celebrating the 20th anniversary of the crowning glory of the goose slayer

hello there


this probably goes without saying, but it all the same it is of course true that acts of violence should not be condoned or celebrated. at least not all of the time, look you see. if it were all of the time, then i should not be writing this, a reflection on one of the greatest moments in modern history.

i am not at all certain, to be sure, which is the more difficult to accept. that 1999 (the year, not the Prince song) was 20 years ago, or that it is now 20 years since we witnesses a brave, plucky warrior slay a goose in just about the most unconventional way you could imagine. even if you can imagine  a lot of different things.

yes. whereas a modern generation knows him as "the Pope out of Sharknado 5", i am of an era when we knew - indeed feared, admired and respected - the one they call Fabio as the goose slayer.

there he is, in the picture above, resplendent in a most exquisite cape, his hair so perfect it must have been cleansed with shampoo what has got lemon in it, like what Jason Donovan uses. in this image you can see the crowds that have gathered to watch him bravely go off and seek to slay a goose.

you might be reading this and asking how hard could it possibly be to slay a goose. one, surely, would simply need to visit a farm or some similar locale where geese (gooses?) hang out, armed with a standard or conventional weapon and, well, just do it. all true, certainly and most decidedly, but that was not the Fabio way.

no. to prove his worth, to test his mettle, Fabio set out to slay a goose in the most complex and difficult way he possibly could. to this end, in front of ample witness levels, Fabio had his people strap him into a rollercoaster, restraining his hands, and instructed them to neither stop the rollercoaster nor loosen his bindings until a goose was slain.

above is the partially world famous footage of this most triumphant event. yes, so special was this quest that it was presented, via satellites and all that, to a worldwide audience. of course he succeeded, otherwise we would not be celebrating this amazing achievement.

why, exactly, did Fabio wish to slay a goose in the most complicated way possible? that is a not unreasonable question, but one that has no clear answer. most accept that his main motivation was to have people stop seeing him as just "Fabio the model", and to understand that he was a far more complex character. perhaps a clairvoyant or soothsayer had consulted with him, informing him of great ills experienced in a past life, and that slaying a goose in a quite specific way was the only option to free himself of a curse.

should my opinion be asked as to why, i reckon he had not long before the incident watched Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan in Conan The Barbarian. other than the bits where he stabs a snake with a sword and punches a horse or camel, there is this one bit in it where Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan in Conan The Barbarian is being crucified, and whilst doing so slays a buzzard or vulture or similar by biting its head off.

perhaps for some reason Fabio got it into his head that the rollercoaster was the modern day, or real life, equivalent of crucifixion, and further assumed that a goose was in some way related to a buzzard or vulture or whatever. they all have wings, so same difference, that kind of thinking.

the important thing, i suppose, is that Fabio had a dream, Fabio reached for the dream, Fabio touched the dream. quite an inspiring sequence of events for absolutely everyone, except, arguably, the goose. but even then, how many gooses (geese?) get spoken of 20 years after they have been slain? it is Fabio and his dream and his ambition that the goose must be thankful to and/or for.

it will be a sad day if this is the last ever post i do which celebrates the anniversary someone who is ostensibly a model electing to slay a winged creature of the sky in a most decidedly curious way. let us see what dates of note crop up in the future.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vibes finds

g'day pop pickers

it is a common reality across our land that many of the high streets of the cities and towns are dominated by charity shops, look you see. whereas some say this is a "shame", lamenting the loss of traditional shops, there is quite obviously both a need and demand for such outlets. should i happen to be passing such a store, and if time permits, generally i will pop in and see what is on offer. 

these establishments tend to have quite a number of disc based donations for sale, whether DVD or CD. increasingly, i note, blu ray titles feature too. normally i browse the first two such circular things mentioned, and it is findings of the middle one that i write of today. 

well, yes, write of and show some pictures of. presumably it is the images which most of you would be most interested in, but should my writing bring some mild entertainment too then that's nice.

above you can see the not one, not four, not two but three (3) sets which i have picked up of late. these were all from different such charity stores, and came with different prices. yes, of course i will give cost details as we go. or rather as i go, for to say we presumes that you will indeed continue to read all of this. maybe, for all i know, the above picture has told you all that you needed to know.

on with it all, then, and first up is something that i could vaguely recall hearing about at the time but do not believe i ever saw. for fans of such information, this was indeed the first of the three to have been procured by me this year, but it is just an accident that it is on first.

behold, then, the splendid ways of Chegger's Choice, which is a compilation of "the forty worst songs ever", as selected by Keith "Cheggers" Chegwin. alas, the much loved Cheggers is no longer with us, but you may recall  number of moments from his career fondly, starting with appearing naked in Macbeth all the way through to appearing naked in some sort of quiz show. yes, lots in between those bookends, and most of it was conventionally dressed.

why is Cheggers dressed as a chicken on the cover? as far as i can work out it is so that they can subtitle the album as featuring "clucking awful songs", with clucking of course being a witty rhyming replacement for a naughty word which commences with f and ends with ucking.

the songs on the album? well, to say there are some controversial choices in regards of what Cheggers considered to be the worst of all time is to state the obvious. any compilation which sets out to represent the "best" or "worst" as in this case is always going to be subjective, and open to debate. with great credit, Cheggers embraced the controversy with some of the selections. he, for example, bravely sh!t all over the Cornish culture by including The Wurzels, h!t all over centuries of Spanish civilisation by selecting The Macarena and gave a big "f*** you" by having a song by The Krankies on it.

cost? 33p, to me, as it was part of some form of 3 for £1 sale. not bad, considering the original Woolworths receipt was in the disc, and it set back the original owner 1p south of £10 when they bought it. for those considering purchasing, a word of caution - some 10% of the artists who feature on this compilation now reside on the sex offenders register.

another double set, then, but not a 2 CD set. no, this is one of them "CD and DVD" combo packs, which were popular a while ago. they still are, as and when anyone makes and sells them.

it's a release off of the Official Chart company, from back when they just compiled charts and didn't go around messing with rules and regulations so as to make Ed Sheridan (or whatever) and that Adele seem better than they are in terms of chart records. whilst the CD element is a so-so selection of songs, the DVD is a game, one where you select from multiple choice answers on a wide range of chart related questions.

