vibes mix

heya


quite nearly i said that, look you see, it is not normal for people that i do not know to approach me with questions. and then i remembered that this is not strictly speaking true. for a while i was, for some rather inexplicable reason, the "go to" guy for a provincial BBC Radio station to ask questions of. these questions usually pertained to a news matter or some other such concern for the day. no, i have no idea if any of my snippets were ever broadcast; but if you suspect you may have heard me speak on a range of subjects, well then so much the better.

should it be the case that i get an approach with a request to name the "greatest vibes compilation ever", i would be stuck somewhat. there are a number of contenders. chief would be Now That's What I Call Music 4, which i had on tape, and Now That's What I Call Music 6, which i still have on vinyl. yes, from time to time my eyes do wander over the former in terms of tapes similar to what i had being available for sale on that there ebay.

also, Australia. i have in my custody two fine, fine Australian compilation records what my Dad once bought. well, bought. they are 1981 Over the Top and 1982 With A Bullet. both are, frankly and despite the lack (due to when they were released) of Frankie, excellent.

now that i think, i am pretty sure Now That's What I Call Music 8 was smart, too. and the 13 volume, maybe, just to break up the even number sequence. but of course none of them are pictured above.

instead, what you are seeing in the glory of Commodore 64 mode is one called The Best...Album in the World...Ever! my understanding from the cassette label is that it is as point of fact volume or edition 5 of this, although it does not appear to make this clear on the artwork.

the tapes of this gem are ones i picked up either in 1997 or 1998. i made the investment on a trip back home, for of course at the time i was living my exile years in the Africa of the South. for those with a keen sense of the importance of provenance, the CD copy is one i picked up in the last couple of years for a silly low price; i suspect south of £2.

you probably, now that i look at it, can't make out the tracklist on that above picture. should you be really or particularly interested, well then here is a link to the full tracklisting.

my car stereo at the time, smart as it was, could only have one tape in it at a time. if it had been one where you could load two in, then these two tapes might as well have been welded in to it from 97 or 98 through to, say, 2001 or 2002 or whenever it was exactly when that particular blew up, through no fault of my own, on the busiest section of the busiest highway in Africa, during rush hour.

just how good is it? well, i kept playing it for years despite them twats Radiohead being on it. and the Presidents of the United States of America, who really should have considered a shorter name. POTUS, perhaps. the mix is just so excellent that the tapes got played through and through.

it's a kind of weird nostalgia, really, as i do and do not look back on the days of this tape with any nostalgia or sentimental hygiene. there were good days and also very bad days. this was kind of the soundtrack to it all, mostly. yes, no doubt i jolly well did play these all the way on at least one drive between Jozi and Cape Town, bru.

when one speaks of association with experience and sentiment, they probably mean this. to all intents and purposes the CD set is identical, if not offering superior sound i suppose. but i don't get the same joy or sense of feeling playing the discs as i can recall from playing the tapes.

no, there is no particular reason or purpose to this post, i suppose. just throwing it out there, i guess, so as to have yet more of my memories recorded on the web, for however long all of this lasts. but, that said, if any of you check this out and go yeah, that's a pretty smart mix, then nice one.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

follow the river

heya


well, this will be a little different. usually, look you see, i do try to be fair to both of the boys whenever i do a post here. in this instance, though, it is all, or if you like just, William. well, balancing things out i suppose. James did have a four year head start as the solo star of this blog, and in any case i suppose James gets plenty of updates for family and friends around the world as and when i do cricket updates.

should i just get on with it? yes, that is probably a quite good idea, rather.

a little while ago we had a particularly warm day. this was an almost perfect one - warm and sunny, but perhaps just a trifle too warm and muggy, for of course we English can never have the perfect day, for we would be bereft of conversation. with it all being as close to perfect as possible, then, William suggested a walk down to the village so that we may enjoy an ice cream. i readily agreed.

this turned out to be a most splendid idea. quite a cracker, or indeed an absolute belter of one. we did not get any cooler on the walk down, and so the ice cream at the end of our journey was all the more pleasant.

whilst purchasing ice creams, William observed or otherwise noted that the famous proprietor of ice creams also sold other items. specifically, fishing nets, priced at a not entirely unreasonable £1 each. no, no value north or south of £1, just £1 flat in this instance. anyway, William requested one, so that we may go and fish. i, mindful of the fact that we have several stuck in the garage after previous such good ideas, said no, not really, we were just there for the ice cream.

but then i spotted one single, solitary and all alone purple fishing net. this i took as a sign from my (considerably) better half, who was not there but quite likes purple, that we should indeed purchase one. and so, much to the delight of William - as is hopefully reflected in these images - we got one.

our relatively brief stroll for a nice ice cream then transformed into an epic quest to master fishing, then. and why not, dear reader, and why not. fishing is quite the noble thing to do, after all, and what better way to spend a sunny if ever so slightly over warm day.

evidently the idea had by William in respect of how fishing works is that one simply casts the net into the waters, and then the fish obediently hop or whatever it is fish do (swim, i suppose) into the net, securing the fisher quite the victory. alas, no, it does not work in such a way. i explained to William that, in terms of his expectations, he would find fish to be most insolent and disobedient, and further that patience was required.

indeed, William has all of the patience one would normally or nominally associate with a child of his age. so, the problem was not being patient or anything, but that the net was stuck in the wrong part of the water. off he went, partially up a tree, then, to cast the net into a body of water he trusted would be home to far more obedient fish.

when he climbed on the tree and laid upon it, i took the above picture and sent it to my (considerably) better half. then, i waited. no knacking or such informing me to be careful came along. this i took as permission for us to continue our voyage into the realm of fishing, and test further dangers in the hope of catching fish.

do any fish swim or make a home in these particular waters? yes. some catfish, i believe. we could even see them swimming around. so, no, this was not done just to humour or amuse him - there was every chance or if you like risk that we may catch one or two. should patience come to the for. well, patience or luck or good fortune.

