wars The Clone Wars series, not to mention the equally animated Star Wars Rebels, one would have been aware that Darth Maul somehow survived being cut in half by Obi-Wan ("Ben") Kenobi. he got given some robot legs and then got told to just get on with it.

just exactly how many in the audience would have been aware of the above is debatable. not many, going on what i recall of reactions to it. in terms of giving "fan service", quite strange that they would cater to the few aware of the above, rather than the many by giving them a Jabba or a Boba, or any such "bad side" character what has a name that ends in the letter "a".

and even then, one wonders exactly how thrilled prequel / Maul / animated tv series fans will be with this. Darth Maul appears for a few seconds via one of them hologram thingies, and seems to be in it purely so that they can have a character ignite one of them light sabre things. even though he does nothing with it.

so, to go all over the place and make this non-linear, when Han met Chewie. strangely, this scene is one of the few highlights of the film mentioned, as it is a genuinely good set piece. unfortunately, however, it kind of undoes what a lot of my generation "knew". in the comics and books what came out after the Star Wars films in the 70s and 80s, it was made clear that Han Solo was a Tarzan like character, a human who grew up on the Wookie planet, and that was how he came to know the language and be friends with Chewie. yeah, that gets torn up and thrown out for something far more conventional in terms of American "buddy" movies.

they needlessly fiddle with other things, too. one of the most frustrating things about Solo is that one of the best moments in the film sits on disc two of the blu ray set, filed under "deleted scenes". those what grew up with it all knew that at one stage Solo was an Imperial pilot, and got kicked out or was a deserter. yes, they did indeed film all of this, in a really most excellent sequence, but didn't use it in the film, opting or electing instead to show him as a ground trooper. oh.

a "tell" for a Star Wars film is that it is supposed to be a fun (laser sword) swashbuckling adventure for the whole family, with the emphasis on giving the younger members of the family (kids) a sense of awe, wonder, and reason to dream. to this end, William got bored with it all and walked out of the room where we watched it just after an hour, James just sat and wondered why did they spend so much time and money making Solo the way they did, instead of an at least interesting thing.

the biggest gripe for the boys came in the form of the "big set piece", the "train heist". from what i recall much noise and fanfare was made about this sequence by the producers before it was released. essentially, as the boys observed, it strives to be a (quite poor) shot by shot rip off of a sequence that was great in Captain America The First Avenger.

other major issues with the film? well, i am going to leave Woody Harrelson out of it. in terms of Mr Dependable, yes indeed Woody Harrelson just turns up and stands around being Woody Harrelson. this works really, really well in something like Zombieland, where such a character makes sense, but not in Star Wars. this is with particular reference to his (or his characters) use of the word "hell". who knew that such a concept existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away?

who i will point out as being particularly bad, however, is Emilia Clarke. once again. yes, she is indeed a quite "popular" actress in that dragons thing, Game Of Thrones, but that seems to be in relation to the wardrobe decisions made for her character. here, much like in the awful Terminator Gensys, the "acting" we get is Ms Clarke having dark hair and standing around smiling a lot.

yes, that is her pictured with Paul Bettnay. he who was so good in that other Disney money machine, Avengers, and yet is suspiciously poor here in a role best described as "the big bad but not really the big bad as we are going to show you a few seconds of Darth Maul later". basically, he stands around a lot, has some weird lines on his face that glow when he gets angry, and takes the Al Pacino approach of either mumbling some words or getting quite shouty.

that Solo is a mess of a film and appears destined to not make any money for Disney probably puts paid to any idea of a Han Solo film that fans would actually want. all they had to do was have two hours of Han and Chewie running around, away from or for Jabba The Hutt and/or Boba Fett, with Lando hovering around to betray them but eventually redeem himself. instead, then, they went to an awful lot of effort to make something that seems bereft of any ideas or any sort of tangible point.

it will not happen, but perhaps Star Wars should simply be left well alone. any hope that the clumsy mess of The Last Jedi would not be allowed again fades away quite quickly into Solo. is it, i wonder, that Disney had not even ever seen a Star Wars before throwing many billions at it?

go, Disney, go and look at what made James Bond, the original Star Wars films (and the prequels) and even your own Avengers films such spectacular successes. what you will find is that all of them tell more or less identical stories again and again, just with slightly different spins and slightly different characters. and that, really, as an audience, is all we want. the safe, comfortable knowledge that we shall be entertained for a couple of hours by something which we are familiar, just with a bit of a different take on how it was presented this time.

and then you get something like where my brother reckoned Solo was excellent, and doesn't quite follow why i did not enjoy it. so there. perhaps of the small number who saw it many in fact really quite liked it, and i am in a sort of minority.

well, as ever, thanks for reading, and if this has been of use or interest to anyone anywhere, nice one!



