so here it is

helloooo, oh, ho ho ho, there


'tis Christmas Day, to be sure, so it is, look you see.

for many of us this is a day of celebration, of time with family and friends, for time to contemplate family and friends not with us, and to be merry.

also, though, it is a time of Slade.

yes, no, that is a picture of my dear sister and her offspring, rather than Slade. but they are having a bit of a boogie and a singalong to Slade in the above image.

indeed i do have video to prove as much, and here it is.

nice to know that Noddy, Dave and them other two what were in the band (i am pretty sure one was called Don) have some new fans!

me? a bit of Slade, to be sure. but also my usual traditions. i have indeed played the magnificent b-side to the 12" of The Power Of Love off of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, so i have been blessed by Holly, Paul and The Lads. also, i have played the very finest Christmas recording of The King, Elvis Presley what Poundland had available. to finish, of course, i watched a screening of Chas & Dave Christmas Cockney Knees Up, featuring Chas, Dave, Lennie Peters and others, although suspiciously the Jim Davidson bit would appear to have been edited out.

anyway, get on with whatever you do for Christmas!




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a different approach to Christmas

g'day


it was a little while ago - last month, as point of fact, look you see - that i gave some scant coverage to an interesting approach to Remembrance Sunday being commemorated by one of the more popular documentary TV channels.

my attention has, duly, been drawn to the fact that this documentary channel has elected to do much of the same for Christmas. delight is to be had, for when i was alerted to such i was able, or if you like enabled, to get you some select images.

yes, indeed. let it not be said that any aspect or facet of our society overlooks the time of year that it is, to be sure. the highly informative Babestation documentary channel has elected to break from their serious, no-nonsense approach to broadcasting informative items in order to allow their presenters to be resplendent in traditional Christmas attire.

unfortunately i failed to catch exactly what the nature of the documentary was. i am confident, however, that the presence of such a fine, splendid Christmas hat simply served to reinforce the importance of the subject matter.

the dynamics of this documentary channel are special. not only do they allow the audience to call in, but rather they actively encourage it. i am led to believe that a fee of some substance is charged for this participation, though i have every confidence that those who do so feel it is value for money.

alas, no, i have not made any such calls. being something of a know it all it is rare that i switch on to this channel. not that you would ascertain as much from the frequent posts of the last two months.

well, if an important and valuable documentary broadcaster such as Babestation is in full swing with Christmas celebrations i verily and merrily suggest you join in too.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas with Star Wars

hello, or if you like ho ho ho


and so it seems, dear reader, that another year shall pass without my dream being made real. that dream, look you see, is of course the release of Christmas with The Stone Roses by The Stone Roses. many, to be sure, believe that the band shall not perform together again; others hope that a third album by them will come along. i am in the latter group, and what better time for them to do a record than at Christmas with a Christmas theme?

no matter. let us not lament, to be sure, the cards we wanted but instead play the cards as they have been dealt. this means turning our attention, perhaps once more on this blog, to the legendary, infamous and distinctly not celebrated Star Wars Holiday Special.

there is every chance that i have covered this curiosity before. certainly, there are absolute acres of articles and what have you all across the internet on the subject. yes, also copies of the actual show, if i may call it such, are fairly easy to access. also on the internet.

what is it, for those unaware? a - get this - "musical special" made for the holidays in America, 1978. ostensibly, with their secular ways to such things, the "holiday" in question would presumably be the Thanksgiving one, although much of the rest of the world took it as being a Christmas one.

yes, it's bad. bad, bad, bad. there is perhaps one redeeming feature of it, what we will get to later, but even then there's nothing to say that the one redeeming feature of it wouldn't have simply happened at a later stage anyhow.

plot? ostensibly, Han Solo and Chewbacca are heading to Chewbacca's home planet, Kashyyyk, or if you like Wookie Planet C (no me neither), so that Chewie (as he is affectionately known) may reunite with his Wookie brethren to celebrate something called Life Day. i would take it as Life Day translates as the Wookie, or if you will Star Wars equivalent of Thanksgiving in America; Christmas to the remainder of the world what doesn't do Thanksgiving.

yes, as the pictures above and below show, interior design and decor on this Wookie planet seems to have been inspired by late 70s American fashions. it's a massive universe, so in many ways it is reassuring to know that lots of things remain the same in different corners of it.

 
oh, the music? quite a fair bit of late 70s style American disco is performed in it. also, most memorably for most, Princess Leia sings a song along to the Star Wars theme towards the end of it. no, none of the songs are any good or particularly memorable. at all.

the one redeeming aspect of this Star Wars Holiday Special? for some, many, if not all who have seen it, that would be the first appearance proper of the character Boba Fett. he, the bounty hunter, is widely regarded as the third best person ever to appear in Star Wars, just behind Lando and Lobot.

in truth, and in fairness, the cartoon segment out of this Holiday Special is pretty good. on a broad level it shows just how much scope and space there was for loads and loads and loads of good quality stories to happen in the Star Wars universe. this of course has not happened as such as yet, at least not officially. many fans, however, have gone off and created their own stories and adventures set in the created worlds.

now then, Harrison Ford. it is widely known that he didn't really want to be involved in Star Wars by the time of the second film proper, The Empire Strikes Back. he regularly lobbied to have his character, Han Solo, killed off. there's never been much in the way of questions asked as to why he wanted out. perhaps, maybe, it was his experiences with this Holiday Special which told him, or his inner voice, that maybe he should opt out.

presumably, or maybe, then, Harrison Ford either did no drugs at all, or not as many as his illustrious co-stars on the Holiday Special, and could see early days that this wasn't going to go down as well as anyone might have expected or hoped. that, to me, would explain in part why he was so relatively keen to get out of something what had brought worldwide fame and adoration.

the creator of Star Wars and, presumably as a consequence, the Holiday Special? in the rare instances where George Lucas has spoken of it he seems none too thrilled that one or two people at the time thought to video it off the tele and keep the tapes. from what i can recall the most memorable quote off of Mr Lucas about the Holiday Special is the one where he said he'd like to take a hammer and smash every single copy of it. oh.