quite good, except for a slight flaw with the DVD. for some reason they seem to have made the "select" cursor the same colour as the background, so you can't tell which category you are going to have a go at. but still, good practice for if i ever get on that smart Pop Master quiz thing him off of Radio 2 hosts.

cost? well, also 33p. from a different charity shop to the one where i got Cheggers, but also in a 3 for £1 section. from what i recall at the same time i picked up the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, and an unspecified record off of the Stereophonics.

finally, then, off we go down under, so to speak, for a 2 CD set called Aussie BBQ. if this were to do what it said on the box, then it would give the listener a sense of the tunes what one might reasonably expect to hear on the wireless if they were at an Aussie barbie, in Australia. this is more or less gets partially correct.

on the plus side, there's a healthy representation of Jimmy Barnes on the disc, which is as how it would be in Australia. but i question some of the other choices. yes, i would expect to hear Men At Work and Mental As Anything at an Aussie barbie, but not the songs chosen here. Australians, for instance, would surely select Who Can It Be or Be Good Johnny over Down Under, and whereas Live It Up is a class tune, i'd rather expect it to be more earlier 80s Mentals on the go. further, i would argue that Kevin "Bloody" Wilson is compulsory at all Aussie barbies, and yet he is not represented here. neither, for that matter, is Bon era AC DC.

but still, a pretty good set. as is with keeping with the rest of the world, as in the bits that are not Australian, the 80s stuff is excellent, the 90s stuff indicates a brief flicker of a bright light still burns and the 00s onwards is just plain awful and dull.

cost? strictly speaking it should have been 50p, but it was in a 2 for £1 section and i could not find anything else to go with it. with all monies paid over ostensibly going to a good cause i rather just said take the £1 for this one alone, please and thank you.

well, there you have it. for me these were three great finds, with a real term cost of £1.66 but an actual cost of £3 i suppose.

should for some reason you have consulted this post for guidance and advice in regards of any of these titles, my view is yes. there is no reason whatsoever to not have any or all of them in your own collection. may they bring you as much merriment as they do me.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a profound message of hope from the good people of china to the enslaved masses of the eu

Nǐ hǎo


and so once again, look you see, our friends towards the east have elected to make me their conduit for a message. this is nothing new, of course, but this one is perhaps timely.

whereas by this stage one would assume that all and sundry are now truly tired of all this "brexit" business, in particular with regards to the "brexit means brexit" and "leave means leave" definitions that tend not to be quite so dictionary defining as you might expect, for the most part the Chinese have been quite quiet. that is, at least, until now.

yes, as usual they, being the Chinese, have elected to send me on their message to you, the people, via an encoded message sealed within one of them "fortune cookie" things. it is reasonably often that they pass them on to me in this way. whilst i am supposed to share them all here, normally i just forget to do so, and bin them. there is every chance that the Chinese are quite cross at me for doing so.

in this instance, however, i thought it prudent, or best, to make sure i conveyed the message they clearly wanted to send. the importance of this one can be observed or noted in the fact that it is so that the Chinese have presented the message in all of the major European languages, as well as in French.

so, there you have it. the message of hope from the Chinese. all events are blessings given to us to learn from is what they have to say to us. said it they have, it is entirely now down to us to listen to it, if we so wish.

there is every chance that the Chinese may elect to present further correspondence to me, so that i may share it here. if they do so, i will certainly be ready to make every effort to share it, so long as i do not throw it out prior to capturing a quick image.



duì bǐcǐ hěn hǎo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some more watching

heya


yes indeed. i have watched a few more films of late, look you see, and so i thought that i would pass some sort of comments, or observations on.

something of an unusual approach here, at least in terms of recent similar posts. rather than simply revisiting dearly loved or fondly remembered films that i have not seen for a while, in this instance i have kind of taken the time to watch that which i have not seen before. well, sort of. of the 8 (eight) films i shall write of, it is so that 50% i had seen before, 50% i had not.

what films, exactly or if you are of a mind to be so precisely? well, here's a quick gander at some of them.

indeed, with one notable exception the above may well indicate that once again i have been drawn to the realms of gratuitous sex and violence, or at the least scary horror stuff. this is indeed so, for it would appear that i am most interested in stuff of this nature for entertainment. many are, as point of fact. perhaps the world would be somewhat better if the people were honest of such, rather than feeling a need to hide it away.

anyway, on with the show, or if you like "the show must go on", to make a light and certainly cringe worthy reference to one of the films shown in the above.

no, i am not doing these in the order i watched them, just mostly or for the most part as the images uploaded. except for the last one, which by a quirk of fate was the one i had watched most recently at time or writing.

but, anyway, Sinister is first. perhaps the most direct thing i can say of it is that my awareness of it existing comes down to the power of advertising; i had not heard of it and only became aware of it off the trailer of another film i watched.

provenance of my copy? that rather smart Music Magpie website, where i bought this and one other below for a combined fee of £3, no questions asked, delivered. not at all bad, especially considering this one is one of them fancy blu ray discs.

the plot? it features that rather smart Ethan Hawke as a lecturer / writer. he has a chequered past, having written one celebrated book about a real life crime but writing one which got some facts wrong and caused a good deal of trouble. anyway, here he is, researching and writing another one. something of a twist is that he has moved his family, unbeknownst to them, into the actual house where the crime he intends to write of was committed. with the local constabulary divided over how interested they are in him being there, things take a most curious turn when he (Hawke) discovers a bunch of 8mm films and a projector in the house......

a superb film, in truth. yes, ostensibly a horror, but for the most part one which relies on great filmmaking to create shocks and suspense, rather than any overtly graphic images (although there are one or two). this has a suitable number of twists and turns on the kind of plot seen before, and was overall very refreshing and very enjoyable. excellent performances from all, in particular Mr Hawke, helped a great deal. it's possibly one to avoid if you are steadfastly against horror, but one to tinker with if you think you "might" want to try the genre.

another blu ray, then, and one that is pretty much suitable for all. one that could be argued should be viewing for all, in the form of the award winning, celebrated presentation of the life of Freddie Mercury and his band Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody.

provenance? actually full price, which i believe was £15 on the nose rather than the token £14.99, but a fee that i offset with some vouchers off of one store. i think it worked out that only £5 in real money was used to obtain it.

but what about the plot? i think i covered that earlier.