just where was James as we did all of this? off with his mates, around the village, doing something or other. as he is now approaching his teenage years and probably is such in all but name, me as a parent am probably best off not knowing the specifics of what he is up to; just assuming that, well, i got away with whatever for most of the instances, and trust that he is equally or better behaved.

failure to catch any fish within seconds of the net being submerged in the finest of Yorkshire waters resulted in, as you may well have observed, William concluding that we were stood in entirely the wrong place for his ambitions to work. so we moved around a very great deal indeed.

you may be in something of a rush. if for you the conclusion would be answering the question posed naturally by this, which is did we catch any fish, no. but hopefully you elect to stick around for the rest of my writings and to have a gander at the pictures.

also absent, in person but not spirit of course, from this quest was my (considerably) better half. by no means has she ever been one of them "sun" people, and is loathe or otherwise reticent to be out in it unless absolutely necessary. so this was very much a boys adventure thing.

the importance of that last paragraph came to the fore when William decided that it was remaining quite safely on the bank that was causing his plan not to work. he assured me that if he were allowed to take his shoes and socks off and enter the water then fishing victory would be secured.

now then. on more than one instance, i let you know, an excellent idea involving water has previously seen me required to rescue William from the perils of drowning. so, in truth, i was reluctant to let him engage in this brave new idea. but, then again, it wasn't like i wouldn't jump in and save him, and anyway maybe it was time to see if he had learned from previous such episodes.

permission to enter the water kind of, mostly, saw the noble dream of fishing success come to an end. to walk the entire length of the river, through the middle of the water rather than simply to the side, seemed like the very best thing ever to do. if you have ever done the same or similar, i suspect you will agree.

if you were to ask for how long did William stay in the river, walking, the answer would be until he eventually tired of me asking him to cease doing so. left to his own devices i dare suspect that he would still be off doing it, right now, as either i type or as you read.

upon exiting the water, it was so that William once again decided to have another go at fishing. in fairness, this second or third or fourth attempt saw an increased level of patience. but, not much, and certainly not enough to enjoy success, alas.

feeling rather wet and tired from his exploits, he then had one of his finest ideas for the day. that was to call Mummy, or if you will my (considerably) better half, and ask her to please fetch us in the car rather than have us walk all that way home. we had, in fairness, walked quite some distance by this stage.

so, we did, and indeed she did. and i was able to clean up most of the fishing net and bits of William prior to us getting into the car.

anyway, that's that. and, indeed, what a most splendid and lovely way to spend a sunny afternoon.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buy bulk and save

hello there


indeed, yes, quite. this post is one of them what is all about the fags, or if you like cigarettes, look you see. going on my "most recently read" section (if you are looking at the web version of this blog, not the mobile one), they tend to be rather popular. but i do appreciate that some of you, to be sure, are not so keen on the subject. so, bye if that's you.

cigarettes - smoking - is/are/whichever is correct a needlessly difficult and expensive habit or if you like hobby to engage in here in England. successive governments - except weirdly the mostly despised George Osborne - have seen it as a means to raise tax money. this they have always claimed is to "discourage smokers" and to fund the NHS, who apparently smokers place significant strain on.

interesting. mostly what has happened is that an entirely illegal market for the fags has opened up as a result. also, less people than ever before in the UK are smokers, yet the NHS costs more and more. quite some issues come along when you keep people alive for longer and longer, and strange how they have not said "no, actually, we didn't really mean that the cost of the NHS was all the fault of people smoking". they won't, of course.

regular readers will be quite aware that i have a most splendid patron, or perhaps benefactor is the right word, in the form of Spiros. he is always most happy to, when off on his travels, pick me up some perfectly legal fags, cheap, in countries he goes to what have sensible pricing on them.

alas, he is not always on his travels, and by no means do i place sole responsibility on him for my continued smoking. so, from time to time, my hobby, my habit or indeed my addiction necessitates that i go along to the shops and purchase cigarettes here in England, in ugly packaging that serves no purpose, and at eye watering prices.

recently, however, i have found a way to make the legal purchase of cigarettes in England slightly cheaper. this is via the magic of the well known business model, buying in bulk. it took me quite by surprise to find that the principle or principal (delete as applicable) of "buy bulk and save" would apply to something as heavily regulated and taxed as the fags, but there we have it.

which makes a rather interesting point. should the government be so keen to make us all stop, or quit, or cut down considerably, then why exactly has their approach been one which sees people only being able to make smoking somewhat partially affordable only by buying more cigarettes than they normally would?

no, dear reader, i do not purchase "illegal" cigarettes here in England, be they ones imported via a swift diversion past customs or illicit bootlegs. but yes, i most certainly would do so if only the opportunity was presented. my social life is not extensive or lavish, and alas thus far none of my contemporaries have been able to point me in the correct direction.

my research suggests, however, that the infamous "booze cruise" and "tobacco run" things still go on. for some reason they go to Belgium rather than France these days, but then again one really can't fault the thinking behind if you had to go to one of them, then the one what is not France sounds best, no matter where exactly that is.

i am considering this. let me do some basic maths on the subject, to see if it is viable....

UK Marlboro price - £10.90 a packet / £109.00 for 200 / 10 packets

cost of 3200 Marlboro in UK - £1,744.00

a"tobacco run" trip to Belgium - £100 (allowing for expenses, etc)

cost of 200 Marlboro in Belgium fag warehouse - £60 (approx)

cost of 3200 Marlboro in Belgium - £960

the Belgian leg is all estimates, and excludes things like leave off of work, etc, but still - one could in theory shave off about £500 from the cost of smoking the finest fags in the world by visiting Belgium.

why have i based my calculations on 3200 Marlboro? because of the UK's rather interesting, as in obscene, understanding of the EU. or rather the UK government and tax man's understanding. theoretically, in terms of EU law, i should be able to bring one to one million fags in from mainland Europe with no questions asked. HRMC see it not the same way, and have arbitrarily slammed 3200 as the "maximum" number of fags one person could have for "personal use".