indeed, in the above one can see Chewbacca wearing a red gown. this is, apparently a big thing for Wookies when they celebrate Life Day. now that i think, i don't recall any reference to Life Day, or Chewbacca wearing a red robe, in any of the other more conventional Star Wars films. perhaps, by chance, they were just all set at a time not near the date.

one of the most remarkable things about the Holiday Special is how many adverts are in it. most uploads to the internet have the entire thing. whilst the running time is just slightly south of two hours, it feels like somewhere north of forty minutes of that is advertisement breaks, maybe more.

if you are a Star Wars fan and for some reason this blog post is your first ever encounter with the Holiday Special, a reasonable question would be whether or not it is worth your time finding it. yes, i suppose. whilst you never ever get the time back you use for anything, this is however an incident where you will regret using said time the way you did. the curiosity factor about it does not sustain across the entire running length of it.

anyway, that will do for that.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a different take on tradition

greetings


well, we are so very nearly at that time of year, look you see. Christmas, to be sure, is just about here. if not well and truly already. should for some reason you be one of them who takes issue with the term Christmas, well, ok, i guess for you we are in what they call the "festive season".

the coming of Christmas, as i shall for ease keep calling it here (as that is what it is), means one thing in particular. yes, my reliving of those childhood memories once more, via the conduit of the "double edition" of a TV guide. this would be a TV guide that i do not purchase at all throughout the year, but still wish to have the excitement of seeing what "big" shows and films the major channels all have on offer.

in truth i deliberated not doing so this year. other than the expense of the TV magazines in general and particularly at Christmas, well, British Christmas TV has had a fall in standards. with so many hundreds of channels available and the instant nature of other forms of entertainment i had been nothing but disappointed with the 2014, 2015 and 2016 editions and broadcast highlights.

another factor  suggesting that perhaps i should not trouble myself with the tradition of a Christmas (and this time New Year, unlike the 2016 rip offs) TV guide was the insistence of some publications that i would want a magazine with Danny Dyer on the cover. no, just no. if you have no idea who, or what, a Danny Dyer is, well then i suggest strongly that you enjoy your blissful ignorance and know that i envy your ignorance.

the lure was just too great, though. in the end i opted, or if you like elected, to purchase the TV Times version this time around, having bought the Radio Times one for the last three years.

why? as in, why the change? well, the Radio Times has proven to be aloof and snooty in their bringing me Christmas highlights, filling the magazine with dull articles and difficult to penetrate listings. the TV Times looked more like it was focused on fun and, as we shall see, has a most excellent way of presenting the highlights and listings.

also - and i cannot emphasise how important this was in my decision - the TV Times was £1 south of the cost of the Radio Times. still, not cheap - the TV Times cost me £3.50, which yes, makes the Radio Times an eye watering £4.50.

let me again give the history, for those interested. back when we had just four TV channels, if you wished to know what was on the tele (and radio) over the next week, you had to purchase both of these magazines. the Radio Times presented what was on BBC1 and BBC2, along with what was being broadcast on BBC Radio. the TV Times gave you the listings for ITV and Channel 4. sorry, can't remember if they covered commercial radio too. probably not, going on the name.

this changed at some point. i think it was in the early 90s, when Sky, BSB and all sorts of other services came in, making it a bit redundant having a magazine with just two channels being reported on. both are still going, and as you saw above there are any number of magazines offering the same information.

 now we have substantially north of 4 channels. which is just as well, as my particular highlight of the Christmas broadcast schedule happens to be on Channel 5. yes, as you can well and truly see above, it is decidedly so that Christmas will be done for me as of Saturday 23 December, when Channel 5 once again broadcasts the magnificent Chas & Dave Christmas Cockney Knees Up special.

thanks to the wonders of the internet i can, i know, watch this any time i like via that whole You Tube thing. you can too, i suppose, by clicking on this link right here in yellow. i just really, really like the idea of watching something dear and super special on broadcast TV over Christmas.

for purists who believe that the joys of Chas & Dave Christmas Cockney Knees Up should only be watched on broadcast television and on Christmas Day, well, that is happening.

as the above reflects, a channel called Yesterday is screening this televisual feast on 25 December at 10pm. now that i look, quite a bit of their line up for Christmas Day looks quite smart. special, even.

speaking of special, no, Chas and Dave is not my only joy on Saturday 23 December. here, have a look at what is happening on the Challenge channel more or less right after Chas and Dave have finished doing their thing.

oh, yes. you beauty. that's 7 (seven) hours of Bullseye i can watch. nice one.

usually the Challenge channel just shows a whole load of Christmas special editions from gameshows off of the 80s and 90s. not so this Christmas. rather disappointingly, i say, they are showing repeats of The Chase all day every day for the whole of what you would call "Christmas week".

not that i have any major issues with The Chase, mind. it's pretty good. i just don't think i would have all that much interest in watching nothing but that during the day. no, alas, advertisers on the Challenge TV channel will not be selling to me much after the Bullseye marathon. well, at least not until we are in 2018.

in terms of actual reading, yes, TV Times goes for a more simple, tabloid like nature in content than what one would find in the pages of the Radio Times. also, more interesting advertising; if the Radio Times actually has adverts in. i don't remember, but as a BBC thing i suspect historically not.

above is, in ZX Spectrum mode, a page of adverts off of the TV Times. it reflects the cosmopolitan nature of their readership. everything from entertaining housewives and chatting with gentlemen who seem merry and gay through to walk-in baths and stair chair lifts are offered. yes, obviously i have not made any contact details clear, lest i be held responsible for anyone making contact.

what about the actual TV programmes listed over Christmas and New Year? surprisingly, and pleasantly, very good. this is the first time in, to my experience at the least, the last 4 or 5 years that the major channels seem to have really done some billy ho effort.

any particular highlights? nothing overtly outstanding in an above average line up would cover it best. well, of the free to air, major channels i suppose ITV has scored the big one, having Jurassic World lined up for Boxing Day (i think). just as big, though, is the BBC having the most recent take on Cinderella on Christmas Day.

other than that, all the major shows the networks have get the traditional "Christmas Special" treatment. ITV have wisely elected to do a Victoria special this year, after not thinking to do so last. and it does not take much imagination to say that the most anticipated special on BBC is the Doctor Who one, where Doctor transforms......

a special shout out to ITV, though, who are showing the decent one of the Harry Potter films on Christmas Day. that is, but of course, the one what has Gary "Gaz" Oldman and Ian Brown out of Stone Roses in it.

the genie is almost back in the bottle, then. i know a lot of my fascination, if not all of it, is harking back to my youth, perhaps longing for simpler days and simpler times. that cannot happen, to be sure, though i am delighted that some of the magic is back in terms of the Christmas TV line up.