is it any good? oh, hell, yes. well, mostly. the lad playing Freddie is full worthy of all the awards and accolades, giving not just an impersonation but a solid, sound performance. i will go further and say that all the actors playing the band members absolutely nail what is at the least the public perception of them. credit in particular goes to the portrayal and presentation of one John Deacon, who would appear to have stepped aside from all things Queen in the last few years. the band appears to have gone to great lengths to show that, no matter, he is held with love and affection and remains just as important as all of them.

the only real "problem" with the film is the well documented "creation" of drama in an effort to give something of a compelling narrative to the movie. yes, the bit where they "distort" facts, as such. for all the wild and wonderful tales of sex, drugs, rock, roll and the very finest of excesses of fame and fortune, essentially they were, as people, as boring as, say, Coldplay. no tension, no inner fights, no creative differences, no (real) "Yoko" figure. and so, for the sake of making a two hour movie that audiences might expect, we get entirely made up things like that band splitting up, and distortions, such as when Freddie learned he had contracted AIDS.

a consequence of the above is that history will be distorted forever. not as badly as, say, Braveheart wildly made people believe an inaccurate (and plain wrong) version of the past, but in the same area. what one has to ask is, does it really matter? the people whose story it is have elected and readily agreed to change things for the film. if not them that can do so, then who?

we are, of course, about to get a wave of similar "biopics" due to the success of this. so much for "physical media being dead", by the way - north of 800,000 people here in the UK bought, like me, either the DVD or blu ray on the week of release. i am not convinced the ones coming in the wake of this will do well. the next "big" one is Rocketman, about Elton John. hmn. whereas there is no faulting his music or his talent, it is with interest i will see if he as a person is embraced by audiences quite like Freddie. a suspicion would be no.

a film that is absolutely, positively not for all, and one that i would never ever recommend (people have to decide for themselves) is Cannibal Holocaust. quite a peculiar place in history this one has, for many people have heard of it, what with it being the "poster boy" for the "video nasty" witch hunts in 80s England and its general notoriety. a notoriety well earned.

provenance of my copy, a shiny blu ray disc of Danish origin? that flea market or car boot sale of the 21st century which is known as "facebook marketplace". despite having the claimed to be uncut version on DVD (a couple of copies, i think), the lure of it in blu ray glory for £10 was not to be overlooked.

does this film have a plot? yes, as point of fact - a really good one, with just how good it is being seen in how frequently it has been copied over the years. a gentleman is tasked with going off to South America to try and find out what happened to a team of renowned, celebrated film makers that set off to make a documentary about isolated Amazonian tribes but disappeared without a trace. off he goes, finding as he does the footage they made. footage which, when watched, leads to a most shocking discovery.....

make absolutely no mistake. some of the scenes in this film are tough to tolerate. having seen it a couple of times before, there are one or two moments when i turned away from the screen because i knew what was coming. yes, for those familiar with it, the "turtle" scene is at the top of that list. but, also, this is not simplistic exploitation. far from it. the film was way ahead of the game in terms of subject, looking as it does as "fake news" and our perceptions of it, not to mention the idea of the dangers of the Western world looking at other parts of the planet and trying to hold them to account, measured by some wonky standards.

it is probably so that there are films which contain more graphic, intense and explicit scenes than are featured in Cannibal Holocaust. the difference would be few, if any, would be so disturbing, shocking or haunting as little within this genre has ever been made so well. use extreme caution when approaching this film, and if you are not sure that you can handle observing images that you will never be able to shake from your mind, just plain avoid it.

so, on to another film i had watched before, then, and one which is also laced with some high levels of graphic violence. little of it in Hobo With A Shotgun is done for artistic or observational reasons, though, just for fun.

are you really all that interested in the provenance of my discs? if so, a rather smart shop that was around about town for a while but has now sadly gone. they sold DVDs and blu rays for £1 or £2 a go, this was one of them but i cannot recall exactly which i paid. either was fine.

plot? one sellotaped together due to "public demand" after the fake trailer for this film proved to be popular when screened with Grindhouse, that double bill of Planet Terror and Death Proof in which i turned out the fake trailers were better. anyway, yes, a hobo, or if English a tramp, gets fed up with a local family being crime bosses, so goes on a violent rampage to bring an end to their reign. very violent.

it's ok, really. that is about the best i can say. no way was it as good as it seemed the first time i watched  it, but maybe that is more me and my perceptions rather than the film not ageing well. no way is it anywhere near as good as the one other film which stemmed from the fake Grindhouse trailers, the magnificent Machete. but, you know, a lot of people think rather fondly of Rutger Hauer, and so seeing him do stuff is always splendid. basically, or essentially, there are many films a lot worse than Hobo With A Shotgun, but also there are many what are better. think Snakes On A Plane, or even Four Weddings And A Funeral - if not so much as the plot but the entire premise is right there in the title, give consideration to how you now already know pretty much all that is required by the film.

to say that i re-watched Hobo With A Shotgun purely "on a whim" is fair, and the same is true of my reasons for opting to have another look at V/H/S, a film i do not believe i looked at since it first came out. yes, i watched the "first sequel", which i think was imaginatively called 2, but not the third, yet, which i believe is called Viral. one day, maybe.

of provenance? actually it might be from the shop mentioned above, but my current thinking is that it was off no less than Pounland, for £1, the one October when they were selling loads and loads of DVDs and, as is the case here, blu ray discs in celebration of Halloween. should that be so, not at all bad for a blu ray copy with one of them slipcase covers that collectors seem excited about.

plot? a bunch of hoodlums make (small) coins of money by setting up and recording pranks to put on "the internet" or similar, usually very unpleasant ones degrading ladies. when they are offered the chance of more money, they take a job breaking into a house to obtain a rare VHS tape. this leads to them watching a number of tapes (i think 3 or 4) to try and find the right one, whilst all sorts of mysterious, spooky and scary things appear to be going on around them......

this one has held up really rather well. in this century where the focus of the majority appears to be to make things that are instantly forgettable and readily disposable, V/H/S deserves a lot of credit for being good after a few years and remaining entertaining on repeat viewing. if, say, Blair Witch Project was responsible for reviving the "lost / found footage" genre pretty much kicked off by Cannibal Holocaust, it is reasonable and fair to say that V/H/S better understood the concept, and knew how to make an entertaining film on the basis of the premise.