no, at this stage i have not mapped my path to Belgium. for now, then, it turned out that buying 5 packets of the cheapest fags on the go - salty sea dog favourites JPS Players Red - as a specific bundle rather than 5 separate packets (although they are in five separate packs) is cheaper.

apologies for the duplicate receipt - for some reason the lady what served me in Sainsbury's decided that i probably would not want the receipt and just threw it away before even asking me.

well, anyway, here's the maths on getting - legally - the cheapest fags in the UK as cheap as possible.

pack of JPS Players Red - £7.65

cost of 5 packets bought separate - £38.25

pack of 5 x 20 JPS Players Red - £37.70

cost of each pack in the above - £7.54

that's 11p per packet saved, or if you will 55p across the cost of five packets. and it is not like they are not going to be smoked, dear reader, should you have any questions or queries about why one would need so many cigarettes all at once.

rather than going to Belgium - not that i have any issue or quarrel with the place, except the universal issue all face with just how damned close it is to France - another idea might be to invite Belgium to invade and colonise a part of the UK quite close to where i am. there are many places they are welcome to have as far as i am concerned, and please note that i didn't just specify, say, Sunderland or Spennymooor.

once they have set up in such an area, they could open up one of these most splendid sounding fag warehouses, and i may go there to purchase as many as i like (apparently below 3201) without having to cross any body of water of consequence.

yes, well, there we go for now. one would assume that the excessive warnings across this "mega" pack of fags has told you that smoking is very silly, no matter what i do. but, to be clear, it is.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what a fate

heya


curiously, look you see, this post concerns something discarded. this. however, is not quite so salacious as the previous incident, to be sure. well, not overtly or directly.

yes. i have been wandering around once more. this does seem to be something i tend to do. on a recent such episode i saw something which i had to do a double take on, and then of course record it to share here.

record it by means of taking an image. and, unless i am mistaken, this is the first image shared here off of my new phone what has a camera welded to it. the screen packed in on the other one.

indeed, i was walking around one of the more affluent challenged areas of our fine world; a location where seeing items discarded is not so surprising. quite a shame to see it, but alas not of any great surprise.

what you may have worked out was that this was all on a particularly wet day. it was raining and that, and quite nippy, so a splendid classic traditional English day. they say, however, that you instinctively see things which appeal to you. from some distance, and in the wet, my attention was drawn to the title on this snapped, broken and discarded DVD.

hopefully you can make out the title in the above. this new camera seems splendid, but i have had to compress the image from the original 6MB file size to make it easier for you to load up. anyway, should you not be able to make it out, or rather like my saying things, this is, or rather was, either a perfectly legal back up copy or a less than legal "pirate" copy of the film Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

it made me quite sad to see a copy of this most splendid film just smashed up and thrown away. really, it did. for no reason at all can i think of any concern that would cause someone to dislike the film. it was most splendid.

my (considerably) better half and i went to see this one at the cinema. the movies, the pictures, etc. i remember it distinctly, for it was the last thing we did when we were just two. James came along just a few days after we went and saw it. yes, obviously we were expecting him to do so.

that's another element, or if you like shard, of the disc i spotted later. quite spread out, the broken disc was. someone really wished to make sure it was all smashed up, which is very sad.

if i remember right, it was the last film Robert Downey jnr did just before his full tilt revival as a popular figure with the first of them Iron Man films, although he may have done that tele show about the lawyer, Ally something, in between. as far as i am concerned, he, Val Kilmer, the rest of the cast, the writer and director and the film entire should have got a lot more praise and adulation than they did. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is an ace film.

for those of you who are trivia fans, the title Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is off of Japan. apparently the Japanese translated the title of the first James Bond (proper) film, Dr No, as Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, no, absolutely no idea how they did that.

anyway, if you have a copy of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, please don't waste it in this way. the film, as i have mentioned in passing here, is wonderful. rather just pass the disc on to someone else to enjoy.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just bet they are.....

hello there


well, yes. there is little point, look you see, in seeking to shock or upset you. let me get some things out, so to speak. this post will have a high, but probably not explicit, sexual nature to it. if this is the sort of thing, that sort of thing, which troubles or upsets you, then it may well be prudent for you to depart this corner of the internet.

my travels - both through life and around this world - invariably mean that i get to see quite a bit. some of it is interesting. them bits what are of the most interest tend, of course, to end up on here in one capacity or another.

something which i never considered was that i might be one of the things that others on similar travels may observe. whether they viewed me as a point of interest or something banal to forget is, of course, not my place to discuss. the notion entire came to mind when i saw this sign of late.

quite a few people get quite upset about just how many cameras seem to be set up to record us, the simple people of the world, as we go on with our business and try to get on with it all. in truth i have never really noticed or paid attention to such; but signs like this do bring it to stark attention.

the area i was in - we shall get to this in more detail later, or shall if you stick with it - caused the sign to be of more interest than it perhaps normally would. whilst i am no expert on what does and what does not warrant or otherwise constitute a good idea to monitor, nothing of where i happened to be said "keep a close eye on this area, just in case".

and so i went on, around, up and down to have a closer look. perhaps my initial reason for being there had been to focused, and i had missed something or other. indeed i had.

yes, indeed it is. that's a discarded prophylactic, or if you like contraceptive sheath, or if you will condom, or should you prefer rubber johnny. i do believe i shall stick with the latter phrase for this post, as it has the most interest sound of the lot of them. undoubtedly this might be due to the apparent lack of the letter "c" in the name, but that's just speculation.

seeing a callously, casually discarded rubber johnny in this day and age is hardly all that strange, i suppose. maybe this is sad, maybe it is not. such items have been widely available for sale from many places since the late 80s, due to them being one of the most effective (outside of no nookie) protective measures one could take against HIV infection. to this end, it would have been the counter at Our Price or a Virgin Megastore or maybe even HMV where i first purchased a packet, "for a laugh" of course.

one abandoned rubber johnny, and no i am not going to go into whether or not they were soiled or used, i most certainly did not take a close enough look, would probably not make an interesting post. several, however, is a different story. this is that different story.

well, there's two of them for you, in reasonably close proximity to each other i suppose. the mind boggles, if only a little bit.