New Year's Eve? well, last year the TV guides caused controversy by rushing to print too early, meaning you only got the Christmas line up. not so this year. and New Year's Eve should see me with the Challenge channel on.

indeed. one sees out2017 with the superb You Can't Beat A Bit Of Bully documentary, and 2018 starts with some 6 hours of Bullseye repeats. that will do for me, thank you kindly.

and, well, there we go. if you are one of them posh people who paid the extra £1 for the 2018 Christmas (and this time New Year) edition of the Radio Times, i hope it has brought you much merriment. i do not regret my switch to the TV Times this year.

now let me phone one of these merry and gay chaps off the advert, see how they are doing and ask if by any chance they know Spiros.......




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

delayed and deja vu day of release

howdy pop pickers


this is late, look you see. normally i, to be sure, try and get these "day or release" posts all gone done and dusted and published here as soon as possible after the event. circumstances, time and other things to publish mean that, alas, this is just slightly south of three weeks after the event.

so, then, another U2 album, and not a single new Apple product in sight. this means that one can, then, more or less, focus on the album - Songs Of Experience - itself, without worrying that anyone but those who have chosen to own it and hear it have done so. in theory, at the least, but we shall get to that as well go. or we will if you keep reading.

where does the deja vu element of this particular day of release come in? by taking the bus into town to get the latest U2 release off of HMV. by a strange quirk of fate i think now i have, over the last 30 years, gone into town on the bus to purchase U2 releases to an amount equal to what i did to get Frankie Goes To Hollywood releases between 1984 and 1987.

for what reason did i take the bus this time? snow. whilst i spent somewhere close to an hour scraping car windscreens (mine and my (considerably) better half's vehicles), shovelling the drive and pratting about with coarse salt, i just didn't feel confident enough to drive in it. yes, then, i am a fanny.

should for some reason your day be made better by a "selfie" that i took whilst on the bus, here you go. indeed, i am dressed reasonably smart; by my standards. this was partially to show respect for the new U2 album - which i know i have not commented on much yet but that's standard - but mostly due to another concern which i was required to address whilst there. two birds, one stone, etc.

the bus was, despite the adverse weather, not as late as it could have been in arriving me and taking me to where i needed to be. my other concern to address was done so reasonably amicably, and so off i went to the HMV store so that i may have been able to purchase Songs Of Experience as recorded and released by the band U2. who, i know, get a great deal of hate these days from some people with social media accounts. i think the response to that off of Larry the drummer out of U2 was "so you can type, great, good for you".

happily, maybe, the loud and quite vocal derision and hatred U2 appear to attract in this day and age did not preclude HMV letting the people know that they had their (U2, not HMV) new album for sale. look, here is the poster or banner display in the window. this is just about as much effort as HMV now go to in respect of promoting new music for sale.

purchasing options, as you shall surely see in the somewhat blurry image below, were 1p south of £10 for the standard CD, 1p south of £13 for the "deluxe" CD and indeed 1p south of £30 for the vinyl. as you might expect, from a practicality and general usefulness perspective i went right ahead with the middle one.

is the album any good, then? sorry but it feels like i should give some sort of comment on that aspect at some point. after much listening, and careful consideration, i would say yes it is, but it just is not quite as good as i had expected or anticipated. further words on this as we go, then.

so yeah, i picked up the "deluxe" edition, or "special" edition if that is what it is called, and went to pay. the lady at the till - perhaps the same who sold me the Morrissey release a couple of weeks earlier -  commented that i seemed "rather keen" to get this record. perhaps, then, at around 11am on that cold, snowy Friday morning, i was the first to have come in and purchased it.

in my series of random bowie posts i am often found to be berating the fact that so many of Bowie's albums over the years were declared to be "his best and most important since Scary Monsters" by very lazy writers, looking for an easy description. as such, it would be wrong for me to do any such sort of thing with releases by anyone else. for comparison, then, let me be careful. in my listening experience, as it were, Songs Of Experience is the most "fluent" and flowing record they have put out since All That You Can't Leave Behind, and ostensibly has as many clear hit singles on it. whereas i quite liked How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, i suspect this is better than that one. if you say doing nothing at all would be better than ever recording No Line On The Horizon you get the idea, and unfortunately discussing the (many) merits of Songs Of Innocence gets clouded by things like how Mr Kim Kardassian, or whatever he is called, getting upset about Apple giving him the record for free.

but still, dear reader, but still. whilst the album is not what you would call "impenetrable" to understand, this is a record which the significance of is far from immediate. there are some reasons out there for this, but i do not feel like they are particularly good ones. at all.

to try and gather my thoughts on this i've read a few reviews. one or two are "professional" ones, but mostly fan reactions. i am misquoting someone here, i know, but what someone said was along the lines of this -

"the key to understanding Songs Of Experience is to know that Bono faced a major, near death experience during recording it. like how the key to understanding Achtung Baby was knowing that The Edge (beanie wearing English born guitarist in the band) was going through a divorce."

woah, there. wait just one damnedest of darned minutes. at no point whatsoever did i, or anyone else, need any "key" or prior knowledge at all to understand, or get, Achtung Baby. that was just one of the greatest records of all time, it was immediate, sunk in for what it was and has been appreciated by millions for what is on the record alone ever since.

just what is this "near death" experience of the Bono? it seems the band are keen, if not eager, to "let slip" in interviews that "something happened" - beyond and after the horrific thing where Bono on a bike got twatted by a taxi - but reluctant or hesitant to say what. although glad that Bono would, as far as we know, now be what you may call "ok", this elusive nature does the record no favours. my view - and yours may well differ - is that if someone has to take knowledge or information specific to a work of art in order to understand it - beyond their own knowledge, experience, etc - then that art has failed.