my recollection was that 2 was somehow better. if that is so, i need to dig that out and watch again, as this first one seemed a good deal better than i had recalled it being. and, yes, i shall probably go and have a look for the third one at a reasonable price, see what i have been missing out on.

oh yes, another one i had had very much, well and truly watched before - a few times - in the form of Who Dares Wins. the version, as you can see, that was the film what has Lewis Collins in it, and not the much loved Channel 4 series. although if i could get my hands on that i would watch it all again.

maybe something of a noble or at the least notable provenance with this one, for it cost me all of 49p at one of them charity shops. should you wish to be pedantic, 50p, for i saw no reason to trouble the charity shop for 1p change.

plot? here goes. British Intelligence, back in the days when they could be relied on and didn't just "sex up" stuff, has become aware of a plot by a militant, left-wing anti-nuclear group to kill ambassadors, viscounts and what have you. in a well staged set up, Captain Peter Skellen (Collins) of the SAS is sent undercover to infiltrate the gang, work out what is going on and take whatever actions necessary to stop it all. as events unfold, Skellen finds himself quite trapped, and the plan turns out to be far more ambitious and dangerous than first suspected.......

if i recall this was made in the wake of, or indeed a celebration of, the infamous "Iran Embassy Siege", where the world first saw the SAS in action. when was that, 80 or 81 or similar. as for the long term intent, i am uncertain if the main pitch was to either "suggest" Lewis Collins would "make a good new Bond", or if it was that Skellen would "make a good replacement" for the Bond films, which were, in the views of some, getting quite tired and stale then. well, neither happened.

this isn't half bad. preposterous and contrived, yes, but it comes from a far simpler time when "good" and "bad" was very clear cut, thanks to the cold war. it has a plot which does not over-complicate itself for no reason, lags a bit in the middle but overall offers solid enough entertainment, even on repeat viewing over the course of 30+ years. plus, really decent cast. Who Dares Wins used to get a fair few screenings on TV, and as i recall the newspapers gave copies away when - briefly - giving away free DVDs was a thing for newspapers. should for some reason you have missed those incidents and have not ever seen it, then yes, it probably is a film worth having a gander of.

now, then, one that i am going to slightly censor the title of, for the benefit of filters, because the stated name on the cover, Mutanterres Blodige O or something, is better known in the English language speaking world as P0rn0 Holocaust.

provenance? the modern day equivalent of "won it in a game of cards", which is to say one of them ebay auction things. not 100% sure of what i paid in the end, but it was south of £10, for with very rare exceptions that is the max i pay on that market place for any disc.

the plot? well, hard to say really. this Danish copy (i think it is Danish) offers no English soundtrack or subtitles, but i did my best to follow it ok. according to imdb, who i have linked to here as a thank you, the plot is a group of castaways wash ashore on a deserted island in this Italian sex/gore movie. They are unaware that a sex-crazed radioactive monster is also on the island. that sounds more or less like i watched, yes, so i suppose that is the plot. not that i am at all aware of anyone who would pick up a film with this title and have the slightest bit of interest in what the plot is, or if you can understand what anyone in it is actually saying.

let us, as always, be honest here. this film was made with absolutely no ambitions other than to be entertainment for those who want it; those enthralled with the extreme, or who quite like shock, titillation and so forth. it is all the film has to offer anyone, so if you want it you will find it here in abundance. whereas i kind of appreciated watching a very blatantly complete and uncensored, cleaned up DVD, one really can't help think that it is a film one was always supposed to watch on a murky, dirty VHS, handed over or passed around in a relatively discreet way.

more horror stuff? sure, a bit more (closer to) mainstream this time, then, with The House Of The Devil, which is another film i had not even heard of prior to ordering it.

provenance? bought same time as i picked up Sinister. as that one would have been £1.99 on its own i figured that i might as well have a look at what else they had to take advantage of 2 for £3, saw this and figured why not. if nothing else, everything about the title and the cover reviews suggested there would at least be some decent sex and violence.

not so much, as it turns out, not so much. plot? set in the early 80s, a student struggling with bills takes on a well paying job to babysit. it turns out that not all is as it seems, and she may well be made a sacrifice in a ritual which is sort of explicitly hinted at in the title.....

i am not sure if it is correct to say this is "not bad" or just "boring". the plot, pacing and that are been there, done it all before - slow build up for an hour with one or two bursts of action, then shoving all the "decent stuff" the audience came for in the last 20 minutes or so. a nice touch was filming it in "soft focus VHS or US TV broadcast quality" to give it a feel for the era in which it was set, but that is about all.

the film contains zero nudies and limited bursts of violence or graphic images, so basically it failed to deliver what i reasonably expected. a nice touch, though, was that him who played Tooth Fairy in Manhunter and Cain in RoboCop 2 was in it. it is a film which was made quite clearly on the cheap, set out with low aspirations of success and apparently nearly met them. not a great deal i can say other than it is not good, not bad, not too disappointing if you elect to watch and yet your life is no worse of should you give it a miss.

so, finally, then, the most recent one what i have watched prior to writing all of this. it is Videoman, and it is in Swedish with unavoidable yet quite welcome English subtitles.

provenance? that facebook place again. i just happened to notice it, the title caught my eye and i figured for £5 it had to be worth a go, especially as nowhere else seemed to have it at such a low cost.

the plot? interesting. whilst the description says one thing (a thriller, possible horror), the BBFC certificate ("strong sex") quite another, what i experienced was neither. so, let me give you my variation of it.

a chap - Italian but in Sweden - who became king of the video stores in the 80s and 90s is rather washed up in the 00s and the 10s, but the current "VHS revival" gives him hope. whilst brokering a deal for a lot of money for a rare VHS tape and facing several mishaps, he accidentally befriends a lonely, alcoholic lady who clutches at the memories she has of the 80s, seemingly because that is what she recalls as being her happiest time.

essentially this is a really good drama, with some decent suspenseful "whodunnit" moments, one or two genuine scares and one tame yet explicit scene (not really "strong sex" but that is the BBFC for you) which is pure comedy gold in context. you get a lot of metaphor stuff - clutching to the past via VHS and fashion because you are uncertain or unhappy with the present - and some inspired comments on just how damaging we have allowed how many "likes" we get on social media as a measure of our place in the world. there's some really, really good dialogue in this one.