it's like, how did the above happen? were they both discarded by the same amorous couple, who used one, took a few steps and felt inclined to crack open another? should that be it, well, applause for the stamina, or the use of them special pills what you can get in Spennymoor and similar places. or was this the, for want of a better term, work of two couple, or two gentlemen and one lady or another gentleman, as part of all that "dogging" stuff i hear of but never get invited to?

again, i agree with you. for some seeing two discarded rubber johnnies might be curious, but not interesting enough to, say, do a blog post with pictures. well, as it happens, yes, there were more.

under no circumstances am i sure that one should have a "favourite" in terms of all of this. if i am wrong and it is ok to, then the above is probably it. what's interesting about this one is the discarded can of "energy drink" next to it. perhaps, harking back to the picture before, these discarded rubber johnnies really were the work of just one romantically inclined couple. maybe they used one, took a few steps, felt the urge to use another, took several more steps and went for the hat trick.

assuming this all took space in a relatively short space of time - no one had cleaned all this up, after all - there can be little surprise that the chap elected to deck or down some sort of energy drink beforehand, or for style at the same time. only David Lee Roth, after all, would have the stamina, resources and abilities to do such with no assistance whatsoever.

the most surprising aspect of the above is that there is not a discarded can of Axe or Lynx deodorant there, or anywhere near. as my studies into Axe / Lynx over the years have shown, the intention of the spray is to act as a quasi magnet for feral teenagers to be drawn together so as they may engage in such things. but still, a nice touch that the above was so close to a drain. it is almost as if the users of this particular rubber johnny were contemplating an ad hoc disposal move. or user, maybe. perhaps it is a solo lover who just likes to explore his love for himself frequently; and indeed outside.

just where in the world was i when i saw this quite remarkable proliferation of discarded rubber johnnies? am, alas, bound by certain confidentiality matters so cannot disclose. for those really curious, the above picture, selfie style of course, should provide enough information for you to work it all out.

it would be fair to say that it was an area that i did not expect to see such, though. oh, i mean, sure, everyone from all walks of life "does it", true. but the area i was in did not suggest it was one where such was carried out in ostensible car parking lots, recorded by CCTV. this was a posh, affluent and well to do area, flanked by luxury apartments, offices and such. also, lavish yachts were moored by a prestige dock on a river which is the envy of several desert based communities around the world.

more? yes, of course i saw more of them discarded, otherwise i would not be troubling you with all of this. there were many, many of them, dear reader. no, i did not picture them all, but yes here are some more.

i would have thought it fairly obvious that the appeal for me in the above was the equally discarded cigarette. having a smoke whilst "on the job", so to speak, sounds tricky, possibly dangerous and perhaps quite impressive to, as it were, pull off.

maybe the area i was in was not quite so posh and that as i had assumed. another explanation, and we must face this, is that i had happened upon a "red light" district. one that turns the lights to that shade during an evening, i suspect, as there was no evidence of solicitation whilst i was there.

this country has some funny, peculiar laws regarding the type of commerce engaged in within "red light" areas. we, in fairness, have a peculiar relationship with thingie, such are our reserved ways and stiff upper lip and what have you. probably best not to discuss it too much further then, lest i cause unnecessary arousal.

yeah, that final picture is the "cigarette" discarded one again, with at least one more visible in the distance. no, i did not keep count and i lost track of how many abandoned, cast away rubber johnnies i saw in what was effectively quite a small area.

well, that's that, then. i would like to think that whoever it was using all of them - no matter their overall number - had a frightfully jolly good time doing so. but, yes, you are quite right, it would have been most splendid of them to tidy up once they had finished their business.

as for the CCTV people, well. one reads of those who have voyeuristic tendencies. and let me be clear, i throw no stones at those who are, what with me being a long term fan of Body Double. quite living the dream, i suppose, getting paid to watch live footage of people doing that sort of thing, unless they exclusively hire the more prudish members of our society to do it. but even then, you would think they'd be in their element, tut-tutting and shaking their heads in disgust at such filthy behaviour.





be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

random bowie - earthling

Howdy Pop Pickers


And so another edition of random bowie, look you see. Unless I am mistaken, this is episode or if you prefer edition 18. Despite me loving doing this, motivation is getting tough. This is for one reason, and one reason only – because, I, or rather we, move close to having done them all.

In that respect, this is the last of the 90s albums for me to do. So yes, it is the turn of Earthling. The album that is, arguably, the single most polarising and divisive in the body of work David Bowie gave us. We will no doubt touch on that as we go.

Fantastic, quick fire facts to start (sort of) off with? Sure. By the commonly agreed method of counting them, this was album number 20 by Bowie. Released in early 1997, making it 21 years and a bit old at time of writing, it was something of a “spontaneous” recording. David was, apparently, still buzzing after the lengthy tour to promote 1.Outside, and wanted to channel the energy into some new music. So, he and his chums and merry band of musicians hit the studio.

A fair bit of the 1.Outside tour was, of course, highlighted by the blossoming friendship between Bowie and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. Trent was perhaps drawn in by the more aggressive, bombastic electronic noise elements of Outside; Bowie perhaps felt he could learn from Trent how to push that further. And that’s the basics of the sound of Earthling for you.

I remember one review at the time – and I think it was in the usually conservative, middle of the road, safe as houses Q – suggesting that the record should in fact be called “Hey Kids, I Am Down On This Drum And Bass Thing”. The implication of that, I suppose, is to suggest this was the Bowie “mid-life crisis” album. If only that were true; if it were so then by my maths he would still be with us.

In a bizarre reversal of the critics and reviewer types trend, only one person is known to have called Earthling Bowie’s “best and most important work”, and that was David Bowie. A recurring trend in these episodes / editions of random bowie has been his love for subverting. I thought I’d throw that anecdote in to highlight that.