what was up with the Bono, then? no idea. some have speculated that perhaps it was a heart attack, or maybe even cancer. neither of those, however, really tally up with tales of backstage during the Joshua Tree 30th anniversary tour of this year, for the likes of Noel Gallagher have commented that U2's legendary drinking ambitions remain untempered, for a start.

alternatively, the band have suggested that the release of this record was "a year" later than planned. reasons for that would be "not wanting it" to be seen as an overt political comment on Donald Trump, and not wanting it to distract or otherwise detract from the whole celebration of The Joshua Tree.

you know, now that i look at the pricing on these pictures, perhaps my costing guide was out by £1 a time on the CD versions. but i don't think i am wrong. not sure if i am wrong or them signs on the HMV "chart / trending / new release" section are. oh well.

the three best songs on this album are - and at this stage i would say by a measurable if not excessive distance - the ones what got "made available" as theoretical singles. they are, then, The Blackout, You're The Best Thing About Me and Get Out Of Your Own Way. them last two are astonishing, uplifting, entertaining and high impact songs. also, totally misleading about how the remainder of the record sounds.

an advantage of this being late is being able to see what it, Songs Of Experience, gone done in the albums chart after being out for a week. to this, it entered the chart at number 5, behind the very heavily promoted Sam Smith Record (distressingly his face was on the bag i paid HMV 5p for), and others that are either selling well for Christmas or, in the case of number 2, the Official Chart company are adamant will remain in the chart at all times, no matter what special rules they must make up on the fly for it to do so.

no, the remainder of the album outside of them three songs is not bad. far from it, actually. it's just not really a lot like those tracks, and so the record as a whole does not quite sound like you had expected, indeed in my case as had hoped for.

any particular highlights? the quasi bookends, with the latter not being the end, of Love Is All We Have Left and Love Is Bigger Than Anything In Its Way. for those who really, really liked U2 and fell out with them for whatever reason (possibly, bizarrely, tax purposes), these two are a reminder of what drew so many of us to the band at the first or second time of asking.

or maybe not. i think U2 are resigned to the fact that they probably won't attract many or any new fans at all. at this stage, i expect they carry on because they have something to say, and they want it to be heard. otherwise, well, why do it? 

around the time of Songs Of Innocence, when they were doing interviews, mostly the conversations and questions focused on the "backlash" about giving the record away to all and sundry what had Apple accounts. quite strange, really. Apple approached U2 and offered them a whole load of money for the album, Apple distributed the album as they saw fit and yet the band got "blamed" for it.

well, anyway. from one of the interviews, the band highlighted a review they liked. it was, from what i can remember, in an Irish newspaper. the reviewer asked "why do this? just tour the greatest hits every five years or so and feel the love for them". this, you would think, would be too easy. caricatures and exaggerated ideas of what U2 are exist today, so it is also easy to forget that the band were, are, and always will be, confrontational. not just for the sake of it, either.

it might turn out that this is the last ever U2 record. that in itself would be something, for surely No Line On The Horizon in itself would have ended the career of any other band, so well done for going on beyond that. if so, well, quite a decent and respectable way to bow out. depending on just what, exactly, is going on with Bono and these major health scares will, i suspect, dictate what happens next.

overall, then, i would say my hearing of Songs Of Experience is satisfactory, but that sounds way more derogatory and critical than i would wish it to. perhaps as time unravels and there's more clarity on what exactly is going on with some of the lyrics it shall mean more than it presently does.

exactly what "legacy" this album has depends on the last two paragraphs, i suppose. unless some truly significant meaning comes out - not necessarily Bowie Blackstar in purpose, but you never know - i fear that this album, like most of the ones made today, will not be treasured or looked back on in the years to come. which is a shame, for if nothing else You're The Best Thing About Me is the first song in many, many years to - and sorry for the horrid image i create - make me want to get up and dance, and sing / scream the lyrics of.

so, well, anyway. apologies that this has all been a bit, or rather late, in particular with regards to how quickly things are disposable and old news in this era. for what it is worth, the three songs i highlighted above as being the best make, for me, the price of owning this album well and truly worth it.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

preposterous, yet plausible, and ultimately pleasing reading

hello again


time for some book reviews, then. whilst there's no set pattern to when i do these, other than after i have read two, look you see, it does feel like it's been a while since i gone done some. just not much chance to find the time to read, i guess.

anyway, for those of you in a hurry, the basics of the two books most recently read are right there in the title. with that being what it is, i dare suggest that you, in a rush, just want to know which books were really rather good. and so here's a picture of them.

brief, as far as possible spoiler free overview of both? sure. In A Cottage In A Wood by Cass Green is simply superb. the comparisons to the magnificent The Girl On The Train are spot on. it's not particularly the horror the cover or title suggests, though, but rather a suspenseful, scary thriller. much of the same is true of Dead Woman Walking by Sharon Bolton. i purchased it because the plot on the back sounded so absurdly amusing; and it was controversially cheap. ultimately it proved to be one of the best reads i have had in a while. that is unless my earlier reviews said the same thing.

right, on with a closer look. for regulars, as ever, please note that whilst i do my best not to do this, one of them possible *** SPOILER WARNING *** things is now in place. also, i don't do affiliates, endorsements or advertising on this blog. the links are here for your convenience, and are not a recommendation or in any way something i get coins for.

starting where i started, then, means we first look at In A Cottage In A Wood by Cass Green. a book that i believe i am inclined to declare the "best of the year", for what my view on such may count.

provenance of my copy? do you know i can't quite remember, but i am almost certain that it was Tesco. further, i think it was that "book of the week" special what Tesco do, and i suspect i paid either £2 or £3 for it. so it is wonderful it turned out so well.

the plot? Neve is a party girl who, after the end of a relationship she didn't really want to end, has taken to stumbling through the many outlets of drink, party and men London has to offer. after an excursion through these one night, she meets a lady stood by London (or maybe it was Tower) Bridge, not dressed for the weather and looking somewhat distractedly serene. She asks Neve for her name, then her full name, and tells someone it down the phone. and then, well, and then let me say absolutely nothing more on the plot. if you have an intention of reading it, as with The Girl On The Train it is better to know as little as possible.

except, of course, for me to say that it is exceptionally brilliant. i found it tough going to put this novel down, or if you will i found it "unputdownable". given the gift of time to be able to do so i suspect i would have read it all in one go, something i think i have not done with a novel since High Fidelity several years ago.