drama is the best i can do for you. maybe thriller is closer, or "thriller drama" if such a category exists. no, not a unique film which one cannot describe. yes, as hinted above, it is also very funny in places. just a really good film indeed, and further one that i would wholeheartedly recommend to pretty much anyone. to be honest, prior to this my knowledge of Swedish cinema pretty much started with Swedish Erotica and never particularly moved on, bar the original adaptation of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, etc. if they have done more stuff like Videoman, then i am keen to see.

and wow. phew. that's that, then.

no, as usual i have no idea at all if any, many, some, a few, most or none of the comments above have been of the slightest interest, never mind use. but hey, thanks for reading anyhow.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lynx leather and cookies under review

hello there


and so here we are again, look you see. more of my personal business in terms of personal hygiene, with it once again being the latest "good idea" (monstrosity) thought up by them what make the lynx deodorant, or axe deodorant depending on which part and in which corner of the world you stand. perhaps sit, as you read this, but if you want to stand up and read it, that's fine, knock yourself out.

not content with just singular scents, it would seem that lynx (axe) has now gone the path of "blended". only they don't call them blended deodorants, for that would be silly and possibly get them sued off of them what do the "blended" shampoos and that. evidently the dictionary and the creative thinking at lynx did not get as far as "fusion" for a name, so they have called the new range "collision". great, very catchy guys and girls.

there are a couple of these "collision" ones out, but the one i have been experimenting with thus far has been, and there is a clue in the title, one called "leather and cookies". not, you would think, two items or things or objects likely to have a collision, but i am not privy to either how lynx thinks of these things, or indeed for that matter what their target demographic - feral teenagers - get up to.

yes. as you can see quite, or relatively, clearly, i have given this "collision" a fair go. if you consider using three (not two and not four) cans of it as being fair. having considered the matter, i do.

a word for my English, UK or at the very least "non-USA" readers on what this "cookies" business pertains to. some research says that "cookies" are what the Americans call "biscuits". for them, and i know not why, what an actual biscuit is would be what we call "scones". and no, so far as i can tell, they do not eat their scones ("biscuits") in the proper way at all, abstaining from jam and clotted cream and instead drowning them in gravy, rounding the dish off with something called "grits".

if i take as a given that you are quite aware of what leather is, and perhaps bravely assume our friends in America have not taken it upon themselves to redefine the word, then we are left with the quandary of just why the two items embraced by lynx would "collide" and what, in their imagination, would the scent of such be.

that is indeed me, or i, in a room full of mirrors, resplendent in some lynx collision leather and cookies deodorant. although two ladies did speak to me in a most civil, splendid and favorably friendly and polite way prior to me entering this room full of mirrors, i did not find myself any more or less attractive than would be normal. with this being the case, the sole purpose of lynx - it being, as far as i can tell, for feral teenagers to attract each other for the engagement of sexual exploits and experimentation which comes with you - has not especially been tested properly. sorry.

what does it smell of? nothing, in particular. it does not come across as being particularly leathery, and no it does not have a scent of biscuits or "cookies" or scones either. just a bland presence, really. maybe that is the point, you know. they have gone to all this trouble to "collide" leather and "cookies" to show the world that it really is not worth the effort of doing. should that be so, then may we all learn from this confusing experiment.

not content with mixing (colliding, sorry) leather and cookies, they have gone and arsed around with the spray button. gone, now, is the wide one with the square, replaced as you can see with a much thinner one with an "x" in it. this displeases me a considerable amount, the experience and ease of beautifying oneself with the spray is no longer enjoyable.

do i regret rushing off and purchasing not two, not four, but three tins of this? absolutely. it was hasty for me to do so without trying it first. no further ones shall be purchased, that i can assure you. so take as good a look as you wish at the next picture, for it shall be the last i post of this wretched stuff here.

if for some reason you have read this far then i can only conclude you are interested in what i have to say on the subject of lynx (axe) deodorant. for your further satisfaction, then, here are a few posts from days gone by.....

lynx apollo (kind of)

lynx gold something something

lynx you anthony joshua

lynx you 

lynx black night (easily their best one)

lynx cool metal (with video)

lynx final edition

no, i am not endorsed or sponsored by lynx, despite my accidental status as some sort of "social media influencer". as point of fact, looking at some of my observations, i dare say that they would prefer it for me to cease using their products.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but did they ever

who is and who isn't


yes, indeed, i agree, look you see. it is terrible to leave unanswered questions, or if you like questions that are not answered. many cases of this exist, to be sure, like for instance (or in particular) where was the magnificent show FlashForward going to go next.

it would be amiss (wrong) of me to leave a question unanswered. so yes, in terms of this post, relating as it did an unforgettable moment of change in my life, HMV did indeed get around to stocking the new, or most recent, or if you like 2019, superb album off of Ian Brown, Ripples.

that is indeed the back, or if you will reverse, of the CD. it would seem they just shoved it in the Ian Brown section (as is right) on the bottom shelf, and seemingly immediately placed it in the "2 for £15" category.

no, i did not  purchase another copy, what with the tape and disc i ordered off of the official store arriving in the post covering the majority of my requirements for this album. but, i would say you know but many would guess, indeed i was tempted to.

why was i in HMV? William. he wanted something called the soundtrack to something called Spiderman Into The Spiderverse, which i believe is some sort of cartoon or animated film. this was obtained, with me paying £1 extra for a "special edition" which would appear to be special due to hologram "spidey eyes" on the cover.

has this righted a wrong? i am not sure. on the one side it was the inability to just walk into a shop - HMV or otherwise - and be able to buy the album that saw Ripples debut in the chart at 4 and fall out of the charts the very next week. the other side says that, in this era of manipulation via streaming, this was a sensational chart result based on online orders alone for an artist who has a "traditional" fanbase that actually likes going to record shops.




who is and who isn't

commercial nostalgia

heya


oh, the irony. if irony is, look you see, the correct term. whereas i have resisted the appeals and temptations to "monetize" this blog by allowing adverts to appear, here we go with a post that is just about dedicated to advertisements. this is done, at the least with a difference, and certainly for no personal gain off of me.