But what of polarising and divisive? Well, I know some people who will listen to and perhaps own absolutely everything by Bowie except this record. And then I know some who have no interest whatsoever in any Bowie record other than Earthling

Yes, I will get to the music just now, but in terms of the above there’s something I have pondered for about 4 years. When Bowie, in a rare public statement (issued by Kate Moss, I think), said he wanted Scotland to vote to remain part of the UK, one angry Scotsman said he was going to delete his (presumably illegally downloaded) Bowie collection off his laptop. I’ve often wondered if he had Earthling in his collection, and if so did he make an exception to his self imposed patriotism and keep that one. Maybe we will never know.

Anyway, then, the music. I can remember when the lead single came out, Telling Lies. My reaction sort of verged from “what’s all this then” to “what the bloody hell is he doing”. Further, I can recall dismissing the song, remembering it mostly as a monotonous beat, with Bowie sort of shouting / singing “telling lies” over it. Also, him making some “ooh” and “aah” noises, as if he were trying to have a go at making the kind of sex noises he imagined normal, ordinary boring people made and not the presumably most smart ones he and his few peers, such as David Lee Roth, made.

Maybe I am turning into a rose tinted glasses wearing apologist, now wanting to love absolutely everything Bowie did, or perhaps having heard Telling Lies for the first time in many years ahead of writing this I’m discovering it was much, much better than I remembered. Not one of his greatest, sure, but still good.

The sentiment of the above is perhaps true of the whole album, really. I would suggest it’s easily 15 years since I had last played Earthling, who knows maybe 20. What I found is that it felt a lot better than I recalled it – far more positive, optimistic energy to it. Also, the vocals are cool, crisp (hello, Faye) and clear, when for some reason I always remembered them being subdued and hidden away.

For me the best song on the album is now also the most difficult to listen to. Difficult, to be sure, but not impossible. That would be Dead Man Walking. Knowing now what we do, listening back to years before anyone could have known an end would one day come, to hear Bowie sing “and I’m gone” with such clarity, such energy and perfection is a bit of a tough ask.

One or two of you, I suspect, quite like anecdotes. Now seems an appropriate time to share one, then. It was when I first attempted to buy Earthling that I was told, for the first time, that David Bowie was dead. Yes, this was back in 1997, and no, he was not. A rather misguided record store employee in the southern most area of South Africa informed me that he had died "many years ago" when I asked if they happened to have the record in stock as such as of yet.

Sometimes I get told off for not discussing the actual music in these editions of random bowie. Well, sorry, but I never claimed they were anything but a devout, acolyte like set of ramblings by a simple fan. But for those who like such, yes indeed, Dead Man Walking is another instance of Bowie very much “looking back” despite certain biographers trying to claim he never did such. The basic melody and guitar is all the rather obscure 1970 Bowie track The Supermen. Rock legend and music myth says that it in itself is a “gift” Bowie got from Jimmy Page in the 60s.

If we take as a given that every musician has a Spinal Tap moment, it would be fair to say that Bowie has had several. With Earthling, musically, he evoked going up to 11. Bowie made a big fuss that his drum and bass voyage was "different" as they recorded the music they sampled to make the sound, rather than "simply" sampling others. Why not just make 10 louder, and leave 10 as the loudest, many asked. Quite a few fans would have preferred just proper, played straight music here, and that would certainly have allowed the rich lyrics to flow rather more freely. Apparently Bowie liked the idea of them going up to 11 more. 

No, Dead Man Walking seems to have no real relation to the hard to watch but all the same brilliant film of the same name. Also, from what I can gather, the song Seven Years In Tibet is not linked to the film of that name which came out a little while after the Earthling album. With regards to the latter, maybe Bowie was a fan of the book, or perhaps he in spontaneous mood just grabbed titles for the songs which took his fancy. This would seem to be the case with Little Wonder, ostensibly random lines about the seven dwarves out of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs. More innocent times, then – today one could not, you would think, do songs about vertically impaired people and call it Little Wonder……

The cover art for the album is at once amongst his most simplistic and yet also the most intriguing. Why, for instance, is Bowie stood with his back to us? Is it him wanting to watch what he is watching, or is it him saying he’s turning his back on expectations and doing what he wants? Or is it that it just looks really, really cool? Also, the Union Jack jacket. A strange time, the 90s. In the early 90s, Morrissey got labelled “racist” for waving a Union Jack on stage; Paul McCartney got roundly applauded at the same time for wearing a Union Jack jacket to do encores in. The (actually very good so nice one they got attention) band Cornershop got gifted a career when NME decided to run seemingly weekly interviews with them about what they thought of it all.

By the mid-90s, different story. An explosion of British bands, whether or not they did or did not see themselves as part of the media made up “Britpop” phenomenon, Euro 96, the promise PM in waiting Tony Blair gave of a bright, new, different way and Ginger Spice’s dress made the Union Jack all of a sudden the coolest thing ever, or at the least as cool as it once was when Pete Townshend wore a Union Jack jacket in the 60s. Perfection in Bowie subversion dealing with it all, then. I can’t quantify why, but the sight of Bowie wearing a tattered and torn Union Jack (or Union Flag) jacket with his back turned to the world seems to be the perfect answer.

A return to the music? Sure. One other highlight of the album is undoubtedly I’m Afraid Of Americans. Quite a strange song for 1997, for at that time as hard as it is to believe now America didn’t attract worldwide scorn or all that much hatred. Cold war “won”, a poor man’s JFK in the form of a seemingly harmless Clinton in power, most armed conflicts engaged in seemed to be correct. Anyway, the music is sinister and the lyrics are genuinely scary and haunting. Worth looking for across the net is an earlier version of the song, when it was I’m Afraid Of The Animals.

One song recorded for Earthling never to be released – and I’ve not found a bootleg, alas – was a re-recording of Baby Universal. Much like Strangers When We Meet from The Buddha Of Suburbia, this was a song that Bowie evidently felt deserved a much bigger audience than it got the first time around. No, I have no idea why he decided not to release the redone version, or if anything blocked it. Some slight consolation is that the live recordings of the time feature Baby Universal, and in truth it doesn’t sound all that much different from the Tin Machine original.