yes, some parts, elements perhaps, of the plot do seem preposterous. trust me, if you read, this really is only at first and everything comes together. even, if i may dare say such, if it is in certain parts in a very English way of doing things means. a must read, then.

onwards, then, to a book that had such an absurd and darkly comedic plot premise that i could not resist. rather than onwards, maybe up, up and away, then, to Dead Woman Walking by Sharon Bolton.

the provenance of my copy is Tesco, but controversially so. as you can see, it was in the 2 for £7 section. this means it would have cost £3.85 on its own, or a net £3.50 if i spent on a further novel. i did, however, get it for (i think) £2.75. or thereabouts, certainly double digits south in the pence stake of £3.

how? alas this meant buying The Sun. for some reason Tesco makes a paperback available for £2 every week, conditional on the purchase of The Sun - a publication which for some reason gets stacked with actual, real newspapers - at the same time. so, in order to get the novel at the lowest possible cost, i did precisely that, depositing the unwanted publication from the pair in the very nearest recycling depository i could locate.

plot? i have spoken of much excitement about this already without saying what it is. get this - it involves witnessing a murder from a hot air balloon. yes, no, seriously, that is the plot premise. the best part of it is, also as i have intimated or explicitly said, it all works.

but of course there is a good deal more to it than that. how it all unfolds is magnificent, and honestly just as unputdownable as a read as the book above. a truly engrossing thriller which becomes a quite clever mystery too. 

this was really good. again i am reluctant to say too much, for knowing anything more than that may well serve to spoil the reading experience. it has a disruptive narrative, going back and forth in time, but it works well and is certainly all worth it.

right, well, there you go. these are probably the last two reviews that i will do of books for the year that is this year which is 2017. how splendid that they should be two that i really, really thoroughly enjoyed.

hopefully these comments have been of some use to someone somewhere!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more what i watched

and why not


so, i've watched a fair few more things. the last post i did on some things that i had watched was, look you see, unexpectedly popular. north of 100 people read it, so presumably someone out there somewhere wants more.

alas, no, nothing i viewed came from the collection of Sammy Davis jnr, or any of the Rat Pack for that matter. this i say, to be sure, in clarification of a reasonably recent post about tapes of celebrities. as has become the usual, at least it is what i did in the last post, the provenance of each of the discs what i watched will be given. well, as far as i can .

Enter The Dragon 
provenance - That's Entertainment, 49p

yeah, that provenance will come up a few times in this post. when confronted with classic, or interesting looking, films sans a conventional DVD box but in a dapper plastic sleeve i find it hard to resist.

i am not sure when i last saw this film, but i recall my first viewing of it. this was back in the mid 80s, possibly on the north side of mid. the BBFC were in their totalitarian prime back then, armed with scissors. the first version i saw of this, and indeed Way Of The Dragon, had been cut to ribbons by the censors. absolutely any martial arts scene involving weapons and virtually all of the hand to hand bouts of combat were cut out, leaving you with something of a disjointed viewing experience lasting little over an hour, at best. it might be amusing to get one of the BBFC cut to bits copies one day, just to see how badly audiences were treated back then.

this, then, the introduction assured me, was a fully restored and uncut print of the film. and how sensational it was too. no doubt some films similar to this came out before, but this one really did set out a blueprint for action movies. off the top of my head, i suppose Schwarzenegger's Commando was clearly heavily influenced. especially the bit about going to an island and knacking everyone.

from what i can remember Enter The Dragon was highly influential on Spiros, too. yes, it inspired him to take up martial arts, but not for the obvious reasons. he really, really liked the idea of having his own army of martial artists on an island, and indeed entertaining guests by having mostly undressed gentlemen wrestle at dinner tables.

Cyborg
provenance - That's Entertainment, 49p

well, i did warn you on the provenance thing.

i spotted this and elected to get it, both despite the fact and because of the fact that it was one of them there "Region 1" DVDs, theoretically playable in the USA (yee ha) only. some magic means that this is not the case.

the appeal was, like above i suppose, i had only seen a really badly edited version of the film. not the BBFC to blame this time, but South Africa's censors. unless, of course, what got submitted to them was a hacked to ribbons cut of the film, intended either for the UK or the "international" market.

yes, it is a Jean Claude Van Damme film; ostensibly an "early" one in his career. this is supposed to be some post apocalyptic future thing, where he escorts "the saviour of the world" to safety whilst seeking vengeance against those what killed or harmed people he cared for. sort of, almost, kind of, maybe, at a push, something of a sci-fi, and quite sh!tty!, re-imagining of Outlaw Josey Wales.

with a possible spoiler warning here, the reason i got it is that i recalled how a very dear friend was impressed with one scene in it. i mean, he acknowledged that the film entire was rubbish, but the bit where JCVD finds himself crucified, and escapes, in a bit borrowed out of the version of Conan with Arnold in it, was a masterclass in cinematography and editing. he is right on all counts.

other than that, the only real reason i could say that Cyborg is worth a watch is the masterclass in bad acting. seriously. whoever it is that plays the "big bad" in this film, i really cannot be bothered to look it up, delivers by some distance the worst film performance in history, especially during the inevitable final battle.

Marillion Sight & Sound
provenance - Amazon (i think), £5 (or so)

i stumbled on this, and another we will get to later (or will if you keep reading) when i was going through a box looking for something else. with it in my hands, i said yeah, why not, and kept it aside to have a gander at again. this i did, of course.

what is it? part of a series that came out seemingly determined to try and convince people to keep on buying real music, rather than "digital downloads", legal or otherwise. in essence, then, for a quite reasonable price you get a Greatest Hits CD and a sort of Greatest Hits DVD, with ten music promo videos included. is particular variant celebrates Marillion, then. the Scottish band who once were huge but to this day also have quite a dedicated following.

most - maybe 80% if not 90% - of the DVD focuses on what one would call "the Fish" years of the band, as in when Fish was lead vocalist. the three best known songs from that era - Kayleigh, Lavender and Incommunicado all feature. a nice inclusion would have been Market Square Heroes, which had an outrageous video, but no it is not there.