i was browsing that there car boot sale ("bootie") of this century, ebay, when i noticed something of interest. actually several things, but for the purpose of this post one in particular. that was a listing offering a variety of dvd discs featuring no more and no less than advertisements. not just any advertisements, but ones from days gone by.

call it impulse or curiosity or both, but i bought a set. this was all for not an unreasonable price, for it was south of £10 to obtain not five, not seven, but six discs all full of adverts, with the adverts coming from the 60s, 70s and, of most appeal, 80s. although you are of course free to determine whether or not it is wise to spend any money for the privilege of watching adverts, which at heart are trying to sell you something further.

as it turns out, i am most delighted with my purchase. the adverts are compelling viewing, whether that is compelling in an expected, unexpected, strangely or curious way. i mean, you can decide on that. they are, after all, an insight into the way thing were, how life used to be, and all that. no, i am not saying then was better or worse than now, just different.

some samples of the adverts? of course. in truth i could have grabbed and uploaded hundreds of images here, so much of it is fascinating. maybe one day i shall, but for now i have limited selections to just one of the discs - 1 of 4 80s ads DVDs - and further tried to limit it to products or items which no longer exist, lest i be accused, in my unsolicited status of being a "social media influencer", of endorsing any of them.

like, for instance, the above. what is it? part of an advert for Oracle. as in teletext. the BBC had Ceefax, the commercial channels ITV and Channel 4 had this one. if you are none the wise, teletext let you get news, sports results, weather predictions and other forms of information via your tv set. yes, a bit like a quasi, prototype "internet", just without all the mucky filth and certainly without any "streaming" or "illegal downloads".

as far as i am aware teletext vanished as of 2012, when the whole (or just about all) of the UK moved to "digital broadcasting". this is a bit of a shame, really. just as is the case with Morse Code, i would have thought it prudent to keep it around as a backup or safety net, for it requires no complex technology to broadcast a message to a wide audience.

what, other than teletext, did one use to obtain information in the era before the internet? publications, most notably magazines. such as Look In.

that, as far as i can tell, is an edition of Look In, a trendy popular magazine for "the kids", from December 1985. how do i know this? well, that's Shakin' Stevens, the self-styled Welsh The King, Elvis Presley, on the cover, looking like he was on the set of the Merry Christmas Everyone video. this was a single scheduled for Christmas 1984, put he wisely pulled it, not fancying the competition off of Frankie's The Power Of Love, Last Christmas off of Wham! and of course Do They Know It's Christmas? by Band Aid. shrewd move, for he claimed the coveted Christmas 85 number one spot, i believe.

magazines were class. yes the internet is smart for "free" (so long as you have paid for the equipment and connection) information in abundance, but i quite miss the filter. for something to be committed to print then it generally had to pass certain measures of quality standards. on the net it is a free for all, where anything can be published. hence this blog existing, i suppose.

you have seen enough and you want to get some DVDs of these ads for yourself? sure. the lad who sold them to me requested i "tell my friends", so here is the bit of paper he included to do just that with.

telling my friends is one thing, but that is possibly not happening here. from what i can tell the larger number of readers of this blog are the many who simply do not care for me, and just check in from time to time so as to reassure themselves that they are better, or in some way superior. yet they might want some of these advert discs too, so there you go.

anyway, back to some screens of adverts, and indeed one for a product you cannot get here any more. well, at least, not get with any ease. if i say an Australian product then you would automatically assume a lager. this would be correct, so here is one that has not been seen on the shelves in the UK for ten years, or if you like a decade, now.

yes, indeed, Castlemaine XXXX. the advert was rather splendid, featuring a chap go into a "creek" in the "outback" to retrieve some cans of this, safe in the knowledge that there were no sharks about, but unaware of that being the case due to the crocodiles ate them all.

why is XXXX no longer available in the UK (outside of specialist Australian importers), and has not been since 2009? licencing. whoever had the licence to sell it here either did not renew it or Castlemaine (presumably) opted not to licence it in the UK any more. perhaps it was not profitable, or something, but may well turn out to be as and when (if) the UK leaves the EU, as maybe XXXX will be cheaper to bring in to our nation than Stella or Heineken.

not that the UK is bereft of Australian lager. Fosters is still quite the big seller here. this i would always put down to the fact that Paul "Hoges" Hogan, of Crocodile Dundee fame, was employed to advertise it in the 80s. that was a bit of branding much cherished and not easily forgotten.

something you really don't see adverts for any more is anything to do with smoking, like the quite class Panama cigars advert image above. from what i recall cigarette adverts were taken off the tele in England in the 70s, but cigar ones were allowed until some stage in the 90s. there were cigarette adverts in cinemas too, and i am sure seeing an advert for fags before The Goonies or perhaps even Cannonball Run II is why i am a smoker today.well, we are in an era where everyone gets to blame something for something for no apparent reason.

yes, you can still get Panama cigars, and indeed further they are packaged in packets of six, for your convenience. no, i do not smoke them often, but i have had one before. it is not all that often i have a cigar as such, but out of devotion to David Lee Roth and proper Van Halen (as in when David Lee Roth was in the band) i perhaps should.

now then, a bit of a controversial one, this next one. at a glance, through the eyes of today you may suspect, on the basis of who is in it, what is worn and what is being consumed, that this is one of them "gay agenda" adverts, the kind of which some get quite excited about whereas some of us just go dig what you dig. this is not what is happening in the ad at all.

as point of fact, that is Tennent's Pilsner (i think that is how you spell it) being promoted. that was Scotland's top drink export except for McEwans and whisky, and remained the most popular one they did right up until vast swathes of the Scottish nation discovered Buckfast ("Buckie").

what you are looking at there are three extremely, perhaps none more so, hetero gents what are exceedingly comfortable with their sexuality. they are simply wearing the fashions of the day, whereas such garments today would be worn to signify that you are a chap who quite likes other chaps, back in the 80s shirts such as those, and indeed the hairstyles, turned you into an absolute fanny magnet. especially if you drove a Ford Capri.

more controversial adverts and interpretations? i do not see why not. few would ever have been as likely to one day be upsetting as this one off of the normally quite innocent company Homepride.

yeah, you are not really allowed to differentiate or highlight differences between races, nationalities and what have you today. so, no, really no company today would be brave or bold enough to present a cartoon caricature of a Chinese gentleman to greet some caricatures of English gentlemen with the intention being to flog chinese style food to consumers.