Dealing with what was released, to answer the usual question, then, is Earthling worth getting? Should for some reason you not have it? Yes, no, maybe. There are some good – perhaps great – songs tucked away here, but it’s not what one would call a usual, accessible or straightforward Bowie album. It is, however, the sound of David Bowie filled with passion and energy, and fuelled by the freedom and ability to create whatever pleased him to create. For the latter, alone, it is worth exploring.

And, with all the official and unofficial Bowie albums of the 90s now done as episodes or editions of random bowie, now is the time to wrap up the decade. This, as with all I do, is not meant to be exhaustive or complete, just what I recall and think is worth mentioning.

The major work not covered by my editions of random bowie would, but of course, be Tin Machine. Well, for those interested, I did a huge thing on Tin Machine a few years ago; here is the link.

Perhaps the most frequently overlooked work by Bowie from the 90s is his cover of Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone. It was done with his old mate Mick Ronson, appearing on the album Heaven & Hull. This was an album recorded when Mick knew his departure from the world was coming, and so he went to work, mostly with as many of his old mates as he could reach out to. One cannot help but wonder if this was the point at which the seed of Blackstar was sown. The album also features All The Young Dudes from the Freddie Mercury concert, one of the more prominent examples of Bowie showing the world that he always wanted to be seen primarily as a saxophone player.

Oh, is Bowie's take on Like A Rolling Stone any good? Well, it is most decidedly Tin Machine in terms of the sound, musically and vocally. This, for me, is a very, very good thing. Mostly the late, great guitar of Mr Ronson dominates, but it's a solid enough Bowie vocal. Actually, just listening to it a couple of times now and I am surprised Bowie didn't include this on any of his own releases. As for the live All The Young Dudes, it has all the mastering qualities of a DIN cable connected to a VHS and a tape deck, but that's ok, man. Carry the news.

Speaking of working with old mates, Perfect Day. The astonishing 1997 multi artist cover started off as a BBC promotional film. Eventually – wisely – it was released as a single, in a time when singles were important, to raise funds for the BBC’s regular Children In Need appeal.

Back to often overlooked, and Real Cool World, from the soundtrack of the largely forgotten film Cool World. From what I remember the film was some sort of attempt to do an "adult" version of that Roger Rabbit business, and failed. In all likelihood it's the most embarrassing thing in the collected works of Brad Pitt.

Not so for Bowie, though. I can recall getting all very excited when I got this, as (if time has not betrayed my thoughts) this was his first new solo song proper since 1987. Whilst not mind blowingly brilliant, it's not a bad song at all. A little restrained on the vocals, or the vocals are mixed a bit too down maybe, but well worth looking around for.

I really like Bowie (you may have noticed) and I really like Placebo. Alas, their coming together for an official release, Without You I’m Nothing, has never been a favourite of mine. Sacrilege on my behalf, perhaps, but I always found it just a bit too monotonous and melodramatic. Considering he did this, one really has to ask just how bad was the song Coldplay approached him with that Bowie infamously dismissed as “not being very good”. Better, and more exciting, is the live T-Rex cover Bowie and Placebo did together. Well worth checking out, and no I don't remember what it was - 20th Century Boy, I think, maybe?

Beyond that, there was an insane amount of singles released in support of Earthling. Who knows, perhaps even in 1997 Bowie sensed that we were in the last days of people buying singles. He mentioned this new "internet" thing in a number of interviews at the time, when not drawing attention to his sensational "sex" earring. By no means do I have all the singles issued from the album, just one of Telling Lies, one or maybe two of Little Wonder and certainly the 2 versions of Dead Man Walking.

No "new" or extra tracks on the singles, alas. Just a whole load of frenetic, frequently frightening remixes of the songs. Also, some - I think Dead Man Walking - featured equally terrifying mixes of songs lifted from 1.Outside, presumably for fun. I tried listening to a couple of them before writing this, and discovered that I am probably old now. Which is strange, as Bowie would not have been all that much older than I am now when he made them.

Should you have a favourite Bowie 90s moment not covered here, sorry. No doubt I have missed something and will kick myself for it, but then again I do keep unleashing a defence saying I am not trying to be complete or exhaustive here. Just a simple fan, always was, now is and forever shall be in love with the music Bowie gave us all.

Thank you, once again and as ever, for reading. Until the next edition, then……



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

memories of green

hello


not much, really. i just know that a few of you really, really like using me as your source for calendar information each month. with that being the case i thought i had best add it now, so it may be of some practical use, look you see.

yes, i am still sticking with that Minecraft one what cost me 12p off of Tesco a little while into this year. some 25% in, if i remember right, was when they sold this to me for that price.

what does the image on the calendar for this month show off? some sort of warrior type dude off to challenge someone or other. possibly, i mean i have no idea, i know the basics of what the game is supposed to be but i would not profess or confess to any great amount of knowledge.

a fair few of you were quite upset when i stopped using the Babes calendar off of Poundland, which cost £1. well, sorry, but the quality of paper used was poor, so it kept on tearing and falling down. as i have not thrown it out or otherwise discarded it, however, the above image is for you.

how about a picture of the calendar in non-Commodore 64 mode? i can see no reason at all why someone would wish for this, but no problem.

well, that's that really. not a lot i can think of to say or add, and besides, if you are here looking at it you probably just want some date related calendar information. hope this helped with that.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

selfies do not lie

heya


all of us, i would think or be bold enough to presume, had some ideas of things to be taken as a given when we got older. older, yes, look you see, and perhaps even maybe a semblance of grown up, or at the least to have responsibilities.

what of such assumptions, aspirations and ideas did i hold? quite difficult to speak of. perhaps this was the innocence or ignorance of the folly of youth, but i really did take it as a given that i would as a minimum be happy or content, for there was never a reason to suspect an alternate. with that so obviously failed, maybe the rest does not matter.

if we, to be sure, bundle "being a useful / contributing / appreciated / wanted member of society" in with the above, it enables us to move one. there is certainly always one constant that i thought would be true, but has turned out not to be. for some reason i believed that i would never, ever be all precious about my hair.

