david lee roth asteroids

heya


well, look you see, the title is very much a case of what it says on the box, to be sure. to this end, let's cut right to the chase - if you want to leave this blog to play David Lee Roth Asteroids i would understand entirely, and wish you safe journey. here is the link for it, so off you go!

should for some reason you want to read my musings on the subject of David Lee Roth rather than play the game, well then you can jolly well read on. read, and indeed, see, for i have taken some screenshots of this most magnificent, excellent game. the greatest game what ever existed, no less, for David Lee Roth is in it. even better is the fact that you play the game as David Lee Roth. living the dream, they call that.

it has, up to know, been a widely - no, universally - accepted fact that the only decent video game ever to feature any sort of music band or act was Frankie Goes To Hollywood on the Commodore 64. one knew that it would take something extra special to top that, ladies and gentlemen, and little in this universe is more extra special than what David Lee Roth is.

should for some reason you still be reading this and not playing the game here is the link again.

when you click on that link you get taken to a site called 'Realm of Darkness' or if you like ROD. on it you shall undoubtedly note it is financed by unobtrusive but all the same visible adverts. good. i hope, for reward in terms of bringing us this game, that the designer of this game and the owners of the site end up taking custody of all the money in the world. they have earned it.

exactly what does one do whilst playing as David Lee Roth in the game David Lee Roth Asteroids? the latter part of the name serves you as a clue. it is based, or if you will the "engine" of the game is based, on that classic arcade game Asteroids. to this end one gets to blast asteroids apart, as well as Eddie Van Halen, the Van Halen logo and some other stuff.

but, and i cannot state this enough, the important part is that you blast asteroids apart as David Lee Roth.

those of you who read this blog on a fairly regular basis, or just happen to have read any other post what i have done on the man, will know that i hold David Lee Roth in very high regard. the highest possible, in fact. other than all that fantastic singing and rock and roll and jumping he does, David Lee Roth is the greatest, most prolific sexualist practicioner to walk the earth.

if - and i have written to the press with this in mind, but alas with limited response - they ever made prolific sexualist skills something one could compete in at the Olympics, well, it would be an understatement to say that Roth would be an Olympiad. he would be the Olympiad. anyone else intent on entering, so to speak, the same contest would do so knowing that second, silver, is the best that they could attain.

to this end, then, there is a rightly and highly priapic nature to the game. David Lee Roth fires his missles at asteroids from his gentlemen area; or if you are familiar with the nuances and ways of his solo records, his "hammerhead shark".  yes, of course, this makes the game all the more amazing. which shows how excellent it is, because it makes it better than it was and it was already the best just by existing, man.

have i ever considered seeking professional help - guidance, perhaps - about my acolyte like worship of David Lee Roth? no. Spiros says there is no need to. he is the greatest legal mind of his generation, and he says that i am perfectly correct in how i view Roth. also, he sent me the link to the game. Spiros, not Roth.

a regret i have is not being able to get some video for you. actually, not so much the video, as smart though it is watching David Lee Roth spinning around, firing his love missiles of asteroid destruction. no, it's the sound i regret not being able to give you. once again, then, all i can suggest is you click on the link above and hear how awesome it is when Roth, or you as Roth, does something.


undoubtedly one of the questions you have unanswered - hence you reading this far - is that of does the game give you the opportunity to blast the anti-David Lee Roth, the false one, the entirely frowned upon Sammy Hagar, to a thousand pieces? the answer is yes.

famously, in what must be one of the greatest single acts of rock folly ever, for some reason Eddie Van Halen thought that Sammy Hagar would be an acceptable replacement for David Lee Roth on vocals and jumping in the band. this was, of course, wrong.

not that Sammy Hagar is entirely without merit or purpose. no, don't get angry, hear me out. we know as fact that Mr Kim Kardashian, Kane West or whatever, is aware of Sammy Hagar. it is also known that Mr Kim is aware that Sammy Hagar is, and this tests the dictionary definition, a rock singer. alas, Mr Kim has gotten it into his head that Sammy is the only rock singer in the world. this is what makes Kane y think he is right to declare himself as "the greatest rock and roll star in the world", for if the only competition was Sammy, then he would indeed be correct to state such, just as anyone would.

reading this serves no purpose but to delay you from playing the game. i shall leave this all here, then, and advise you to scroll back up, click on the link and play away.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!