Crypt Of The Living Dead
provenance - That's Entertainment, 49p

for fact fans, who for some reason still read this blog despite a sometimes unusual take on what is a fact, yes, i believe this film is also known as Hannah, Queen Of The Vampires. which is a far more appropriate title than what i saw it under, for "living dead" implies zombies, and zombies there are none.

plot? some sort of professor is messing around on an unspecified island, disturbing the tomb of that lady mentioned above. one of her guardians ensures he comes to a quite gruesome end. so, as you do, his son comes to this island, both to lay his father to rest and find out exactly what happened. he becomes aware of the myth, legend and quite (for the islanders) real fear of Hannah, and so feels compelled to investigate further.

indeed,. as you can see on the DVD face image, this was sold to me as an 18. i figured, then, that it would have some splendid graphic violence in it, or maybe nudies. quite a let down, then, when the disc started playing and i saw this, a PG certificate what it actually had instead.

no matter, i watched. and enjoyed. this was a pretty decent film. all things considered. what the personification of "average" should be, prior to that word having negative connotations. it keeps you interested throughout, and you don't feel like it was a waste of time at the end. but also you don't rant and rave of its greatness.

two points of annoyance with the film. firstly, the ratio of the film kept changing. once scene had the black bars at the top and bottom, the next not. secondly, internet says it is Spanish, but the island and cast feel Greek, yet at the end of the credits it is Turkey what gets all the thanks.

just what is that above? my first ever portable DVD player. must be 12 years old now, as i think one of the first things i watched on it was Star Wars Episode III - Back In Training. still works just fine. most of the films here have been watched on this; i plug it in and pick a desk when i am of a mind to do some ironing. oh yes, modern man, etc.

anyway, back to the films. and one i did not watch on the above player.

The Wicker Man
provenance - north of £10, maybe

yes, i paid full whack for this "4K"restoration, Blu Ray steelbook of The Wicker Man, labelled the "final cut". which suggests that they are no longer going to fiddle with what bits of film they find and issue it again at some later stage. but they said that about the Director's Cut DVD some 10+ years ago, and yes of course i got that one too.

what can i say of The Wicker Man that has not been said? to recap, Christopher Lee was quoted as saying that it was the work he was proudest of. many celebrate it as the greatest British horror film of all time. some go so far as to say that it is the greatest British film ever made. the latter has many contenders for such a title, but then again i would not argue too hard against such a declaration being made. quite simply, it is an astonishing and brilliant film. but i do get baffled as to why, very much like Planet Of The Apes (proper, not that hideous remake), they insist on giving the surprise ending away on the cover art. why assume that everyone has already seen it?

as i watched again i was reminded of the first time i saw this fine film. i'd not heard of it, instead trusting a dear friend when he passed on the video tape. it was a recording off of the BBC, probably quite late at night, at some stage of the mid 80s. this was a well used, scratchy, grainy video. and that, i think, is how you are supposed to see this film. whilst this all cleaned up new copy is bright and crisp (hello, Faye) and clear, that's not how it should be.

U2 Elevation Tour 2001
provenance - 49p, That's Entertainment

here's the personification of how we have devalued music, readers. whether you like them or not U2 are the biggest band in the world. no one sells out as many venues. and yet i can get a double DVD set of arguably one of their greatest performances for south of 50p.

yeah, i fancied a bit more music at one stage, and so put this on. ostensibly it is a gig from touring and promoting the album All That You Can't Leave Behind, arguably the last one they released prior to for some reason them being declared "uncool" and having abuse hurled at them from a small, vocal number. hey ho.

with each passing year i find myself more and more drawn to listening to U2 and REM. in respect of the latter, i "hated" them at the time, and had nothing to do with them. time, age and events has, however, found me discovering a great deal in the music of both which now resonates. if only i knew then what i know now, i suppose.

just about every performance on this disc is solid gold, with Kite being particularly outstanding. but, if you are a U2 fan you will know this; if you are not then i dare say you would not care. 

The Bonfire Of The Vanities
provenance - That's Entertainment, 49p

oh yes, a controversial choice, this. but for some reason i found myself compelled in a wish to watch again, and so i did.

let me make something clear. i am a devotee of the novel. how much? it is my go-to novel to re-re-read, and if for some reason it was a question i would say that Bonfire Of The Vanities by Tom Wolfe is the greatest and most important work of fiction to have been published in my lifetime.

the film was, but of course, an absolute disaster. when you consider the time it was made, the casting was absurd. Tom Hanks was known only for comedy stuff, and that of a lightweight nature. it was all but impossible to take him seriously as a "Master Of The Universe" Wall Street type. not just 3 years after we had seen Michael Douglas give the performance of a lifetime in Wall Street. Bruce Willis, it would be quite fair to say, was also probably not who anyone what had read the book had in mind for the part of a decidedly alcoholic, very English journalist.

it is a film which tries to tell the narrative of the novel but completely and utterly misses the point of the story. the horrid, altered ending does not help in the slightest. anyone who even half kind of liked reading the novel would see this film as a spiteful act of vengeance, so deliberate is it in weakening the greatness of the source material.

and yet. and yet. coming back to it there are some redeeming aspects. if someone had never ever heard of the novel and encountered this now, knowing Tom Hanks as a celebrated actor and Bruce Willis as someone who can act, they might find it a mostly reasonable, linear story.

there's also the casting it got right. if we leave aside the controversy surrounding ditching Alan Arkin from the part (see this book), replacement Morgan Freeman is superb. also, the "side" characters (who actually drive the narrative) are perfectly cast - in particular F Murray Abraham, Saul Rubinek , John Hancock and Kim Cattrall.

a problem with Hollywood, or movie makers, is that they tend to decide to remake films which were great in their original form, delivering a lesser version. what they should do is take a concept that was excellent but did not work in execution first time around. remake bad films, to make them good, then. the world is surely crying out for Bonfire to be done as a film properly, with an ensemble cast. whether as a film or tv series thing, i know not. 

The Stranglers Sight And Sound
provenance - Amazon, about £5 i think

for the more technical sides of the content, then, refer to Marillion above. same format, etc.

in this instance, though, it's 10 videos off of the Men In Black, The Stranglers. a very, very dear friend introduced me to this band and i shall remain eternally grateful that they did.

the ten videos selected here come from their celebrated 77 - 82 period. so no Skin Deep alas, or anything with any of the singers and guitarists who came in to replace Hugh Cornwell in the early 90s.

perhaps the biggest disappointment of the ten selected is that it doesn't feature Nuclear Device. the video for that was boss, with the band sporting them smart Australian hats with corks on them, and waving boomerangs around for good measure. happily, the infamous Nice N Sleazy footage features; the one where the band elected to have some strippers perform on stage with them. oh yes, all got arrested for public indecency, but how nice of the coppers to wait for the performance to finish before moving in and making arrests.

The Entity Force
provenance - That's Entertainment, 49p

yes, another potential bargain purchase, bought on the promise that it was an 18 and looked quite like a horror, so there was every chance of some smart violence, decent special effects and nudies.

there is not a particularly great deal of that in the film, as it turned out. although it does have the now sadly late Adam West in it, which was a plus.

plot? not entirely sure. some people die in bizarre circumstances, with them being placed in a mausoleum. this is a mausoleum where a sorority decided to hold an initiation, by forcing a potential inductee lady to spend the night in it. do American colleges really have these initiation things? anyway, one of the dead in the mausoleum is some sort of wizard or sorcerer, and comes back to life.

a fairly standard slice of 80s cheap and cheerful teen horror movie, really. i wouldn't call it great, but then no it is highly i would watch again, or suggest it to anyone else. well, maybe fans of Adam West who want to see him do something non-Batman, maybe.

Led Zeppelin
provenance - unknown

i really have no idea where i picked up this 2 DVD set. for some reason i suspect it was at one of them trade in stores, like a 'Cash Convertors', for a really low fee.

this was the 2 DVD set put out a few years ago, bringing together most if not all of the footage of the band to exist when all 4 were alive and what was not part of the The Song Remains The Same film.

at present there is a certain trend which seeks to bring to justice some celebrities for alleged crimes committed several years, in fact decades, ago. often these are crimes of a sexual nature. whereas i have no quarrel with people being brought to justice, i do raise an eyebrow at the selective nature of it. Led Zeppelin, for instance, are never brought in to question, despite well documented "incidents", rarely denied and often celebrated, involving John Bonham (see The Dark Stuff) and in particular Jimmy Page (see Hammer Of The Gods). but, i am sure the constabulary are right to pursue only the ones they do.

well, this ended up on as i wanted some vibes as i did some writing, man. for some reason Vintage TV has gotten really, really passionate about broadcasting lots of Hall & Oates, so i turned to my disc collection instead, and selected this.

Rise Of The Zombies
provenance - Poundland, £1

yes, one of them blu ray discs off of Poundland.

plot? there's one of them plague outbreak things, this time in San Francisco, what turns loads into zombies. in this instance the survivors decide to hole up on the island of Alcatraz as they work on a cure.

my heart goes out to the screenplay writer of this film. he, she or they had actually managed to come up with a fairly new take on well covered ground. the moral questions, or if you like scruples, to be sure, are interesting. but any form of originality or inventiveness is quite lost amongst some truly awful, awful acting and mostly average but often distractingly mediocre effects. on the one side it is class that someone felt the screenplay should be filmed, even cheaply, but alas the strengths of it are all diminished by the end product.

an example of where it goes wrong? well, the one recognized "star" in it is Danny Trejo. well, him and that LeVar bloke off of Star Trek. in terms of Danny, it seems he was cast for the acting qualities he could bring, rather than being a badass killer.

Meat Loaf Hits Out Of Hell
provenance - 49p, That's Entertainment

ostensibly, then, this is pretty much the 80s video tape of the same name bunged on a DVD with little or no "remastering" work done. certainly nothing added, for this comprises of some of the hits off of Mr Loaf up to and including 1984.

to be very honest, no, i did not watch it all. i shoved it on to watch, to hear and to marvel at the wonders of Bat Out Of Hell. then i sort of skipped through the rest of the tracks and found that i had skipped through the entire disc.

no, i am not disrespecting Mr Loaf, or his music. i suppose, maybe, i was just being "popular". but all i really, really wanted to do was have a listen to Bat Out Of Hell, and as i had the portable player on the go, putting this disc on was the best and most straightforward way to do that. magnificent song it is, to be sure. when people get around to asking me what exactly is wrong with modern music, i would probably point to something like this, and say that people today lack the ambition, the skill, the risk, the sacrifice and the audacity to try and reach for this greatness.

well then, that's that for another round up of what i have had a bit of a gander at. let me go and watch some more, then, and throw the comments together here. should i be granted the margin to make it that far.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a temporal paradox adventure with jacob rees mogg

greetings


there are various different ways one can view the passing of each and every day, these days, look you see. it is entirely possible, to be sure, to simply see them as days gone that will not come back. an alternate, however, is to see them as us, here in England and indeed what is left of the UK, moving one day closer to a change in leadership regime.

it is perhaps best to quasi or partially quote that often quite cross but always determined lady based in a position of leadership, if not power, in Scotland. to this end, there is absolutely no rational reason why Theresa May should remain as PM. not only does she not actually want the job - my family and i are living proof that she absolutely hates British people, and possibly all people except one or two Italians what voted for her - she's also no good at it. at all.

as discussed in this earlier post, the link in colour and it mostly concerning tea, there are two likely replacements as leader. neither can be worse, but anyway. one is Comrade Jeremy Corbyn, who will usher in a prosperous, freeing era of new communism and new socialism that will really work this time, honest. the other is Landed Gentry type Jacob Rees Mogg, who shall restore the Empire, Imperialism and a strong sense of class divide.

the pictures you see here of Jacob Rees Mogg, or if you like JRM, as we can get away with calling him for now but when he comes to power such a ghastly term will see people who use it taste the birch, from very early on the initial Sunday of this month that is December 2017. oh yes, long before 10am he is impossibly, and quite dapper, well dressed. this is who he is.

for what reason was JRM on the television? to put forward his views on certain matters. well, matters concerning all this "Brexit" business. he is of course a well known advocate of this, as to him it is very much phase one of his rise to power and inevitable coronation. inevitable, perhaps, if only Theresa May has lost her passion for elections, for another vote would lead to Corbyn coming to power.

many, as point of fact several, of you are quite astute and will have identified the issue with the above image. indeed, to this end, you will already be aware of why this post is called what it is, and exactly why JRM is beautifying this blog once more. 

should you not have observed it, here is a close up to help. although there is quite a substantial clue to the quandary in the title of the post.

yes, quite, a temporal paradox. JRM, as is perhaps, should you excuse the use of the term in the context of such a posh gentleman, "common" across the upper classes, seems to operate on two different plains of reality yet does so concurrently. by this i do indeed mean that the two timepieces on display reflect two very different times.

which one was correct? that is the most pressing question you have, so let me break this narrative, although you could argue it is broken already, to address this concern. neither was accurate, either according to my phone or the time displayed by the BBC during this broadcast. as distressing as this shall be for any members of the landed gentry reading, if anything the digital clock was closer to the time that us commoners accept to be correct, rather than the rather posh, presumably priceless, sort of carriage clock thing.

no, i do not believe that traditional - analogue, i suppose - clock is what they call a carriage clock. there's no handle visible to make it so, but maybe it is hidden. whatever, no doubt that it is made from some posh, expensive wood and the clock face is constructed out of ivory or similar. undoubtedly it is a priceless heirloom.

the digital clock looks like one commoners would have. undoubtedly JRM reluctantly instructed one of his servants to go and purchase it when the last known manufacturer of glass valves for his 1940s wireless had the dumb insolence to go ahead and die. you just know that radio is tuned in to either Radio 3 or Radio 4. when the era of his reign dawns, it is likely that they are the only stations which shall be permitted to continue broadcasting.

during the course of his address to the nation, JRM commented that he regarded Belfast as being "the same thing as Somerset". from this i concluded that JRM has not actually been to Belfast, and lamented where oh where is Auberon Waugh now, when we need him most. yes, before you answer, i do indeed know, sadly, that Auberon is no longer of this world.

i have it on particularly good authority - which is to say i have just thought it up - that, in the corridors of power, regret is spoken of the fact that no one thought to marry JRM off into royalty. it wouldn't have had to be British royalty, just any. that would have immediately nullified, if not neutered, his ability to enter active politics. an opportunity lost, then. either we shall benefit from it or suffer the consequences when he is ordained as our overlord.

some of you will, i would think, be quite surprised to see JRM feature on this blog so frequently. i cannot, alas, offer any assurance that his appearances are now at a point of closure. with his coming to power all but inevitable, probably best to expect more.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some star wars stamps

hello there


yes, yes. yes, look you see. here we are, then. this is the end of days, to be sure. well, no. it's now December, and for those what have stuck with it, yes, this is the last look at that Star Wars 'concept art' calendar what i picked up at the start of the year.

a start which seems so near and yet so far. it has, on the whole, been a curious year. one that i am not particularly sure i shall lament the passing of, but still all the same be ever aware of the passing of time.

but first, some stamps then. yes, Star Wars stamps. some like what i bought a few years ago off of Royal Mail, around the time that whole Star Wars Episode VII - Mission To Moscow came out. these, then, celebrate the coming of Star Wars Episode VIII - There Is No Police Academy 8; Yet.

they are, as you in your infinite wisdom will no doubt have ascertained, nowhere near as interesting as the ones what came out a couple of years ago. hang on, bear with me, i will search for a link to them. and here it is - the ones what i bought in October 2015, no less. different times.

should you click, or indeed clock, on the link in red and look at them then look at these above, it's quite difficult to see these new ones as anything other than boring. but of course there are reasons for this. one in particular. none of the human, or if you like humanoid, characters feature. well, yes, i suppose the new, presumed "big baddie", Professor Snape or whatever, and here what runs the bar what is based on Carla out of Cheers look a touch human.

why so? maximising revenue, dear reader. Lucasfilm, or if you like now Disney, own the rights to the images of all the non-human designs. except Stormtroopers. so, the less human characters they use in marketing, the less money they have to pay out in terms of royalties an image rights, and the maximum level of profit is achieved. it's a trifle rough on fans, but then this is all a business.

and there we have it, then. the final month of the year brings with it the final look at some concept art images from the first three Star Wars films, if you exclude the class Holiday Special thing. yes, it's a couple of provisional designs for that whole "the siege of Endor" thing, where the humble Ewoks (although i am not certain they were named as such in the actual film) help the illegal people smuggler, his muscle / bodyguard and the fake princess break down the defences of the Empire. out of the end of Return Of The Jedi, since i did not mention.

is it just me, arguably not paying attention, or is there something of a lack of fuss and fanfare about the imminent release of a new Star Wars film? they would appear not to have gone OTT this time. last time, well the time before last allowing for Rogue One or more rightly Renegade Ten, they went ape with advertising. from what i recall Tesco bought in to this branding, shoving stickers of the likes of Rey, Finn et all on every single product they sold. well, except cigarettes, booze and tampons.

anyway, more pictures of the stamps, as you are possibly more interested in that than you are the words i have to write.

perhaps it is that this new Star Wars film, if you like Episode VIII, is supposed to be "a bit darker" than the rest. a shame if it is, really. whilst i appreciate the infamous "fanboy" brigade take it all more seriously than most, we should not pander to them. at heart, Star Wars is meant to be escapist adventures, suitable for the entire family but aimed mostly at the kids of the world.

oh, he is not called Professor Snape, it looks like his name is meant to be Supreme Leader Snoke. how can he be supreme leader if he is not leader of all? looking at the penguin thing next to him, then, i guess there is still some of the whole concept which is designed to sell toys to the kids.

to their credit, i guess, Royal Mail did an amazing job trying to persuade me to buy these new, quite dull stamps. i think 2, maybe 3, postcards landed advertising it, and there was a stage where i was getting an email a day off of them about them. but no, thank you.

for those interested, let me save you the trouble of a google. here's the link to their Star Wars stamp shop section of their general shop. i see you can still buy some of the older, more interesting ones.

anyway, that will do. yes, of course, at some stage we will make our way to the cinema to see this new Star Wars film. or maybe we will just wait for the disc to be released. i am not sure i like the idea of having to take one of them toy lightsabers along to wave about in the cinema.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!