Tuesday, April 10, 2018

hard dane

hej med dig


it is a truth universally acknowledged, look you see, that modern day Scandinavia is renowned and celebrated for two things. these are pornography and furnishings what one assembles within the confines of their own home. what i propose to do, or shall attempt, in this post is to look at 50% of these celebrated items.

mostly when it comes to these two aspects it is Sweden of the Scandinavian area what gets all the fame, accolade and association. whilst it is most certainly true, or if you like trew, that yes, they do deliver some pretty impressive quality on both fronts, the real gems of them come from Denmark.

and this is how, dear reader, if you have continued to read on with this, it came to be that i took ownership of a Danish bedside cabinet. yes, i suppose, now that i think, in essence this combines the two qualities most keenly or acutely associated with the Scandinavian region or area.



just about all of this, visually in terms of pictures, is very much going to be presented in Commodore 64 mode, so you know. it's better this way or that way, do you not think or agree?

one of the more immediate or interesting questions you might have, should you have some sort of curiosity, is why exactly i was in a position where a bedside cabinet was required. there is no untoward story or concern here, i am sorry to disappoint. whereas i had a perfectly serviceable bedside table, this one just so happened to catch my eye. i felt it would be better, maybe even more appropriate, to have this rather than what i had, and so it came to be. thus far it has proven so.

the reasonable pricing, as illustrated in the image above and the one below, also factored. for just a simple, single and maybe solitary penny south of £20, to be sure, i could have some fine Danish wood in what is ostensibly my bedroom. every dream has a price, whether you knew you had the dream or not. should that price be or seem reasonable, then why not pay it.



an aspect i quite like of this self assembly cabinet is that them in Denmark are not going to seek to make it all that easy for you, or if you look at it from another side they are not to treat you as idiots. whilst the more famous Swedish self assembly furniture lot make it all easy and simple, the Danish concern - whose name escapes me for the moment - don't really go in for that sort of approach.

rather than neatly label everything, the Danes, or the Danish, or them off of Denmark, just give you all the bits and some lettering stickers, pictured above. for them, the approach is very much one of "if you want to have a system where one can easily connect a to a, b to b and so forth, you can have it, but you can do that bit yourself as we are not particularly interested".

for those interested in how the Danes would say the above, or at the least how Google translate reckons the Danes would say the above, hvis du vil have et system, hvor man nemt kan forbinde a til a, b til b og så videre, kan du få det, men du kan selv gøre det selv, da vi ikke er særlig interesserede. should it be that any obscenities feature in that translation, they are accidental and thus do not count so no apology will be issued at this stage.



just what constitutes as Scandinavian these days? traditionally it is a term which is used to reference Sweden, Norway and of course Denmark. popularly it is adopted as a phrase by those far too lazy to name each country (or kingdom) in its own right, but also can be used when you have forgotten which specific nation you want to speak of, or simply cannot be bothered to work out which is which. on a personal level, and for entirely personal reasons, i quite like to lump Finland in with my own definition of "Scandinavian", but you of course do not have to.

the intention here is to celebrate this "hidden gem" that is Danish self assembly furnishings off of Denmark. it is not to disparage or otherwise slander the rather more famous Swedish variation. indeed, at times and on certain instances i have assembled the famous Swedish stuff, and make use of such on a fairly regular basis. it is all perfectly serviceable. also, in terms of the other thing what the Scandinavian province is famous for, well, if someone came up to me and said "how about a nice bit of Swedish porn?", i would say yes, thank you very much, rather than rejecting it for not being Danish. presented with a choice, in either instance, i suppose i would simply elect to select the Danish offerings.



for me, and i can only of course speak so, the most exciting part of this self assembly bedside cabinet is that they gave me a big bag of nails for the construction. this was Denmark saying to me "let us not be a big fanny about this". Sweden's self assembly ambassadors are, of course, known for not only not giving you nails, but for going to perilously extreme lengths to advise you not to take nails to their wares. how refreshing that Denmark should go in an entirely different direction.

no, in the grand scheme of things, they weren't them chunky, damage inviting six or nine inch nails which one would use for outside concerns. it was just them little ones what held the thin wood - plywood? - to the back of the cabinet. but i mean, still, i was enabled to use a hammer and, for a change, use it for the purpose to which end it was ostensibly invented for.

yes, Thor - actual, real Thor, not that Australian lad - was or is indeed Scandinavian. Norse, specifically, which i take as to mean out of Norway, which falls into the definition. so no, i just used a standard hammer rather than a fancy one off of the gods. also, i don't recall singing, humming or even considering Immigrant Song as i used the hammer, but i might have. perhaps a lost opportunity, but no matter - my life has, after all, been littered or characterised by such and as such.



one of the biggest, if not the most major, areas of appeal for me with this bedside cabinet was the drawer. the table i had been using, reasonably in comfort, featured no such accessory or aspect. for some reason, and maybe it is would be best to leave it as unidentifiable, the idea of a drawer was exciting. it just seemed a nice, neat place to store away items such as whatever book i was presently reading, and indeed my spectacles, for i do not wear them as i sleep.

how did i find the construction of the bedside cabinet of Denmark? rewarding. sure, it was not as fast or as easy as one i could have gotten off of that there Swedish lot, but still. other than being a lot lower in cost, there was a great sense of satisfaction to be had in putting this all together with no errors. not bad at all, considering the low ranking my abilities and skills with such would have in general terms.



bacon would be the other thing what Denmark is known for, i suppose. for some reason i believe connoisseurs and experts get all excited about Danish bacon, claiming it is the finest. for me, well, i do not believe i have ever asked the origin or provenance of any bacon which i have eaten. cost, to be sure, and what i feel like eating have always been a priority. also, i tend not to dine at establishments where such questions would be encouraged or in any way welcome.

indeed, no, i have never been to anywhere one would call Scandinavian. obviously i have purchased a thing or two from there, and seen many of their most splendid films intended for a more mature in terms of age audience. indeed, one or two things off of me have been sent there, too. and, for all i know, the people of the nations what form that geographical expression read this blog from time to time, which is nice.



as you possibly don't need me to highlight i pretty much ran out of things to say of this fairly early on into the post, but mumbled on. to finish, then, above is a non-Commodore 64 mode look at the finished bedside cabinet, off of Denmark and what i made.

well, anyway. if the question posed at any stage was one of if Danish or off of Denmark self assembly furnishing are a worthwhile investment, i would say yes should you either want, wish or need for the specific furnishing in question. nice one Denmark, cheers.

indeed, quite, i would have an interest in getting some self assembly stuff off of Norway and also Finland, with the latter perhaps being the priority. no idea why, but it would be nice.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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