the top gear presenter of hearts plate

hello there

oh i do, look you see, i so do really want to win this thing!

Viz, the self-styled magazine that is better than nothing, has opted to celebrate recent news events, as they are so inclined to do, with a specially commissioned limited plate. there are fifty up for grabs, and as you will see my entry is on its way today.

what plate and what news event? well, the most famous fracas in the world.

oh yes, i agree, it looks amazing. what a splendid, marvellous and downright superb way to celebrate a minor incident which  brought and abrupt end to careers and a hugely successful TV show.

when this all happened - which is to say that Jeremy Clarkson apparently punched a producer of his TV show when no hot food was available - we at verk had a conversation that i would be quite sure that happened in place of verk around the world. which is to say we said "you can't go around punching people at work and not expect to get the sack". which was of course followed by "actually, there probably is someone that could get away with it". no one in any place of verk is indispensable, but one or two, i would suggest, everywhere, have a higher threshold of indispensability.

is it me at my place of verk? goodness no. other than the fact that i wouldn't be inclined to hit anyone, i would imagine it would be a very straightforward thing to replace my services. besides, we kind of try our best to all just get along, and anyway there are loads of places near our office where you can get as much hot food as you would like.

yeah, that's a photocopy of the entry page i made there. i have, after all, a collection of Viz that goes back some 30 years. none of those are cut up, so as much as i wish to win this plate i wasn't going to start taking the scissors to an edition now. will this hamper my chances of winning? i hope not.

although it says there are only 50 of them, i would wager that they will shove more of them out for sale at some point. they always do with things like this. oh, actually, now that i have had a look, they are indeed making these Top Gear Presenter Of Hearts plates available for sale.  for no less than the strange and specific figure of £24.98 in coins of money. at that price, i believe yes, indeed i would much rather like to win one of them than pay quite that much for it.

yes, that's my entry, all ready to post. i thought it would be a nice touch to put it in one of them magnificent yellow envelopes that i was all so briefly excited about earlier in the year.

my chances of winning were increased somewhat by the news that Spiros has opted not to enter this competition. he is holding out for them doing a Life Of Clarkson In Cats thing to go along with his magnificent Life Of Christ In Cats tea towel that he bought. from what i recall, Spiros didn't even look at the price of it - he just posted Viz his credit card and told them to keep charging and charging it until the bank would honour it no more as a thank you for bringing that particular item into his life. well, it is quite smart, i suppose, and it no doubt gets put to sensational use by Spiros.

it will be sensational if, in a month or so, i can report on my winning this item. if not, well, i have given it a go, and best of luck to all others who enter. but i really would love to win it!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!