what really amazes me is how much time, money, creativity and effort was put into the adverts back in the 70s and 80s. there was only one channel that you could screen them on until the (very) early 80s, and then it was the case that only two channels carried adverts until the early (ish) 90s. basically, with a captive audience, you could have put any old rubbish on and millions would have seen it.

but no. instead they chose to make adverts memorable, and works of art. this does not happen today, which is strange. with literally hundreds of channels in the UK showing adverts you would have thought the competition would increase. it has not, the quality and standards of adverts have dropped to being as cheap as possible, and none will be remembered like these ones from days gone by. well, at the least, not remembered fondly.

oh yes, that is indeed George Cole, starring in an advert for something called Leeds Liquid Gold, which i believe has something or other to do with money and fiscal matters. celebrity endorsements were a massive thing back then, which follows on what i was saying before the George Cole picture distracted you. on my 70s adverts disc, for instance, there are members of the entertainment aristocracy such as Cilla Black, James Hunt, the annoying one out of Monty Python and no less than Charles "mother f*****g" Dance in adverts, the latter interestingly enough for posh sherry.

it is hard to say which celebrity endorsement was the most successful, except for maybe Paul "Hoges" Hogan and Fosters, or even Michael Jackson and then Madonna for Pepsi. but the Leeds bank or building society landing George Cole as their frontman was a coup of note. for context, for our American friends, in the 80s landing George Cole to endorse you (for a huge some of money) was probably like getting Jack Nicholson, right after Terms Of Endearment came out, to advertise some sort of "Mom and Pop" store in Wisconsin. as in, it just would not have seemed possible.

any other examples of celebrity endorsements? sure, oodles, or loads. but for now, a personal favourite of mine for you.

yes, that is who you think it is. it is Daley Thompson, star of the boss computer game Daley Thompson's Decathalon and occasional (gold) medal winning Olympiad, chugging a smart can of Lucozade, back in the days when they did it in cans. do they still do them in cans? not that i am aware of.

can you still get, or play, Daley Thompson's Decathlon here in the wastelands of the 21st century? indeed, certainly, surely. as a general rule i would always advocate you do this via a Commodore 64 "emulator" for your PC, but in this instance there is valid reason for doing so. for reasons best known to themselves, the designers of the ZX Spectrum version unwisely elected to make Daley a white dude in the game.

more things which were commonplace then but you really don't get now. how about recalling the era and the glory of Radio Rentals?

things were expensive in the 70s and 80s. as generally true as this was, it was made worse by the subjugation of the proletariat and the working classes by the Thatcher regime. unlike now, "credit" was not a thing, and one did not get a credit card unless they could prove that they had the means (and intention) of paying money spent on it back. with little or no other option, people thus rented things like televisions, video machines (VHS if they were intelligent), washing machines and so on. and Radio Rentals were seen as the kings of this service.

no way would something like Radio Rentals exist today. other than such items as those listed now being made and sold very cheap (thank you, China), for those that are still unable to afford there is a dazzling range of credit and loan facilities to choose from. yes, sure, recklessly lending money to people you know cannot afford it has a down side, such as the minor economic wobble of 2008 or whenever, but a small price to pay so that the people can have shiny things.

how about, in conclusion, a "two for the price of one" for things that do not exist any more? although now that i think, one of them might.

yes, indeed, that is Our Price records advertising the fact that there is a new 5 Star, or if you will Five Star, album out. or there was. actually there might be now, i am not convinced they have disappeared. with other bands doing revivals, maybe i am remembering something on the radio recently about them doing something new.

selling physical copies of music was big business in the 70s and 80s (and some of the 90s) as that was the only way to actually get the vibes. it was worth advertising an album in an expensive tv advert because it would increase sales. now, of course, it is virtually unthinkable. the only album i can recall being advertised on tv in its own right of late was Blood Red Roses by Sir Rod Stewart. actually, as that sold a lot, maybe that says something to the industry. maybe it was a dream, but i suspect there were also ads for Barbs' lovely Walls album on tv over Christmas.

well, anyway, that's enough of that. should there be interest, or if i get bored, i may well do another post about these discs loaded with adverts. yes, more screenshots shall be in them, and if i work out how to do so on this new(ish) pc i may well yet made a short video of some of them.

many thanks as ever for reading, and i hope you have found something of interest or entertainment in it all.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aspects of another society

hi


of all the things that i had hoped, or dared to dream, or even realistically expected to become, being a "social media influencer" has not particularly featured, look you see. this is a title, or if you will status, which has unexpectedly been thrust upon me by the effect, or affect, my efforts on this blog have had.

what does it mean, to be a "social media influencer"? i do not know, except that it would appear to make me - in quite an unsolicited manner - the contemporary of some rather peculiar people. them strange ones what seem to make an awful lot of money plugging things online. which, now that i think, i do not.

just how did this happen? mostly it came about because of a post i did last year, Aspects Of Our Society. this informative and insightful look (if i say so myself) at the English way of doing things would seem to have been taken quite a shine to by some. i know as fact, for instance, that the EU has inspected my report and has used it as the frame of reference for that whole 'brexit' thing. further, the Australians have seen it, decided that us English Bruce's and Sheila's are in fact "fair dinkum" and so have dropped all ideas of republicanism.

i feel under some pressure, then, to ensure that i retain my "influencer"status. even if it means i must speak or promote ("influence", i suppose) about things i know next to nothing of. which i am certain no fellow influencer ever, ever does. to this end, let me, or if you will us, look at aspects of another society, as promised by the title. specifically, the American society.

this has not been chosen at random. for several years there has been an inexplicable, for may irresponsible, rush to have our very own society become irreversibly Americanized. examples of this are in how Poundland from time to time sell those red "baseball" (poor man's rounders) caps with "make America great again" written on them, as the (quite) popular incumbent US President can from time to time be seen resplendent in. also, for some reason certain elements of the UK population take it upon themselves to celebrate things like Thanksgiving and July 4th, with one suspecting they are somewhat missing the point of the latter.

whilst this has some plus points - filth, smut and mucky videos seem to flow like water, for instance - there are several downsides. my knowledge of American society is just about 98% based on what i have seen on the tele and in films, and quite frankly i am horrified about the idea of living in a world where no one ever says "goodbye" at the end of a phone call, simply instead hanging up when they are done speaking.

above this writing is a rudimentary video. you may well have seen this on the internet before, and my thanks and credit to whoever filmed it and initially "uploaded" it "online". to my knowledge this video is a fair and accurate representation of what the whole of American society is like and all about, except of course for the parts not shown.

yes, indeed, i do have some exceptionally good friends in America. whereas i run the risk of upsetting or "offending" them with my interpretation of their society, there is always the chance that anything i do could do that to someone. besides, i would like to think they are well aware of my ways by now, and are quite used to it all.

let us start this, my, our, look at aspects of American society with this key, perhaps pivotal figure in the background of the video. it is my understanding that he, if it is indeed a chap, is one of them "busker" characters, playing music to entertain passers by in the hopes of being thanked with coins of money.

for us English, a stark and quite notable difference is immediately observed. the American version of a busker takes a natural shine to playing the drums in public. proof of this is in this video, and of course in the celebrated film Taxi Driver, when Robery De Niro and her off of Moonlighting walk past a drumming busker on their way to see one of them mucky, filthy films i mentioned earlier in passing.

here in England, we are of course used to our buskers normally having a guitar, and treating all and sundry to their interpretation of Wonderwall off of Oasis. from time to time we get a "posh" busker what has a violin and can do Game Of Thrones theme, but no, we don't really have drummers setting up. which is odd, considering how we treasure our drummers here, with particular emphasis on Keith Moon. should we go full tilt American and have a lot of buskers doing drumming on our streets, one suspects there will be a good deal of tutting.

but not all aspects of this American society some of us apparently crave are quite so good as drummers all over the place begging for money. there are some darker elements to it all, ones which should cause worry.

like, for instance, the immense proclivity Americans have for simply abandoning items like luggage and, well, luggage everywhere. this would not go down well at all.

in America, if someone just abandons a suitcase like how they have done here in this video, it either gets stolen, ignored, handed in to the police or retrieved by the ostensible owner. not so in England, at least not now. so sensitive are we to such things that the entire area in which the abandoned item is found gets fenced off, the bomb squad get called in to blow it up, millions are spent on a police inquiry and compulsory counselling is provided to anyone who was within a dozen postcodes ("ZIP codes") of the incident, so that they may come to terms with their plight and their shared tragedy.

can we adapt to a world in which we accept that things from time to time get left behind or otherwise abandoned, and not hold a public inquest into how it happened? i would really like to think that yes, we could, but at this stage it is difficult to see the authorities allowing it.

if there is one part of the Americanisation of our society that i am really, really looking forward to then it is the proliferation of what they call "pimps" and "hoes" wandering our streets. these are really smart, they are.

going on what i have seen, wise is it the person who elects early on to select the role of pimp as a career. other than getting to dress most dapper and drive really extravagant cars, pimps seem to spend their day "keepin' their hoes in line" (whatever that means), cutting those who "cross" them with a blade or otherwise inflicting harm, and assisting the constabulary with their inquiries and investigations into certain not entirely legal incidents which the pimp had absolutely nothing to do with but would appear to know who did and will share such with the asking officer if the "heat" gets too "hot".

on the whole the term "hoe" strikes me as derogatory, but it is not for me to question how Americans use words. except their incorrect use of the word "fanny". anyway, when one watches films and shows on the tele it seems these "hoes" work absolutely everywhere in America, i do wonder sometimes if that is the biggest profession over there. it does reflect that they are more relaxed and at ease with that sort of thing (sex) than we are here. anyway, as far as i can see the role of the hoe is to be briefly employed by somewhat lonely gentlemen after an arrangement has been discussed with the pimp, and to do such on repeat until such time as a handsome rich bloke in a limo turns up and offers to marry them.

but American society is not all an idyllic wonderland of pimps, hoes, drummers and luggage. there are flaws in their society, just like ours.

one such thing is the plight of the homeless, or if you will the tramps. whereas over here that is what we call them, in America it seems they are called "vagrants" or "bums". in respect of the latter, American gentlemen visiting our land might want to consider being very careful about how they use the word "bums" when speaking to an English gentleman, lest there be any sort of unexpected misunderstanding.

here in England, it is the job of the tramp, or if you will "vagrant", to maintain a perfectly balanced scent of stale urine, and to ask of passing members of the public a donation of 10p (a "dime"), ostensibly for a cup of tea although i know of no place which sells such so cheap. this all changes when we are fully Americanised. from what i have seen, it is the job of the American "bum" to perpetually collect scrap metal in a shopping trolley, to always have immaculate teeth, to observe and accurately recount to police officers the details of any crime which they happen to witness "being perpetrated", and from time to time go on a significant shooting spree with a shotgun, going on that one film i watched with him out of Blade Runner in it. no, not him, the other one.

finally, at least in terms of this particular look at aspects of another society, does America have a lot of what we here in England call twats? oh, goodness me, yes they do.

generally, though, Americans do not use our (superior) words for such. if one were to call someone in America a twat, or a w@nker, or even a d!ckhead, they may be unaware of why this is so. for some reason they use other (inferior) terms, such as "as$hole", "jerk" and "douchebag". nope, no idea on the latter, but yes it does sound like it might be French and so undoubtedly it is both a fitting and apt way to express displeasure at the actions of a gent.

the American version of a twat is not, it would seem, all that different from our own. it might be fair to say they are the same worldwide. being obnoxious is a major trait, and oblivious to the needs or welfare of others comes in to it. twats do things like block up public transport by insisting on retaining their backpack on their back at all times, or standing in doorways or other such places where people wish to walk. also, you can invariably count on them to do a significant percentage below the speed limit on roads designated for high speeds, and then inexplicably accelerate to a slightly higher speed above the limit in low speed areas.

quite a few of you will at this point be asking of the biggest twats in English society, namely vegans who cannot get on silently with being vegans and cyclists who cannot see an alternate to their "right" to ride in the middle of the road. yes, i am sure American has these brands of twats too. but, also, America has generally relaxed gun laws. so one presumes they just eat and cycle in a less twat way, lest they be shot.

well, anyway, there you have it. i am quite sure that his has been enough "influencing" for one post. for those that would usually find interest in this sort of thing, most happy day if such is true of that which you have read.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!