quite early on, i think, i was resigned to the fact that i would never ever be able to have a decent haircut. my features did not lend themselves to such, so for me there was to be no boss style as sported by the likes of Adam Ant, virtually all of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, aspects of Duran Duran, Bryan Ferry or even David Bowie. but i was fine with this. when, in the late 80s, Jason Donovan done that early morning kids TV interview, it really did shape and influence the rest of my life. for some reason, perhaps it was just that moment, when i heard him say that he washed his hair with shampoo what had lemon in it, something clicked in me. i thought if i pledged, in a solemn way to always do the same, then everything else could or would fall into place, and that nothing could bring me too down, for i always had solace in the fact that i was washing my hair (when possible, lemon infused shampoo is not always easy to find) the way what Jason Donovan did.

recent selfies have challenged this. whereas i am quite ok with the fact that i am going grey, what seems to irk me is the receding hairline. strange, for when i look in the mirror it doesn't seem that it is receding, but as the titles say, selfies do not like. as in, the vast majority of people in this world who see me only do so through whatever selfies i post and share here, and in them - no matter how i angle the camera - i clearly have what can only be described as a receding hairline.

my biggest issue is that i disgrace myself in the eyes of Denis Leary, a man i respect, admire, appreciate and worship. in the early 90s he pointed out that Bruce Willis had a receding hairline. the manner in which Denis Leary said this left no doubt that Denis Leary considered this to be a very, very bad thing. and so now i am worried that i cannot be a fan, or admirer, of Denis Leary any more, because i have a feature what he did not like at all when the otherwise generally mostly popular Bruce Willis had. if so, and i am legally forced to give up things like my No Cure For Cancer CD, i will be rather upset.

we can never truly fully understand whatever that drive is that makes us live, that primordial instinct to carry on, to continue, to survive. it's so far rooted in our subconscious that we cannot touch it. moments, from time to time, get near it, yet some distance away. that's why i like to shout and scream along to Beautiful Day off of U2, but only a specific part. yes, for the most part the song is just Bono shouting new words over The Sun Always Shines On TV, with the rest of the band (with affection, for i am a staunch U2 fan) acting as some sort of (i am being generous here) second rate a-Ha tribute act. but when it comes to the line "i know i'm not a helpless case", well, it just touches something in me. no, no idea what, or why, it does though.

but, anyway, you are probably just here on the promise of yet more, or if you like further, insights into what i have been bothering my hair with of late. to do so would indeed be to pull us all back from the brink of a downer that this post has inexplicably felt like, would it not? so, to be sure, let us do it.

the last two or three years has, for some reason, seen me take more interest in how my hair appears than i had done for decades. perhaps a sign that i was considering myself in a kinder light, but then again one cannot mistake the signs that maybe my receding hairline is punishment for such vanity. and a fitting punishment too.

anyway, in keeping with the "brush top", or spiky, or slick hairstyle that makes me go "yeah, i actually don't look too bad at all", i invest in different types of gel and that. in this instance, as you can see in pictures thus far, the latest thing to take my fancy for doing this is some Toni & Guy "texturising glue androgynous hold".

for those what don't know, Toni & Guy are the top name in London barbers, and have been for decades. it was them what probably done all the top pop stars hair back in the 60s, but who i cannot name for i do not know for certain that they did. but i like to think of it from time to time.

it is with this in mind that i of course bought the product. also, it was marked down to 50p a tube in Poundland, so i bought two of them.

with most, or the majority, of shampoo manufacturers being right pr!cks and no longer putting lemon in their products, i need to explore options. one i have found is this mandarin and papaya infused shampoo, also off of Poundland, but costing £1 a bottle so i only bought the one.

something i only became aware of recently was that blackbirds are prolific fighters, or maybe survivors. a pleasure i extract from the world is feeding birds, or placing food out in the garden for whatever birds choose to come and feast. recently, a blackbird with a flustered, somewhat bleeding leg landed and ate. i am unsure if it escaped the clutches of a cat, or engaged in combat with a fellow bird. in either instance, well done. also, there is a bird - and i am unsure if it is a blackbird or the one i discussed just now or another species - which regularly comes by and has a whistle what is unmistakably the opening of Day Tripper, that song off of The Beatles. sometimes i do wonder, worry perhaps, of what would become of such moments if i failed to record them here.

does mandarin or papaya have citrus inside, or are they recognised as citrus? in truth i have no idea. the limitations on shampoo with lemon in them means that from time to time i have got ones what have lime in, figuring Jason Donovan would let it slide if he ever found out.

yes, perhaps i do spend too much time, which is to say any, concerned about how Jason Donovan and Denis Leary might react should they stumble upon me and my world and examine what goes on with my hair. but, in this world, clutch and cling to what you can, and know that most of it shall escape your grasp anyhow.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

millions denied

heya


quite a few of you, to be sure, seem to rather like my occasional comments regarding the unnecessary plight i face in trying to secure a pension. just like many of you, look you see, i have elected to invest in the "National Lottery" pension, for it seems to offer the greatest rewards for the smallest of investments. although increasingly it seems the catch to that "sounds too good to be true" scenario is that they never actually pay out to more than a small select group of investors.

no matter, in respect of the latter. i press on, then, in the hope that this rather exciting sounding pension fund eventually pays out so that i may enjoy whatever old age, or older i suppose, years i get. indeed, yes, my passion for cigarettes probably means not so many of those years, but i will take what i get given.

one of the few things more frustrating that the National Lottery Pension Fund never ever seeming to pay out is when you can't obtain suitable confirmation that they are not going to pay you out. normally one wishes to check these things as soon as possible, early in the morning the day after they have determined who is and who is not to retire.

checking the results later on has all sorts of problems. firstly, you can end up daydreaming that you might have actually won. also, if you go and do a full day's verk (or close enough) and then discover you're actually now a millionaire, you are going to feel very silly and it will tarnish the payout. not tarnish a great deal, i suppose, but cast shadows all the same.

but no. as you can see, on one fine morning when i went on to check that i probably was off to verk that day, i got no confirmation. instead, just a message from the pension fund administrators, saying that they had broken their internet thing and that.

