Orenthal, three feet high and rising and maybe the dingo ate his baby

hi there

nothing really, bar some comments that in this sensitive era of Generation Whine may well upset and offend many or any. that's not the intention, but one merely has to say a single word these days and someone somewhere is either offended or, more commonly, offended on behalf of someone else. hey ho.

i stumbled upon this rather remarkable series of adverts recently. if you have heard of them and ended up here via one of them google things wondering what they were, well, welcome to my world.

here, then, is OJ Simpson, Orenthal James, "Da Juice", advertising what appears to be boots for chaps who have three legs and, subsequently, three feet. not in the priapic slang sense of a third leg, or "middle stump"  sort of thing, but an actual third leg. as in the opposite problem of having one leg too few.

fascinating. do please insert your own "no wonder the footprints from the crime scene didn't match" jokes and comments here if you so wish, i can't be pestered with such things.

i did end up watching as much of the infamous OJ trial as i could, really, mostly because i had absolutely nothing else better to do i suppose. this was all pre-internet, you have to remember, even pre-DVD and there was only so much arsing one could do with VHS on a night. Judge Ito was ace.

people tend not to like it when i speak of that case as i have what seems to be a minority view. the whole case was rubbish, and the Dingo wearer should never have been charged. nothing ever put him at the crime scene and everything indicated that the chap at the house, rather than the former Mrs Juice, was the intended victim. i had no surprise at all when he was found not guilty as a starstruck prosecution not once put their accused at the crime scene.

but people tell me that i am wrong to think that and have seen it like that. why? that's what they never say. he seems to be an unpleasant man and that, but i have never got why because the press all said he did it everyone just took this as fact. hey ho.

let's rather have another look at one of these class adverts.

i quite like how sometimes the third foot of the OJ is a left one, whereas sometimes it is, you guessed it, a right one. i imagine there's a word somewhere along the lines of ambidextrous to explain this phenomenon, although i would imagine science type dudes would be far more interested in that the third leg exists than being all that bothered about its left and right ways.

what if the foot changed randomly? that would surely knack sales of Dingo boots, for they could not sell their set of three with all that much confidence if they didn't know if a chap afflicted like Orenthal needed two left or two right ones. Perhaps, actually, they sold two left and two right boots, a "double pair" if you will, and then the bloke who bought them just wore the extra left or right depending on what the foot opted to change for overnight. assuming, of course, it happened overnight. would be better to, surely - that kind of bone adjustment and directional change looks like it would absolutely knack, so better to have it happen whilst one was asleep, dreaming of a different time.

another ad, with OJ giving the thumbs up? sure.

now that i think, there was an assumption that Elaine out of Seinfeld in an episode of Seinfeld was referring to Lindy Chamberlain and a certain case in Australia (which may or may not be getting reviewed yet again, no idea sorry) when she did her "maybe the dingo ate your baby" line at random in a quasi-postmodernist sort of Australian accent. who knows? maybe it was some sort of reference to the career of Da Juice and this was an obscure "Easter Egg" like clue for people watching.

now that i think Elaine out of Seinfeld in an episode of Seinfeld was probably more referencing Meryl Streep's portrayal of Lindy Chamberlain in the film A Cry In The Dark. that film that starred that guy that was in that film with the dinosaurs and that. Sam someone.

so Meryl Streep has played, now that i think on, the most controversial woman from Britain in the 80s and the most controversial woman from Australia in the 80s. where to next for Meryl? Nancy Reagan, perhaps, or maybe even Zola Budd? or maybe that woman that tried to get all them rap records banned in the land of free speech, Tipper something.

i am not sure if you can still even get Dingo boots, but i am reasonably sure that you cannot at the moment hire OJ, or any of his legs, to advertise much of anything. there, that brought this blog post back to the subject of whatever it was about in the first place.

anyway, that's that.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!