it was a little while ago that i, look you see, did a think piece, a rant or a flat whine about the unnecessary meddling elected to be undertaken by the darts on the tele and that. you can read, if you wish, here of how some unelected and unrequested people got scared, confused and bewildered by the presence of lady models of the female kind at the darts. their inability to tell the difference between "sexy" and "sexist" meant that the models were gone.
with this, i feared that the spectacle of the darts would become dull and boring. oh, how i wish it were so. the tournament televised in early March was duller than dull, and bored the veritable pants off of boredom itself.
the occasion was the British or UK Open, and it was played in Minehead. most will be aware of this, but that's an areas renowned and celebrated for the passionate, vibrant way the darts tournaments get watched and enjoyed. no more, sadly, no more.
yes, granted - apparently the havoc caused by that Storm Emma and this "beast from the east" business affected the tournament. but that was clearly not the only problem - obviously they had set up everything to celebrate the new, "non-sexist" way in which they plan to showcase darts.
first problem? the walk in. darts players used to walk up to the oche, accompanied by models and security. they had their own "theme song" playing as they did. this got the players pumped up, and excitement built up. well, that's gone.
now the players just mooch around to the oche from behind the dartboard. no models, and no need for security, as there is a massive barrier blocking off all of the stage.
also gone are the "themes". both players walk around to the same bit of music at the same time. in the instance of this tournament, more often than not the piece of music was the terrible Holy Mountain by the man who actively seeks to be champion of dull, Noel Gallagher. as an aside, it beggars belief how many organisations and institutions have now used this music for things. oh well, the licence is all extra money for Noe£ Ga££agher, i guess.
yeah, that's Rob Cross. a relative newcomer to the sport, he's normally exciting. now, bereft of any buzz, build up or crowd, he was boring to watch. all of the darts that weekend was boring to watch. perhaps what says it best is that the commentators could find absolutely nothing of interest to talk about except for "how fast" all the games were going. little wonder, really. the whole thing was embarrassing and humiliating for the players to be part of. but, it is ok, no models were made to feel like sex objects.
once upon a time, in the late 80s and early 90s, it became a "thing" to place a bet on how long the incumbent Chancellor of the Exchequer would take to deliver his Budget speech. perhaps this happens now, still. back then, though, it was just a distraction for the commoners, the proletariat and the working classes. if they were betting on the time of the speech, then they might not notice how badly they were being punished by the Budget.
worst of all, perhaps, was the "hipster coffee shop" approach to seating the fans. they all sat at round, coffee shop like tables, and applauded politely yet lightly whenever prompted to do so by something the scorer considered exciting or interesting. this was not so often.
the whole thing was sterile, insipid and painful to watch. for some reason they've decided that the lack of sound which surrounds snooker is perfect for darts. no, it is not. far from it. they are two different sports and attract similar fans. but the fans expect to be able to act, interact and behave differently.
so, then, i am against the gentrification, the castration and the pointless dulling down of the darts. watching the tournaments was a simple pleasure; now it seems to have been taken away from me and many others for no really good reason.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment