one of those posts with which i must be exceedingly, indeed extremely, careful with. i do try to keep the content of this safe for both all ages and for those who might get upset by some things. every now and then i fail, but i try, to be sure, look you see.
this would then all be something which could case some distress. perhaps better if you feel that you're at risk you go off and leave now. the more tolerant, or perhaps broadminded, might wish to stay, see and read.
in recent posts i have spoken of our travels to Blackpool. whilst mentioning the heritage and traditions of the place i neglected one particularly delectable treat the place offers. this is, of course, the teeth breaking, sugar overloading joys of a stick of Blackpool rock.
oh yes, dear reader. as far as possible i am going to use the means of Commodore 64 mode, as well as ZX Spectrum, to show off the sticks, if i may call them that, of rock what i got Spiros off of Blackpool.
Spiros has, i have noted, something of a fear about travelling north of London. not a fear, i suppose, just no wish to. he does not believe that he would care for what he found outside of the capital. perhaps i am of guilt in this, as i might have let him know that here in Yorkshire we don't really "do" that thing he is passionate about, which is to say make short term but mutually beneficial friendships with other gents in restrooms and other such public lavatories.
to make amends, then, i thought it would be a nice gesture for me to get Spiros some Blackpool rock. well, if he won't go there to try it himself - and i do believe his friendship ideas are quite popular in quarters of that seaside town - then the taste of it can surely go to him.
no, dear reader. no i most decidedly did not get him any of the traditional, standard, noted for its dynamic cylindrical nature sticks of rock. i was going to, honest, but then i got distracted by a shop what sold - at quite a reasonable price - rock cast in a by far more priapic nature.
this, i said, this right here is exactly what Spiros likes, and would no doubt be thrilled to get in the post. which, as it turns out, he was. some quite colourful words were included in the little excited outburst of (presumably) joy i experienced when they, so to speak, landed. as a bonus i believe the postal worker gave Spiros a cheeky, knowing and possibly "i too do short term but mutually beneficial friendships" wink .
for those interested, the distinctly priapic Blackpool rock confectioneries, for i got him two, were some 4 inches in length, or if you like about 10cm. reasonably wide, too, but i did not think to measure that aspect.
Spiros expressed, in his joy, some slight disappointment about the length. this was, however, offset by the width, or if you like girth. he then proceeded to tell me certain benefits to such sizes, but in the interests of one day just about scraping into heaven i turned a deaf ear to such filth.
that? just some pink salt of Himalayan extraction. i believe this is quite popular these days. recently Spiros mentioned that he had a nice big stiff pink one off of a chap called Jamie, so i am assuming he was making reference to this Jamie Oliver endorsed condiment.
yes, as i was saying, i purchased Spiros not one, certainly not three, but two of the rather priapic sticks of Blackpool rock. i was uncertain whether he would prefer the pink or the black one, so elected to get one of each and let him decide.
to be perfectly honest, it would not be all that much of a shock if he elected to enjoy the pleasures of both at the same time. if so, then i would speculate that this wouldn't be a first.
in fiscal terms, what did i invest to make all of this "happen" for my chum? south of £5. the sticks, if i may call them such, of priapic Blackpool rock were a very reasonable £1 each. not bad considering the artistry involved. Royal Mail, of course, sought to charge as much as possible for the delivery of them. i was, however, able to get it to him for a sub £3 fee.
well, there you go. i have every confidence that, by the time you read this. Spiros will have sucked both of his sticks of rock completely dry, or to the point where they are no more. nice one, mate.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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