about the only good thing of these mid-week lottery draws is that they offer a chance for one to retire before a Friday. this enables one to skip a lot of silly bother with regards to matters such as drinks, farewell speeches and the presentation of golden clocks.

surprisingly,  as it happens, it turns out that when they had fixed their internet and what have you, lo and behold i had not secure the correct pension fund numbers enabling me to retire. this i had presumed somewhere in advance, but it is always nice to know for sure.

yes, i shall press on with all of this, until someone can show me a better approach that does not cost any more than this one.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jurassic world fallen kingdom

hey there


and so another cinema trip, look you see. this would be the second time in two months that we, as a collective or if you like family, have been. quite improbably, for it is Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom we went to see this time after Avengers Infinity War last time, my current streak of seeing at least one Chris Pratt movie at the cinema per month has now stretched to two.

for some reason our friends in America, and indeed beyond, get this movie - the dinosaur one mentioned above, and not the super hero one - a week or two later than us here in England, or the UK if you will. i am not entirely certain that a spoiler warning is warranted, but if you do then this is it.

why were we off to see this one? well, the boys both love these Jurassic Shed films. as, for that matter, does my (considerably) better half. me? really, really big fan of the first three, the first two of which i saw at the cinema, but i was not overtly dazzled by the fourth one.

a picture of the boys stood outside the cinema? why not.

for those of you in a rush, then yes indeed Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom is very much worth a gander. much better than Jurassic World No Subtitle for me. but honestly it's not got some great, grand or original plot to it - rather more a collection of awesome, excellent and quite exciting set pieces assembled in a relatively coherent enough way to tell a story.

and just what is the story? well, leaving aside the metaphors and parallels of human life so as to get to the business end, basically it starts off with the exciting bits of Jurassic Park III, which was way better than some seem to say, with the final aspects of Jurassic Park The Lost World stapled on the end. with Jeff Goldblum as quasi human bookends to the film. yes, he is in it, yes he is only on screen for some 10 or so minutes to say profound stuff and yes, he probably did get paid somewhere north of US$10million for his time, for he is worth it.

something which was most pleasing for me in terms of casting was Ted Levine, perhaps better known as Jame Gumb out of the silence of the lambs. to that end, i am certain there is an easter egg of sorts in this movie referencing that. erm, mindful of spoilers, there's a late on scene featuring Mr Levine's character where the cinematography and action appears to mimic the infamous "elevator escape" scene in that cinema classic.

what of the stars of the show? well, the dinosaurs are as smart as ever in terms of effect. no, for my generation i suppose, nothing they do will be as mind blowing as our first encounter with Jurassic Park, but standards do not slip. yes, yet again the T-Rex seems forced to take a back seat, as he/she/it has done since the first two. oh well.

the human leads? well, Chris Pratt. yes he is good and that, but wisely the producers of films, unlike, say, the BBC and Graham Norton, understand there is such a thing as a saturation point, where over exposure can see an audience drift away. so he is rather nicely restrained in this one, letting the action stand to the fore.

you kind of wish that them what made Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom has been allowed a crack at these new Star Wars films. they, on the basis of this film, understand that what an audience of a much loved film wants really is more of the same. whereas Star Wars has been allowed to descend into farcical space cow milking with The Last Jedi, the makers of this film know that when an audience pays to watch a Jurassic film, what they want is people running away from dinosaurs, screaming.

my understanding is that, for this year, Avengers Infinity War currently owns around about 40% of all money which exists in the world. to this end, then, Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom shall not end up as being the biggest box office success of the year. but, i wager, it will end as a pretty close second. if, you know, one uses money as a measurement of success. which, in fairness, much of the world actually does do.

right, well, that's probably all of that. i somehow doubt any sort of Jurassic Shed film requires my endorsement in order for people to go and watch it, but if required then there it is.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wanders with an old friend

g'day


it has, look you see, been a fair bit of time since i mentioned the still relatively recently discovered passion my Dad has for dogging. this silence is because my posts on what my Dad understands the term "dogging" to mean attracted all sorts of unsavoury posts and unsolicited invitations to that other understanding of the word.

no, sorry to disappoint you apparently many fans of what has become the traditional form of dogging; my Dad considers it to refer to when him and his mates take their beloved pet dogs for a stroll over aspects of the many beauties of New Zealand.

when one gets a message from their Dad saying "hey son, how about some pictures of me out dogging", generally caution is best observed when consenting to such. in my instance, i had little or no hesitation, for it meant the chance to see dear old Marmite wandering around.

this, you would hardly need me to point out, all looks lovely. gorgeous, as point of fact. as much as i love roaming around the beauty of Yorkshire, i can certainly understand the appeal of one of the more appreciative members of the Empire, or if you like Commonwealth.

of the numerous islands that form New Zealand, which one is this on? a larger one. traditionally one speaks of New Zealand in terms of islands "north" and "south". however, what they understand to be those points on a compass are not always, strictly speaking, what we believe them to be.

so, it would be somewhat disrespectful for me to go and say a particular island when the people who live on it might call it something else.

it is good to see Marmite strolling out and about. she'll be quite old now, by my reckoning, in particular when one applies the principal of "dog years".

but still, she has roamed in her time a good deal more of the lands that are south of our equator than many, many other living beings. and, so far as i am aware, all of the world agrees on what is south of the equator and what is north of the equator, so no risk of upsetting anyone with that. i think.

other than pictures, my Dad has worked out how to send and receive videos off of his phone. also, how to forward on videos what his mates have sent. so, in this instance, no video that he took whilst out doing what he considers to be dogging, but a rather witty video clip he shared.

i think that might well be Leon Schuster, but it has been a while since i last saw him. well, if it is, well remembered me. should it not be, my apologies to all concerned and nice one whoever did it.

another image of Marmite on that smart looking bridge to wrap this up? sure, why not.

yes, a bit minimalist on words, this post has been. i thought the lovely pictures off of Dad would. however, be of far more interest than much of what i could add on.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!