live long and prosper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fifth fair

hello again


one of them sort of "throwback" things, look you see. a post this month looking at something from last month, as opposed to one looking at something from next month, since i doubt i could conjure up pictures for it this far in advance. let me move on.

the drawing to a close of September means, in fairness, many things. for us, however, a key event is a nearby show and fair, with particular emphasis on the fair. off we went to it, as is something of a tradition. but, in this instance, just the 50% of us went.

yes, just William and i, or moi, this year. why, or for what reason? well, we had blistering, tree destroying winds, plus some formidable rain. my (considerably) better half elected not to stand in such for the sake of observing flashing and expensive lights. James, too, was not so keen on this. but, in fairness, he did go along to it the very next evening, with his mates, as the youth of the world are so prone to doing as and when a certain age is reached. which he nearly has.

as William had his heart set on going to the fair - for the fifth time in his life - and i for some reason clutch to a tradition of going, off we went, then. indeed, quite, yes, we had a most splendid time of it.

such a fun time, as point of fact, that i seldom took the phone with a camera welded to it out so that i may record all that much. every now and then, dear reader, one should really live for the moment, and not concern themselves too much with recording it all. but, yes, i did get some of it down, for i know friends and family around the world would wish for an update.

indeed, that is a ride fashioned in the means and manner of a "bucking bull", quite like the one what Gene Wilder rode most triumphantly in Stir Crazy, except totally different. William was a little unsure of it, but in the ended decided he wanted to have a go on it anyhow, and so he did.

do i have some video of this for you? why, yes, of course i do.

that is indeed Theme From Rawhide you can here. i am not sure if it is the legendary recording of it made by The Blues Brothers or the original, i would hope the latter but the former is good. yes, all the time the song was playing i had something of a splendid smile on the go, watching William enjoy the ride and of course remembering how splendid The Blues Brothers was, is, and always or forever shall be.

anyway, the ride above did get rather somewhat more enthusiastic as it went along. not quite bucking bull as such, sure, but the vibrations and shakes got a little bit more robust. alas no, i did not film any of that, thinking it best to hold off and see if i needed to grab William should the bull cast him off.

oh, yes, indeed - the pleasure of the bungee. i believe it was down at York a couple of years ago when both the boys discovered the joys of this. if i recall right, zero inflation too - back then it was £5 a go, here at the fair it was also £5 a go. making it the flagship, prestige and indeed premium attraction at the fair, but what the hey, you get what you pay for. sometimes.

no, a still image of any sort of thing what features the word "bungee" doesn't really cover what it all does, does it? or does it not, i am not sure how best to word that. which, i guess, makes it all the better that i have some video of it coming up next.

absolutely, what you can hear there is the classic song Disco (pronounced "dee aye ess see oh), much to my delight. some time ago i tried to explain to William that such a magnificent song really did exist, but he did not believe me. and now, then, he does.

other forms of fun and entertainment engaged in? well, William really wanted to go on the dodgems, or if you like bumper cars. i agreed, and further agreed to let William have his wish of driving. at first, that is. sadly, and this is not William's fault, dodgem car steering is not as adept as other vehicles, and so he made me quite dizzy having us spin around on the spot.

beyond that, William really liked the firearm based things - ones where you shoot paintballs and air rifles at an assortment of targets. no, i did not film or take images of that, feeling it better (safer) to watch and be alert, lest he get any "likely to cause damage or harm" ideas with such weaponry in his hands.

yeah, go on then, for that peculiar bunch of you who quite like me, a selfie of moi to finish off. indeed, that is the legendary jacket i have on - the "honest it is real and genuine" one Zama got me off of the back of Jozi taxi rank, some 5 or so (perhaps more) years ago. as it is still serving its purpose, far from me it be to argue or question the provenance. R200 or R300 it cost me, which when you translate into sterling is practically nothing for a jacket; not by UK prices.

soon, then, my time of being present at the fair each year shall be at an end. other than my age, or in consideration of it, there will be no reason nor excuse. just as is the case with James now, in a couple of years - less than a handful, assuming handfuls are measured in terms of fingers - William will want to be there with his mates, alone with them, and not having a parent "cramp his style". no, not even a cool, hip or with it one, such as i. such is how life is supposed to go, i presume.

enjoy it all whilst it lasts, then, and other such well used statements that are well used for they have much validity to them. and, indeed, thanks as ever for stopping by to read.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of books

hello reader


some more reading done then, to be sure. and some of it - not by choice, look you see - on one of them that there "e-reader" things, since for some reason absolutely none of the shops i went to (several branches of four distinctly different businesses) appeared to have any interest in having it on the shelf for sale. hey ho.

and so, as would be normal or if you like usual, a glance at the covers of those what i read, along with something of a quick, spoiler-free overview.

