possibly the worst film i have ever endured

OK, this review may not be suitable for all to read. Scream Bloody Murder sits happily next to Die Hard Dracula and Forrest Gump as one of the worst films i have ever tested the pain threshold against by watching it in full.

the reasons for me watching it are obvious - whilst not my usual preferred nuns, the schoolgirls on the cover looked rather nice, and there was an enormous chainsaw on the artwork too. this was all clearly a clever sales pitch to catch someone like me, your humble narrator.

the schoolgirls, clearly the wrong side of their 20's, are lame and remain dressed at all times, and when the chainsaw bit turns up (one hour in), it has a blade about as long as a conventional pencil and does not get used on anything or anyone.

plot? some rubbish about a bus full of schoolgirls on their way to a dance. the bus breaks down, they are towed to some sort of garage thing and then everyone starts getting killed. there are two almost amusing deaths in it, but they make a real mess of them, and not a good, quality horror mess.

if you are in any way, shape or form tempted by this film, you are welcome to get in touch with me and you can probably have my copy. if you are interested in the schoolgirl aspects, i suggest you rather investigate the more, um, "concentrated on that subject" films which Sweden is famous for. if you, like me, want to watch a decent chainsaw film, then rather go and watch just about any other chainsaw film that this. blimey, Mr Mom, starring Michael Keaton, had a more impressive chainsaw scene than this drivel.

be excellent to each other! and if you cannot be excellent to someone, then by all means give them a copy of Scream Bloody Murder, or the DVD which is on its way to my good friend Spiros as a thank you for the Gay London Choir CD he got me for Christmas. i won't tell you the name of his DVD, but i will tell you it is about yoga. for men. naked men. who like other naked men.