right then, as you may have worked out or ascertained it was Dragon Teeth, the 3rd or 4th "final novel, honest" from Michael Crichton. there are some plus points, but ultimately its publication kind of tarnishes his work and maybe this one should have stayed in a filing cabinet or similar. meanwhile, The Chalk Man by CJ Tudor has some flaws and faults but is ultimately breathtakingly brilliant, and is yet another strong contender for that coveted "book of the year" what i select when the year is done. no, really, that good, and you may want to skip this and simply go read that one, now.

to be clear, and to be sure, a big, massive *** MAYBE POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING *** is now in place. whereas i shall try not to give much away, for the cautious, there you go. further, or also, i have elected to drop the links i put in. well, i've proven that i do not use online retailers for novels, so it seems silly for me to imply that i would be including such links. if you wished to find any of these novels, i am confident you will.

starting where i started with the two, then, and one that i had really, really been looking forward to. so yes, then, Dragon Teeth by Michael Crichton. it follows on from at least another two novels as being declared his "final one", with his Estate (i think he was married to her out of Sledge Hammer, if so nice one) sending them off for publication.

provenance of my copy? well, for three months i looked and tried to purchase at Morrison, Tesco, WH Smith and that other book chain that i cannot remember the name of. hang on let me google.....Waterstones. sight nor sound of it. no, i did not ask them to order, as that would mean to commit to coming back and my time is seldom my own. no, i did not order online, as the paperback price was even higher than what WH Smith charge for such. so, an "ereader" copy, then.

the provenance of the novel itself? well, according to information from the Estate of Michael Crichton, they believe he wrote this one in the early to mid 70s, but for some reason it was never revised or published during his lifetime. having read it, i can quite steadfastly assure you that it was perhaps not published during his lifetime because it wasn't very good. i mean, it's not bad, but it is not good.

plot? back in 1870s America a wealthy student makes a whimsical bet that he can go to the frontier that is "the West" and survive. whereas he, William Johnson, is fictitious, he encounters numerous real characters from history, notably two palaeontologists (Cope and Marsh), Custer, Wild Bill, the Earp brothers and a few more. and that's kind of it.

this is a really good idea for a novel, but alas it's just far too simplified and flimsy. nearly nothing, bar the challenges of photography in Deadwood, gets any decent detail. my biggest disappointment is the fact that the title becomes an irrelevance. i really was hoping this novel would play on one of my pet theories, that in the Dark, Middle Ages or "medieval" times, people found dinosaur bones, but not knowing why they were so black and charred assumed they breathed fire and hence the legend of dragons being born. no such luck, alas, with the dinosaur bones being kind of key to the latter plot but mostly ignored.

having had to wait to get this novel, then, i kind of find myself wishing that i had not. sure, there was potential for this to be developed and expanded into something great. the fact that Michael Crichton elected not to do that at any stage of the 70s, 80s, 90s or 00s perhaps says it all. what a shame. but, you know, if you are a fan of Crichton like me, then yeah, there are sort of enough bits in the book to make it worthwhile reading. just, not that many, at all.

not really any such problems or the like affecting a reading of The Chalk Man by CJ Tudor, then. as mentioned above, 'tis brilliant, if somewhat confused by the "rent a quote" review off of Stephen King on the front cover.

plot? the novel dips back and forth between 30 years. a childhood game which involved drawing chalk men may or may not have led to certain tragedies and events happening. after many (erm, 30) years of keeping it all buried, doing that (sometimes wise) pretend nothing happened thing, for some reason the incidents are all coming back to the fore, and could be all sorts of trouble for those involve, in particular our narrator, the protagonist Eddie......

oh yeah, provenance of my copy - Tesco, and it was either £2.50 or £3.50 as they seem to have stopped with their £2 and £3 offers. yes, indeed, i did happen to purchase this on one of several fruitless visits to see if i could not procure a paperback of Dragon Teeth, but no matter.

i have tried to be vague with the details of the novel so as not to give spoilers. that's because, overall, this is superb, and highly recommended reading. and so i would rather keep details limited. except to say yes, maybe, it is at heart a "horror" tale, i suppose, but a traditional, classical British one. no idea why they felt Stephen King was the best quote, as this is far removed from his (superb in its own right) works; this ranks up with the greats of British horror writing, in particular James Herbert and Clive Barker.

sure, there are one or two niggles and flaws with the novel. most books do have such. it is when the sheer joy and pleasure of reading outweighs all of them that you know you have found a really, really good book. and that is what has happened here. so, let me leave it at that, lest me risk waffle and spoiling anything.

anyway, as ever it would be splendid if this has been of some (or any) use to anyone out there. mostly, though, thanks for taking the time to read!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!